Continuing to Vent
by Miriam1
Summary: Slices of life from the world of "A Vent Comes to Haunt"
1. Ghosts' First Date

Continuing to Vent

Summary: Slices of life from the world of "A Vent Comes to Haunt"

Feel free to leave suggestions. I can't promise that your idea will fit my vision, but I'll see what I can do.

Some of the chapters will be seriously lighthearted fluff. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_, _Harry Potter_, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", _The Hobbit_, or _Lord of the Rings._

* * *

><p>Ghosts' First Date<p>

Sydney sighed as he touched down. "I'm pretty sure she'll like flowers. I'm not sure what else she likes yet, but most girls like flowers. At least, I hope she will." This island in the Ghost Zone was filled with ghostly flora and fauna. "These don't even grow in the Real World."

The whine of guns priming made him freeze. "What do you think you're doing? What are you doing on my island?"

Sydney trembled and turned slowly to face the hunter. "Skulker… Ah… You remember the Christmas party?"

Skulker furrowed his electronic eyebrows. "Of course. I don't think I'll ever forget completing a decapitation, completely submitted to – no, actually requested." A shiver shot through him. "Correcting a mistake or no, a ghost speaking from a head held in his arms is just creepy."

The ghostly teenager snickered. "Yeah, but not as creepy as the game of catch he started with it. I preferred the more civilized game of catch Myrtle asked Danny to start with the ball of ectoplasm." He gulped. "I guess they'll have to let him join the Headless Hunt now, huh? Like something out of 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow'."

Skulker covered his eyes. Poindexter wasn't worth the effort of hurting. As prey, he was far too easy to catch, he couldn't really fight back – he was no challenge, and Poindexter didn't annoy him enough to waste the fire or other power it would take…

The hunter uncovered his eyes. "So, what about the Christmas party?"

Sydney clasped his hands in front of him, holding the flowers he picked so far as low as his arms would allow. "Well, Myrtle said she'd like to get together with me."

Skulker raised an eyebrow. "You're going on a date?"

"That's the general idea, Skulker. Myrtle might not be as flashy as Ember, but she's really sweet. And more importantly, she likes me."

The bigger ghost's green eyes widened at the heat in Sydney's tone. "Indeed."

Sydney sighed. "She said that it would be far easier for me to visit her than for her to visit me. But the thing is, I don't know how to get to Hogwarts. And besides, I don't know where any portals that would let out in Scotland are. Do you?" He looked up hopefully.

Skulker frowned. "I don't know. I've pretty consistently used Vlad's or that of the Ghost Child's family." Sydney raised his eyebrow – he himself _was_ a ghost child. But he knew Skulker referred to Danny the Halfa.

The hunter ignored the teen's ironic expression and stroked his chin. "I heard that the Box Ghost found his way there, the nuisance. The Bloody Baron, as he likes to be called, was rather… displeased with the chaos that insignificant pest caused the humans in his vicinity."

Sydney looked thoughtful. "The Box Ghost, huh? Fair enough; I'll ask him. But, um…" Skulker raised an eyebrow. "Can I finish picking to complete a bouquet?"

Skulker shook his head, contemplating adolescent romance. "Fine."

* * *

><p>Sydney found the Box Ghost in the warehouse full of Real World items, sulking disconsolately. "Box Ghost?"<p>

The blue ghost looked up half-heartedly. "What are you doing in the demesnes of the Box Ghost, the most frightening…"

"Down-hearted ghost who is down in the dumps. What's giving you a case of the blues, and I don't mean your color?"

The Box Ghost floated in front of Sydney. "My favorite place to obtain new and more interesting boxes, and even bubble wrap, is in Amity Park. But Plasmius expressly forbid ghosts from going there. I haven't found a suitable outlet elsewhere, yet." Not that he checked too many places; ghosts had a hard time breaking habits, and haunting Amity Park was a serious one of his.

"And," Sydney perked up at the blue ghost's change in tone. "There is a certain someone I'm…" He shook his head. "Never mind."

Sydney threw an arm around the Box Ghost's shoulder. This poor ghost suffered the wrath of bullies more than most. True, he also went out of his way to bother them, but even the Box Ghost didn't deserve to be as sad as he appeared to be.

"There, there. Don't feel so bad. I'm not sure if it helps you, but I haven't been back to Amity Park… Well, the Ghost King incident doesn't count. That was a matter of afterlife or permanent death. But besides that, I haven't been back there since Danny Phantom broke my mirror."

The Box Ghost looked up. "Broke your mirror? Isn't that supposed to be bad luck?"

Sydney sighed. "It _was_ bad luck… for me. It was hard enough for me to use it as a portal when I needed to protect helpless students from bullies. But now… it's gone, and well… I suppose I shouldn't have misjudged Danny like that." He stared off for a moment. "Myrtle told me that he arranged for her to get a mentor, and that _he_ protects people from bullies. But when… I never gave him a chance to explain himself."

"When was that?"

"When I, um… overshadowed him. His friend Sam tried to do something with mechanical frogs…"

The Box Ghost grinned. "I remember. I almost became the Mechanical Frog Ghost, but I decided it was better to stick to what I know." Sydney looked askance at him. The Box Ghost remained oblivious. "But that was years ago. What brings you to the warehouse today?"

The sepia ghost adjusted his grip on his bouquet. "I heard that you know the way to get to Hogwarts."

"I do. I found my way there, and they had some of the nicest boxes down in the kitchens… But Phantom and Plasmius are there. They…" The Box Ghost shivered and gulped. "Phantom said to leave them alone."

"I'm sure he did. But I don't intend to bother the humans there…"

"Or other people. They've got _lots_ of people who aren't human."

Sydney furrowed his brows. "I met some of the ghosts at the party, Box Ghost."

The blue ghost shook his head emphatically. "No, no… they have Elves and other things…"

"That type of jive's not on the square, you know. And I _do_ think I'm old enough to not believe in Santa."

The Box Ghost shook his head. If Poindexter didn't want to learn about the magical denizens of Hogwarts, that was his own problem. "So, you want me to show you how to get to Hogwarts, huh? You ready?"

"I'm ready when you are."

* * *

><p>Spring break was over, and classes were back in session. Hannah Abbot headed back to her dorm after dinner when she saw a ghost slide out of the wall. "Oh, hello! You must be new here."<p>

Even though Myrtle told him it would be like this, Sydney found it rather surreal to be visible in a Real World school and have humans not freak out. The girl was taller than he was, but why should he be shy? "H-hello, there. I don't know that I'm new, but I'm just visiting."

Hannah nodded sagely. "The Fat Friar says that ghosts visit all the time. We have lots of resident ghosts, but the House Ghosts seem to be the most important." Sydney blinked. "But you are dressed like a Muggle. I didn't _know_ there were Muggle ghosts. Well… that's not entirely true. Susan's Auntie Amelia told me that there were several well-known ghosts in the Tower of London."

Sydney felt out of his depth. He knew plenty of the ghosts that usually haunt Amity Park, but he hadn't thought of the more famous ghosts that haunt historical sites. He knew there were lots of ghosts all over European-influenced America, but Europe had a much longer, bloodier history. There were bound to be more ghosts. (There might have been others, but he didn't spend enough time studying Native American lore to know about ghosts in their culture.) Sydney felt rather provincial, as he failed to think of all those other ghosts, besides the few he saw most regularly.

But there was that weird word. "What is a Muggle?"

Hannah smiled gently. "If you have to ask, you probably started as one. A Muggle is a non-magical person. Hogwarts is a school of witchcraft and wizardry."

Sydney took off his glasses and rubbed them with a handkerchief as he considered this. When Myrtle started telling him about school, he thought it sounded more like a finishing school. Charms is what tipped him off in the wrong direction. He figured Potions and Herbology were simply British names for Chemistry and Botany. "Um… Does that mean you're a… witch?"

Hannah laughed merrily. "Of course I am."

Sydney considered. "I guess that means Myrtle was one, too. I wonder if she can do magic."

Hannah blinked. "Of course she can't. She's a ghost."

Sydney put his hands on his hips indignantly. "Look here, you. I don't see that being a ghost should stop someone from doing magic, or anything else. Desiree is a ghost I know who has genie-like magic, and she uses it to grant wishes. Ember McLain is a ghost who does some type of music magic. Different ghosts have different powers, and I see _no_ call to disparage them for it."

Hannah took a step back. "I… don't know what to say. I certainly meant no offense, and I apologize for giving any. It's just that… what you've said goes counter to my – most of the Wizarding World's – experience with ghosts. I mean, if Professor Binns could do magic, he wouldn't need the Headmaster's spell to mark papers. He can't even _touch_ anything in the physical world." She thought for a moment. "Moaning Myrtle can touch the water and the pipes, but… The only ghost I know that could affect all manners of physical stuff is Peeves, and he's not a real ghost, but a poltergeist."

Sydney frowned. "_Moaning_ Myrtle? That's not very nice." He was caught up in too many paradigm shifts to address anything but that, at present.

The Hufflepuff was brought up short. "I suppose you're right. I never really thought about it. It's just what everyone always calls her."

He raised an eyebrow. "She couldn't have liked that, much."

"No. You're right, again. I'm sorry for offending you, and I apologize for any disrespect on her behalf."

Sydney frowned again, this time in concentration. "Alright. Just… don't do it again."

Hannah thought this through, like the prefect she was. "Of course. And I'll spread the word. No one should have to spend all of eternity with a nickname they hate."

The ghost's expression softened. "That would be swell." She smiled. "Now, can you tell me where I can find her?"

"Absolutely. She haunts the girl's lav on the second floor. We're one floor beneath the ground level."

"Thanks for all your help."

Hannah was about to wave, but said, "Wait – there's one more thing. She rather enjoys telling the story of how she died. It might impress her if you asked."

Sydney pulled one of the flowers free from his bouquet. "Thank you again, Miss."

The girl widened her eyes as she accepted the flower. Their fingers touched, and she noticed that the ghost's hand was cool to the touch, but not freezing as the local ghosts were. "Good luck."

* * *

><p>Sydney wandered two floors above where he met that girl. "She sounded so helpful, too. But there <em>is<em> no girl's restroom on this floor. Golly gee willikers, that's just not right!"

A gasp from the staircase to his left drew his attention. "Sydney Poindexter? What are _you_ doing here?" Danny asked.

Sydney saw both Danny and Plasmius in human form, wearing… robes of the sort he rather suspected Gandalf would have worn. Sydney was a fantasy geek (as he was constantly reminded, among the other things for which he was picked on), and _The Hobbit_ and _Lord of the Rings_ were amongst his favorite. "Danny? And P-p-p…"

Danny helped him out. "Professor Masters and I are headed up to a class."

Sydney trembled, but said gamely, "At the Christmas party, I heard it said that you were here. I just, uh…" He looked around and they seemed to be alone. "You halfas don't _really_ have magic, do you?"

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "No, Mr. Poindexter, and you would do well to keep that to yourself, hmm? However, since it is Saturday, Daniel and I have a special lesson on Defense Against the Dark Arts, before we enjoy a pleasant evening together."

Syndey's eyes went wide. "_Defense_ against them, Pl-, er, Professor?"

Vlad smirked. "Good boy. Yes, defense against them. Daniel's hero complex has only grown since we came here. You don't truly think Daniel would use his skills for Dark purposes, do you?"

The sepia ghost grimaced and blushed, as he distinctly remember accusing Danny, '…and you're using those powers for EVIL?' The fact that he was proven seriously wrong on the 'using powers for evil' embarrassed him; Myrtle told him that when Danny explained his side of the story, he was getting back at the fellow who bullied HIM. It was hard to imagine, because Danny was so much more powerful than the guy he used his powers against, but… Danny WAS a little guy, and if he didn't use his powers, he might indeed be considered an easy mark for a bully.

Further, Danny APOLOGIZED for abusing his power, even though he was further bullied for his trouble for it.

Ashamed of his prior judgment, Sydney gulped down his guilt. He coughed. "I suppose not, sir."

Danny covered his eyes and thought about what Sydney's appearance in Hogwarts could mean. Uncovering his eyes, he asked, "You're here to see Myrtle, aren't you?"

Once Sydney realized that Danny wasn't going to take him to task for his prior bad judgment call, he squared his shoulders. "Yes. She said it would be easier for me to visit her than for her to visit me."

"You're probably right." Danny smiled. "Have a good time, and tell her I said hello, and I'll try to see her some time this week."

Poindexter couldn't believe his luck. The two fearsome, powerful halfas practically gave him their blessing to be here. (Well… Danny did, and Plasmius didn't object.) "Sure thing. But, um… A girl near the portal told me that Myrtle was in the second floor girls' bathroom. But there's nothing like that anywhere on this floor!"

Vlad smirked again, and Danny elbowed him and sighed. "I see the problem. For some reason, floors are numbered differently in America and in Europe. The Main Hall is on the ground floor. The first floor up is the first floor, even though at home, we'd call this the second floor. To find Myrtle's bathroom, you want the next floor up from here."

Tension left the poor, confused ghost. "Thanks a lot, Danny. I knew that girl sounded too sincere to send me on a wild goose chase."

Danny smiled. "Enjoy, and good luck."

* * *

><p>Sydney found the proper door and knocked. Myrtle stuck her head out of the door. "Who is it?" Her eyes brightened. "Sydney! You came!" She glided out and… she didn't know him well enough to hug him the way she wanted to. Yet.<p>

The boy straightened and swallowed his nervousness. "Of course I did! And these beautiful flowers are for a beautiful girl."

Myrtle's eyes sparkled. "For me? Thank you! No one's ever given me flowers before!"

Sydney grinned. He did something right, and he was proud of himself. That is, until Myrtle's face fell. "Myrtle, what's wrong?"

The girl's eyes welled with tears. "I… Sydney, I'm not… I can't…"

"I'm sorry to have hurt you. What did I do wrong?"

Myrtle's tears spilled. "I can't touch anything but the pipes and water. The flowers are physical and tangible, and I can't… Oh!" She hid her face in her hands and sobbed.

Sydney peaked his eyebrows. With all the interaction he and the other ghosts had with humans, this wasn't a difficulty he in any way anticipated. "Um…" He had to think fast, or she might think he was teasing her.

He figured it out. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he smiled gently as she lowered her hands. Her breath hitched, and he nodded. "Myrtle, you're the same kind of ghost as Sir Nicholas, right?"

She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robe. "Uh-huh."

"Well… Skulker was able to use his very tangible blade to, um, finish cutting off Sir Nicholas's head, remember?" He cringed at the memory, but it made the former knight happy.

Myrtle sniffed away her tears and smiled. "Oh, yes. Sir Nicholas is _much_ happier now, and Sir Patrick can't tease him about not joining the Headless Hunt anymore."

Sydney made a face in dismay, thought better of what he almost said, and continued his initial train of thought. "Er, right. Well, Skulker's blade worked, 'cause it's a ghostly object meant to be used on ghosts."

Myrtle nodded, hanging on his words. "Yeah."

"Well, these flowers come from the Ghost Zone. So I would think that even if I didn't turn them intangible, you could hold them without a problem."

Myrtle flew forward and hugged him. "Oh, Sydney! You thought of everything!"

Sydney felt smug, enjoying being hugged, and he blushed. "I try."

She released him, and he gave the flowers to her. "Wow. Sydney, I haven't touched flowers since my last Herbology class since before I died."

The American ghost smiled. "Care to tell me about that?" If this worked, Sydney would forgive the human girl who gave him confusing directions completely.

Myrtle glowed with pleasure. "Absolutely. Let me just put these…um…"

"You'll put them somewhere you can see them." Sydney hoped to encourage her to continue her good mood.

"Um, Sydney, where will I… I mean, while I have a shelf to put a vase, I don't have a vase. And even if I did, I couldn't touch it."

"Oh, fiddle-sticks! I didn't think of that." Who knew that something as simple as giving flowers to a girl he liked would be so complicated? This could only be a ghost issue. Sydney didn't think humans had these kinds of difficulties. He sighed. "I wish Desiree were here. If she were, we could wish for a vase, and she could conjure one for us."

Myrtle perked up. "Sydney, that's it! You're brilliant!"

"I am?"

She giggled. "Yes, you are. We don't need Desiree to be here. The witches and wizards here could conjure one for us!"

Sydney put a hand on his forehead. "Heh, heh. Right. This _is_ a school of witchcraft and wizardry. So who would do this for us?"

Myrtle put her hand to her mouth in thought. "We could ask any of the professors, except Professor Masters and Professor Binns, of course."

"The two ghosts who are also professors," Sydney observed.

"Well, yes. Professor Masters is a Muggle and doesn't have magic. And… Sir Nicholas and Danny explained this to me: no one is quite sure _why_ there is a difference between your kind of ghost and my kind of ghost. Desiree is your kind of ghost, so she has no problem interacting with the physical, and can even use magic. Professor Binns is my kind of ghost. He remembers all of the magic he used to do. But he can't even _touch_ the physical, never mind work magic on it." She sighed. "Neither can I. And I was only a First Year when I died."

Sydney grabbed her hand unoccupied by the flowers. "And you'll tell me all about it once we get this taken care of." She brightened and smiled at this. "So which professor should we ask?"

Myrtle's face fell. "I really don't know. I, um… Headmaster Dumbledore is a very busy man. He used to be my professor in Transfigurations, but…"

Sydney shook his head and interrupted. "That's the second time you've said that word – the first was at the party. What is 'trans-figure-ations'?" he cautiously enunciated, hoping he pronounced the unfamiliar word correctly.

The girl brightened at the chance to impress her Muggle friend. "Transfigurations is the ability to change things from one thing to another. We start out changing pins into matchsticks and back, to changing gerbils into pincushions. When witches and wizards are advanced enough, they can transfigure themselves into animals. That talent is really rare. Professor McGonagall, the current professor of Transfigurations, is an Animagus who can turn into a cat. James Potter used to be able to turn into a stag, Sirius Black could turn into a big, black dog, and Peter Pettigrew could turn himself into a rat."

Sydney, wide-eyed, murmured, "No kidding. Hmm… I wonder if that's anything like Bertrand, who can take any form he likes. Except, when he's anything not resembling human, he's standard ghost green. And the halfas can transform from their human to ghost form and back."

Myrtle met Bertrand at the Christmas party, and he seemed like a thoroughly unpleasant ghost. Ms. Spectra could be nice when she felt like it, but Danny didn't care for either of them. "Well… Maybe something like it. I mean, Danny and…" She thought for a moment. "Professor Masters can change because human and ghost are their natural forms. Bertrand," she sniffed disdainfully, "can become whatever he wants because he's only a blob of ectoplasm. He _has_ no set form. But the Animagi, well, they are _completely_ human. But with enough skill, they can become the animals."

Sydney furrowed his brows in thought. "So the skill is practically the same, but the method is all different."

Myrtle thought about this. "That makes sense, I guess."

"Myrtle, who were those guys you mentioned?"

The ghost girl's face darkened. "They were three bullies." Sydney jerked his head. "They, with a fourth fellow called Remus Lupin, used to call their gang 'the Marauders.' They weren't very nice, and they picked on a fellow who… um… reminds me of _you_ a bit. His name is Severus Snape."

Sydney stewed for a few minutes. Bullies picking on anyone were never a good thing, but four-against-one odds were beyond unfair. When he calmed down enough to speak rationally, he asked, "So what happened to them?"

Myrtle shrugged one shoulder uncomfortably. "Well, they all graduated. But Tom Marvolo Riddle – the student responsible for my death, but that's a longer story – _killed_ James and his pretty wife, who was Lily Evans. _She_ was a very nice girl who was best friends with Severus. But something happened in their Fifth Year… I think you would call that 'tenth grade'. Lily wouldn't talk to Severus anymore. But Severus… I don't know. It was complicated."

Sydney put an arm around her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind. "It sounds like it would have to have been.

Myrtle furrowed her brows and tried to explain. "Well, Tom became even _more_ evil than he was when I died, and like I said, he killed James and Lily Potter. The whole story is too long for right now, but Sirius and Peter are dead, too."

Sydney peaked his eyebrows. "Bullies deserve to get put in their place, but killing them is a bit much."

She nodded sagely. "Tom was a bigger bully than all of them put together. Even as an adult, he only got worse. I hear they finally did away with him last February. I heard that Danny and... Plasmius were involved."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

Sydney reflected on the fact that the story of what exactly happened might be quite a bit longer and more complicated than he was prepared to deal with. But Myrtle even said that it was too long for right now. "So, what happened to Severus Snape?"

Myrtle smiled brightly. "He's currently the Potions Professor, the Head of House of Slytherin, and he adopted James and Lily's son, Harry Potter. He's also really good friends with Professor Masters, and they both get along with Remus Lupin."

Sydney smirked. "Well, you know what they say: the best revenge is living well. And adopting the orphaned boy of his tormentor… That sounds like the best way I can think of to show that gang who was the better man. And even becoming friends with…"

"No, no, no. I won't have you say a word against Remus. He was a fellow who had a tough time making friends, and James and Sirius – while they tormented other students, they were good friends with Remus. He tried to stop them, sometimes, but he was afraid to lose such friends as he had."

Sydney had quite a time keeping this story straight. "So… Let me see if I got this right. James and Sirius and Peter were the bullies. Remus had a tough way to go, and they were nice to Remus, who unsuccessfully tried to stop them."

Myrtle nodded. "Sometimes. Sometimes he tried harder. Sometimes he tried to discourage them by ignoring their tricks."

Sydney sighed. "It's hard to stop a bully and not become a victim. And Severus was clearly a victim." Reflecting a bit, he realized that someone seemed a bit left out of the story. "So what's up with Peter?"

Myrtle frowned. "He was a bit pathetic, to tell you the truth. He wasn't as clever as Sirius and James, so he laughed at a lot of their pranks. Peter was the kind of bloke to cozy up to the biggest bully around, and hope that by picking on the bullies' victims, and laughing when the bigger bullies were cruel, he hoped he stayed safe from the teasing."

She smacked her leg in frustration. "When he was out of school, he was the same way. He joined Tom, and I hear that Peter passed on the important information Tom used when he found and killed the Potters."

"Whoa."

"Yeah. And I understand that Harry had to deal with his uncle, aunt, and cousin, who were also bullies. Not that Severus was much nicer to him."

"Hey, wait a minute. Then why would Harry and Severus…?" The situation was too complicated, and he lost the thread of who, what, and why.

Myrtle nodded knowingly. "Everything changed last October. Professor Masters and Danny were doing better, and Professor Snape decided to be nicer to Harry. It was a long process – it took all the way from October to February to figure things out. But it all worked out in the end."

Sydney said, "Well, that's all right, then. All's well that ends well."

Myrtle smiled. "You know, Harry's as big a hero to the Wizarding World as Danny is to ghosts."

Sydney raised his eyebrows. "Is he? Maybe you'll explain that later. But… is he the kind of guy to help out the little guy? You know, Danny's helped to save the world, but also to help people in need. At least… That's what I heard."

"You heard right. Danny is the one who said that I'd be happier if I had a mentor. Harry is the one who asked why no one WAS my mentor." Myrtle smiled proudly. "Harry teaches a practical class… Defense against the Dark Arts, and he's really a very patient student teacher."

Sydney lit up as the thought came to him. "Well then, why don't we ask _him_ to conjure a vase for us?"

"That's a great idea. Let's go!" She adjusted the bouquet in one hand, grabbed Sydney's hand in the other, and soared up to the entrance of Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

><p>Harry had just finished a specialized tutoring session with Slytherin. No matter how many times he worked with them in DADA, it never ceased to be vaguely surreal. The same characters who used to give him such a hard time, well… Some of them figured out that he was worthwhile as a person, and as a tutor they admired him. Others grudgingly respected him as a 'mini-Snape.' Harry found the new epithet amusing. But as long as it meant that he wouldn't be ambushed in the dungeons, Harry was for it.<p>

When he got back to Gryffindor Tower, he saw Myrtle and a new ghost who appeared to be a Muggle. He gulped as he thought that this is exactly what Hermione must have encountered the first time she saw Danny in his ghost form. Harry was determined not to repeat Hermione's _faux pas._

He took a breath. "Hi there, Myrtle. Who is your friend?"

She smiled, delighted. "Hi, Harry! This is my friend Sydney Poindexter. I met him at a Christmas party in the Ghost Zone. He knows Danny from Casper High, and everything!"

Sydney peaked his eyebrows and looked around nervously. "B-but Plasmius said not to… to…"

Harry cleared his throat "No worries, Sydney. I know all about Danny – I'm one of the few. Uncle Vlad knows that I know."

"Did you just call Plasmius 'Uncle Vlad'?" Sydney froze in fear and disbelief.

Myrtle covered her mouth with a hand. "Oh, dear."

Harry realized his utterance put this poor ghost into a tailspin, so it was his job to try to calm him down. "Listen, Sydney – it's complicated, but Danny and Professor Masters helped…"

"To defeat Tom, like I told you," Myrtle clarified.

Harry shook his head. "Right. But, hmm. I guess the easier way to do this is… Danny and I became friends. We have a _lot_ in common, including our bizarre but growing relationships to our respective adoptive fathers. I told you it's complicated, and it didn't happen overnight. But yes, I now call Professor Masters 'Uncle Vlad.' What _I_ find weird is that Danny calls Professor Snape 'Uncle Severus,' but we had an interesting Christmas and New Year's celebration."

Sydney put a hand over where his heart used to be. "Thank goodness. Thanks for straightening that out for me. It's never a wise thing to upset… Professor Masters."

Harry tried to keep a straight face. It was all he could do to not laugh in amusement at this poor, nervous ghost. Dad said that Professor Masters was (or maybe still IS, by the way this ghost was reacting) a bit of a villain, and Sydney was having trouble digesting the fact that a serious relationship of mutual affection could happen with Uncle Vlad.

"Danny said as much. But I've seen him in action, both as a ghost and as a human. Uncle Vlad is not a man a person wants to cross. It's good to agree, but something tells me that this discussion isn't the one you mean to be having." Harry thought for a moment. "While I understand that Danny and the professor are special, I have to ask: are you closer to their type of ghost or Myrtle's type?"

Sydney tilted his head. "In what way? Departed from the living or tangible?"

Harry shrugged, glad Sydney gave over his panic. "Either or both. My question was about your tangibility, though."

Sydney nodded. "Yeah. Well, I guess in that way, I'm more like Danny. Which brings me to why we came to see you in the first place."

Harry put a hand on his chest. "You came to see me? Cool, I think. How can I help you?"

Sydney took a deep breath. "Well, you see, Harry, I brought Myrtle a bouquet of flowers, but I didn't take her, ah, situation and difference from me into consideration. I wanted to ask… if you wouldn't mind…"

Harry noticed an almost hunted look in the ghost's eyes. Harry recognized that look from when he had it, rather often when he was in school with Dudley. Sydney was worried that he would reject his request out of hand, and the fear of further teasing was almost palpable.

Harry put a hand on Sydney's shoulder, and realized it felt much like Danny did when he was Phantom. "Sydney, go ahead. Whatever it is, ask me."

Sydney blew a relived breath. "Alrighty then. Could you conjure a vase so Myrtle has somewhere to put her flowers?" Myrtle looked hopeful.

Harry smiled kindly. "Sure thing. Myrtle, what color would you like it to be?"

Myrtle peaked her eyebrows. "Really? Oh! If you could make it Professor Dumbledore's favorite shade of purple, but with a Gryffindor colored ridge at the top of the lip, please?"

With a valiant effort, Harry didn't cringe at the color combination. "Absolutely." He waved his wand and visualized the vase to Myrtle's specifications. When he was finished, the vase stood on the floor between Harry and Myrtle. "There you go. And one more touch." With a quick, whispered _Aguamenti_, the vase was full of water. "But I don't know what to do to make it intangible."

Sydney smiled. "That, Harry, is where I come in." He cracked his knuckles, a very human gesture, which surprised Harry. Sydney picked up the vase and turned it intangible. "Myrtle, if you hang on to it, it'll stay intangible for you. Otherwise, it'll become tangible when I let go."

"Thank you, both of you!" Myrtle put her flowers in the vase and then took the vase from Sydney's hands. "It's perfect!" She put it down and hugged Sydney. Harry crouched down to touch the vase, and now it had that same cold-as-ice-water intangibility as the Hogwarts ghosts did.

"That's a neat power. Can Danny do that, too?"

Both ghosts stared at Harry. Myrtle said, "Of course he can. And lots else, besides."

Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "He doesn't usually show off, so I didn't know. I didn't mean to offend." Harry knew about the intangibility, but this whole, weird interface with the Hogwarts ghosts just never came up.

Sydney and Myrtle smiled at each other and then back at Harry. Sydney gave a half-smile. "Harry, you seem to be more mindful of ghosts' emotions than most humans I encounter."

Harry returned a shy smile. "Danny has that effect on people."

Sydney snickered. "Tell that to the folks in Amity Park." Harry raised an eyebrow, and the ghost realized it was time to change topics. "So, I understand Hogwarts is a boarding school. Care to show me around your Common Room, Myrtle?"

She stammered, "I… but… It's not my… um, it hasn't been my Common Room in over fifty years."

Harry tapped his chin. "You know, I don't know why it wouldn't _still_ be your Common Room. From what I understand, Myrtle, your kind of ghost doesn't _need_ the accommodations found there, but I don't see why you couldn't hang out if you wanted to."

Myrtle stared at Harry with wide eyes. "I… um… Really?"

"Unless you have specific restrictions, or something, but seriously…"

"No, no!" Myrtle protested. "My confinement is to the Hogwarts grounds, and I was told not to bother the students anymore."

Harry raised an eyebrow, thinking of when Myrtle invaded his privacy in the prefect's bath in Fourth Year, chuckled, and smiled gently. "Visiting isn't bothering, if you're civil."

Myrtle's eyes brightened. "Oh, _thank_ you, Harry! I wonder why the Grey Lady never said anything about it, though."

Harry frowned in thought. "Like you, she might not have thought about it. As you know, different people – um, different humans have different reactions to ghosts. I guess if there had to be a choice, the living students who don't have a choice of where to go after curfew get preference. I mean, Danny told me that he's been all over and through parts of the castle I've only seen once or twice in the sub-level dungeons, behind walls, and other places living humans simply couldn't go, or have very little if any access."

Myrtle nodded. "Makes sense."

"So why don't you come in with me?" He smiled as the ghosts looked pleased with the offer, but then he thought of something. "But Sydney, only two others besides me know Danny and Uncle Vlad's secret in here." He murmured to himself, "At least I don't _think_ Ginny knows…"

The three of them came in to see a crowd around Colin Creevey. Ron said, "You know, I've known you a long time, and this is the first time I've really _looked_ at your pictures. These are really good."

The ever chipper Colin grinned. "I'm glad you think so, Ron. Ginny showed me her pictures from when you lot went to the Slytherin victory party, and I was inspired. Seriously – when was the last time, before the game on March 8, have you ever seen Slytherins even _touch_ Gryffindor red and gold, never mind every last one of them wearing it?"

Ron snickered. "Operation 'Make Zach Pay' didn't die – it just…"

"Requires Slytherin subtlety," Ginny supplied. "I don't know if Danny would appreciate it, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I mean, it's not overtly painful or embarrassing to Zach (at least, I don't think so), but anyone paying attention knows…"

Hermione lost patience. "How come people give Zach a hard time but Tracey is given a pass by everyone?"

Colin furrowed his brows. "You'd have to ask the other Slytherins involved." He brightened. "Regardless, these pictures of Slytherins in our Common Room at our victory party are priceless."

"You mean worthless, Colin." The growl came from a party unheard from until now. Cormac McLaggen got up to look at the pictures. "You've got lots of Gryffindors, fine. But what do you think you're doing with these? These are all lousy, stinking Slytherins; that's who they are! Maybe _you've_ forgotten all the cheating, the unfair point advantage, the pranks, the tricks, and every other blasted thing they've ever done to us, but _some_ of us haven't lost our minds."

Colin shrugged uncomfortably. "I haven't forgotten. But sometimes it's worth it to just get along. Danny started a trend. Well, no. Danny did his own thing. Draco seemed to follow his lead, but _Tracey_ started the…"

Cormac swiped his hand at the pictures on the table, sending them to the floor. "Malfoy was a ringleader for over five and a half years. His mindless bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle acted as muscle, so the three of them could get away with whatever. And Fenton! Don't get me started.

"All kinds o' people were makin' a fuss over a prank Smith played on Fenton. No one made this big a deal when they picked on Potter, or you, or anyone of us. But no – it's that _precious Slytherin_ who seems to have Confounded the lot of you."

Ron crossed his arms. "McLaggen, tell us how you _really_ feel. You're just annoyed that Danny, a Slytherin, was present when you didn't make the Quidditch team.

"I've never seen you give a Shrivelfig before about Slytherin pranks against Gryffindors. As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember that two years ago, you were the Gryffindor supplier for the 'Potter Stinks!' badges. So you don't have too much trouble working with Slytherins giving Gryffindors a hard time. And Danny never DID anything to give Gryffindor a hard time."

Dennis Creevey piped up. "No – you just want to pick on Danny, who's a good bloke, as far as I can tell. He _also_ happens to be no bigger than I am."

Harry, Myrtle, and Sydney observed all of this from just inside the entrance to the Common Room, but Sydney had enough. Myrtle might have been adjured to not bother humans, but he wasn't.

Sydney drifted between Colin and Cormac, crossed his arms, and glared at the larger Gryffindor. "I don't know what you think you're playing at." He wanted to rip into this creep for targeting Danny, but Harry said no one knew about Danny, who was pretending to be a wizard. So he tried a different tack.

"What are you doing, bothering this photographer? Everyone _else_ seems to like his pictures. _I_ think you're just picking on him, 'cause he's a little guy."

Everyone but Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared in wonderment at a sight they had never seen: a ghost reprimanded the living for their behavior to each other. What was more, this ghost was in the Common Room. No one present could remember when a Hogwarts ghost entered a Common Room, and Myrtle brought back-up.

Cormac opened and closed his mouth to no good effect for a few seconds. This whole situation was too weird, and his mouth responded before his brain caught up. "Well… What if I am? And…" Whoa – a _ghost_ was challenging him, of all things. "What are you gonna do about it? 'Newly' Headless Nick can't do anything, and I've never seen Moaning Myrtle do anything but cry."

Harry opened his mouth, but Sydney pushed Cormac away from Colin, and Sydney put himself between Myrtle and the hulking idiot called Cormac. "_You_ are nothing more than a bully," the pugnacious ghost announced.

Cormac's eyes flew wide open. "How did you…"

"Bullies should have no quarter." Sydney's eyes flashed red with anger, and all the photos on the floor stacked themselves neatly in his hands. He nodded at Colin. "Here you go."

Cormac's jaw dropped. "But you're a ghost! How can you… How did you…"

"Don't underestimate the little guy, you bully." Sydney was amazed at the bully's reaction – he didn't seem to care about the fact that he was much smaller than McLaggen was; he was more than terrified of a ghost that could touch him.

Myrtle was so proud of Sydney, she put an arm around his waist. "That's right. And you leave Danny alone, or Sydney will deal with you later. Come, Sydney, we've got better people to meet."

Cormac started to stammer, so Sydney continued to use the bully's fear to his advantage. "And don't call Myrtle '_Moaning_ Myrtle' anymore."

"I… I…"

Colin ignored the gibbering McLaggen. "Thanks, Myrtle, and… Sydney, was it?"

Both addressed ghosts beamed at him. Sydney puffed his chest out with pride. "That's what I'm here for, to use my afterlife to stop bullies, like him."

Colin smiled. "Excellent. Do you mind if I take your picture?"

18


	2. Trip to Godric's Hollow

Trip to Godric's Hollow

Any line that is recognizable might have been stolen wholesale from _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ and _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows._

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_, _Harry Potter_, _Hamlet_, _Midsummer Night's Dream_, _Julius Caesar_, _Romeo and Juliet_, _Much Ado About Nothing_, _Star Wars_, _As You Like It_, _King Lear_, _Macbeth_, 'Star Trek', 'Cinderella,' _Peter Pan_, _Treasure Island_, _The Black Stallion_, _Heidi_, _The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe_, _The Little Mermaid_, or 'Snow White and Rose Red.' The books _The Tales of Beedle the Bard _and _A History of Magic_ are part of the Harry Potter universe.

* * *

><p>Dudley came up from the kennels, after filling the dishes and changing the water, to start breakfast. Aunt Marge decided that it was best to take turns making breakfast, and as a birthday treat, she would take not only his birthday, but also the day after. But now, June 22, it was his turn. Between the eggs, bacon, tea, and toast, Harry made this look easy! Dudley's first two times making a scramble, he burned the eggs, and not even Ripper would touch them. Then Dudley remembered – Harry had practice with all aspects of making breakfast since he was seven. Considering how many times he burned himself by splashing oil, Dudley had a whole new respect for his cousin. He wrote Harry a thank you letter as Dudley could truly appreciate his cousin's good cooking.<p>

As he adjusted the flames and chopped the onions he intended to put in the omelet, Dudley thought about the fact that tomorrow would be the first birthday he had without either his parents or Harry. Aunt Marge planned to take him to her favorite restaurant. Cornwall was different than Little Whinging, and… there was just a lot about planning for the day that made him melancholy. Ripper had digestive difficulties, so Dudley's mood wasn't at all attended to.

He realized that, as ignored as he felt, he had it many magnitudes of better than Harry ever did, and this both depressed him and made him feel guilty. Nothing for that, now. Eggs needed to be flipped.

After the initial fuss of moving in with Aunt Marge on March 24, Dudley settled in to do a bit of research. He was interested in the case against his parents. It seemed like everything that his parents did to Harry that was different for Dudley… When it was happening, it felt normal, because that's what they had always done. But during the trial, many things that were normally done were considered vicious acts of mental and physical abuse.

Things like locking Harry in the cupboard – the people in the court were especially disturbed to hear it spoken of as '_his_ cupboard' – during Dudley's birthday parties were standard operating procedure, but it was considered extremely cruel. And the fact that Dudley received an obscene amount of gifts on birthdays or at Christmas while Harry received nothing… And this was before the withholding of food – whether the food under discussion was for meals, snacks, or treats – was addressed. It wasn't pretty, and Dudley recognized that his whole sense of normal and freaky was skewed to the extreme.

So, Dudley made it his personal research project to look up and understand what, precisely, constituted abuse. His school counselors encouraged his project, and gave him all kinds of helpful hints for his edification. They noticed that he abandoned many of his bullying ways, and noticed he put more effort in his boxing than extracurricular mischief, and they were eager to help Dudley maintain this turn of a new page.

After his first two books, he was sick with disgust at all four people with the name Dursley, himself most of all. With all things considered, between Mr. Masters and Mr. Snape, Dudley considered both men remarkably restrained when the situation hadn't devolved to blows.

Ah, the bacon was ready. He made sure that there were at least three portions: one for Aunt Marge, one for himself, and one for Ripper. And he reflected that in either his parents' or Aunt Marge's household, Ripper the _dog_ was treated better than Harry ever was. The levels of how wrong that was disturbed him intensely. Well, _now_ it did.

These emotional revelations and revolutions of his might be more useful if Harry was available to see his change of heart.

He wondered what Harry was up to this week.

* * *

><p>On June 21, Harry watched the carriages pull away from Hogwarts after he said farewell to all of his friends, except Danny. Uncle Vlad decided that using Hogwarts as a home base while sightseeing around Europe was useful for his purposes, and as a professor, it was his prerogative to stay or leave the castle.<p>

Harry asked Danny, "So where are you off to, first?"

Danny smiled. "Well, Papá and I pulled together a list of all the locations mentioned in all the Shakespearean plays we covered. He's going to take me on an official 'Shakespearean tour,' so we can see all the places we discussed."

"Very cool. That would take you… all over Europe, right?"

Danny sighed and ticked each place off on his fingers. "I guess. Denmark and Norway were in _Hamlet_, Greece, particularly Athens and the forest we read about in _Midsummer Night's Dream_, several places in Italy, 'cause of _Julius Caesar_, _Romeo and Juliet_, and _Much Ado About Nothing_. Off the top of my head, I only remember Rome, Florence, Verona, and Padua."

Harry scrunched his face. "Padua?"

Danny smiled. "Yeah. And I only remember _that_ one because it sounds so much like Padawan, or a Jedi's apprentice."

Harry grimaced. "You've got a lot more understanding of the _Star Wars _universe than I do. I would never have cottoned onto the name of a Jedi's apprentice."

Danny sighed sadly. "I've also had a lot more exposure to _Star Wars_. I got to see it as much as I wanted. You kinda got to deal with whatever you overheard from… well, wherever you overheard it from."

Harry frowned, but it wasn't Danny's fault. "That's true. Where else are you going?"

"All over Britain, 'cause _As You Like It_, _King Lear_, and _Macbeth_ mention all kinds of places, and we'll end up in the Globe Theatre and see whatever show they're doing by the time we get there."

Harry considered everything Danny said, and then widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows. "I didn't take you for a jet-setter, Danny."

Looking askance, Danny replied wryly, "I'm not – Papá is. He's been a billionaire for far longer than I've been alive. When he said we were going on a Shakespearean tour, _I_ thought of seeing a show at the Globe Theatre and maybe checking out a museum dedicated to him, or a tour of his house, or theatres he played in during his lifetime, or something." Danny blushed and then shrugged. "He developed really expensive tastes. I was as excited as you were to ride in a limo, 'cause it was also my first time, besides on my way to a funeral. What can I tell you?"

Harry put a hand on the back of his neck. "Right. It's just… a mental disconnect, I guess."

Danny smiled as he recognized that even though he consciously resisted it, Harry developed Danny's own nervous tic. "Yeah. And if that's not weird enough, we're taking his own private plane. AND, he already made sure that we can bring Morph to whatever hotels we'll be staying in. I'm not sure that they were geared for that, but Papá seems to make his own rules."

Harry gave a half-smile. "I've heard it said that it's the Golden Rule: 'He who has the gold makes the rules.' From what you've said, that seems to be Uncle Vlad's MO, but I'm glad that his 'devil-may-care' attitude hasn't rubbed off on you."

"Thanks for that. So… Where are you going?"

"Well… first, we're going home. I'm not sure where that is, yet. And once we're settled, Professor Dumbledore and Dudley will join us when we go to Godric's Hollow, where…"

Danny's eyes widened as Harry blanched when he trailed off. "Harry, what's wrong?" He put a hand on his cousin's arm, halting their progress to the castle.

"Danny, as long as I can remember, I've never had a place I've thought of as _home_ before, besides here. And… I've _never_ been to see my parents before. It's all… kinda…"

The younger boy clasped the older in a hug. "Don't worry about it. It will be okay." They stayed that way until Harry was ready to move on.

Harry was struck with Danny's level of empathy. Ron just wouldn't understand, and get all awkward. Hermione… Harry envisioned that she would try to make Harry 'talk through this.' Danny seemed to just… understand, and Harry appreciated that.

* * *

><p>After lunch, Harry, Severus, and the remaining faculty wished Danny and Vlad a fond farewell as they took Morph and left for their Shakespearean tour. Severus invited Harry to his rooms to discuss their next move.<p>

Harry was surprised that the living quarters were neither as Spartan nor as fine as he might have imagined. Two walls were covered, ceiling to floor, in filled bookshelves. There were both Magical and Muggle authors, and the broken spines of the paperbacks showed they were well read. The coffee and end tables were polished cherry wood, and the chairs and couches were done in greens and blues. Everything was organized, neat and tidy, as he figured anything owned by Severus would be, but it wasn't as sterile as the Dursleys' home was.

Severus bit his tongue, as his first impulse was to ask Harry if his living quarters met what he imagined were Harry's exacting standards. He gulped inaudibly and called his son's attention back from his curious study of his abode, asking, "What are you thinking, Harry?"

Looking the professor in the eyes, Harry answered, "I'm aware of the honor I've been given to be here. Danny told me that in your speech at your September 1 House meeting, you say that no one has permission to even knock on your private door besides the Slytherins and Professor Dumbledore. But I am neither, yet here I am. So… thank you."

"I… you're welcome." Harry had artlessly humbled him once more as Severus was forced to reshuffle his prejudices yet again. "This is my living space during the school year, but now we have to discuss going home."

Harry took a shaky breath. "You know, Dad, of all… One thing I've never had the ability to do is go home." Severus furrowed his brows and opened his mouth in protest, but Harry quelled that by shaking his head. "No, really. I lived at 4 Privet Drive, but it was never home. The Burrow is a great place to go, and I love it there, but it's… as homey a place as it is, it's not my home. Hogwarts has been closer. But I've never had a place…" He was too uncomfortable to finish: 'where he was wanted unconditionally.'

Stepping back, Severus announced, "Home is where your heart is."

Harry shrugged. "Home is where you're always welcome, and they can't throw you out because they don't like you."

"Point. In that case… Home for you is wherever I am." Harry smiled. "But now, we need to discuss location." Severus sat with Harry on the couch and breathed uncomfortably. "As you told the goblins, you have 12 Grimmauld Place."

Harry closed his eyes. "Yeah, we could go there, but… It's mine, I get that. But it's not really home without Sirius." Severus refrained from rolling his eyes, and was surprised when Harry continued. "To be honest, though, it wasn't really home even _with_ Sirius. I mean, it was dark and depressing, and Sirius was never really happy there. He was as much a prisoner there as he was in Azkaban – there were no Dementors, true, but there were no happy memories there, either."

Severus thought of his taunts against Sirius during the '95-'96 school year. The mutt was idle, but besides showing up at the King's Cross station – which he did only to see Harry – and being seen, Black's idleness wasn't entirely his own fault.

"I suppose you're right. But… now that Kreacher's thrilled to work for you, you can have him clean the doxies, dust, decay, and deceased elf heads from the place. It would be a more healthful atmosphere."

Harry winced and rolled his head uncomfortably on his left shoulder. "Yeah, I guess. But, um… how about your place?"

Severus cocked his head. "I beg your pardon?" He tried to gauge Harry's intention.

Harry struggled to find the words he intended. "Well, sir, I realize that Sirius's place is now as much your place as it is mine…" The professor blinked, as that concept didn't cross his mind. He knew it intellectually, as that made up part of his hesitance in asking Harry about adopting him, but he never internalized it. It inexplicably came as a shock when the boy mentioned it.

Harry continued. "But I guess… I was just hoping…" He gazed at his hands in his lap.

Severus was suddenly reminded of something Daniel once said: 'Don't make Harry languish 'cause he can't figure out how to ask…' He snapped his head to attention and asked gently, "What are you hoping? I… promise not to snap at you for being presumptuous. Please ask."

Biting his lower lip, Harry remembered that Professor Snape didn't say things he didn't mean… at least, at the time he said it. "I was kind of hoping I could just move in with you."

Severus jerked his head. It was a perfectly logical request. "I… I'm honored you would ask, Harry. But my home on Spinner's End is in the industrial part of town. It's not the most appealing location, and…"

"Professor," Harry said in a small voice, "is it clean, dry, and wholesome?"

The Potions Master was normally unflappable, but he stood agape as he tried to absorb the possible implications of the question. Further, Harry had reliably called him 'Dad' since February 15. Something about this conversation tripped a trigger for Harry's insecurities such that the boy almost fearfully reverted to formality.

He closed his mouth and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Of course it is, Harry."

"Does the room you'd – theoretically – let me use have… normal furniture? You know, not broken, run-down, or rotting?"

Horrified, the professor refused to let his indignity rise to the surface, mindful of Harry's tight tone. "Of _course_ your room has comfortable, normal furniture."

"Then, whatever it is, it's better than anything I've ever been given by the Dursleys. If it's decent, I'd be honored to call it home. If you want me there."

Snape cursed himself for being an idiot. All this time, he was worried that his humble but presentable home on Spinner's End would be embarrassingly inadequate. And his reluctance made Harry worry – quite understandably, considering his previous experience – that _Harry_ was inadequate.

"Forgive me for being a fool, Harry." The boy lifted his brilliant green eyes, shining with unshed tears, to meet his. Severus grabbed the boy and hugged him tightly. "My home is your home. It's not particularly big or grand, but it was left to me by my parents. Of course your room is fine, and can use a few more… personal touches. I just… please forgive me." Severus sat back on the couch, embracing Harry as the boy's tears soaked through his thick robe. They stayed this way for quite a while.

Once they both calmed down and Harry's breathing returned to normal, Severus pulled back from Harry enough to keep an arm around him and look at him. Taking a deep breath, Severus tried again. "Now that we know of our primary home, I think it would be a good idea to have Kreacher clean up Grimmauld Place. Once it's been properly cleared of Dark hazards, the place would have countless resources. Besides letters and mementos scattered around the house, the library of an ancient family is guaranteed to have books impossible to get elsewhere."

"I guess."

The older man nodded. "And – while it's not high on the priority list, you might put together a list of Black family members you would consider allowing access to the Black ancestral vault, if any."

Harry covered his eyes. "There's so much to do. I don't know where to begin!"

"The first thing to do is to realize that you're not alone anymore. I… know it's relatively new for you, but you now have adults who care for you, who can guide you and help protect your interests. For one thing, your favorite uncle happens to be a billionaire." Harry's eyes widened, as he remembered a few facts and their possible implications. "He knows a few things about managing fortunes like yours. Perhaps when Vlad and Daniel come back from their trip, we'll meet with them, Greldik, and Griphook, and discuss options."

Harry felt a serious weight lift from his shoulders. Since last October, people mentioned that he didn't have to be alone anymore. Now, Harry was beginning to believe it.

Severus felt Harry's heart rate slow to a relaxed speed and had the conversation change pace. "Alright – I have to know. How, in the name of all that is magical, did you get Kreacher to have a serious change of heart? For as long as I've known the wretched elf, he grumbled evil imprecations and insults at anyone Sirius's mother would have disapproved of. Now he serves you with a love that is practically worshipful. What happened?"

Harry covered his mouth and started to giggle. "Oh, _that_. It started when… It's like this. When I came to Grimmauld Place during the summer before Fifth Year, Mrs. Weasley set the lot of us who were too young for the Order to cleaning. Hermione and I found Kreacher's den, and realized that he was hoarding Black family heirlooms, no matter how Dark or otherwise worthless they were.

"Well, last Christmas, I gave him the Black family cake plate. (It's _unbelievable_ to think of what these people put their family crest on.) Anyway… Kreacher was highly appreciative, and he sent me a gift – a rather large package of raw sunflower seeds."

Severus murmured, "That was thoughtful of both of you."

"Yeah. But the whole worshipful thing came a little bit later. See, one of the Horcruxes Professor Dumbledore and I destroyed was the locket of Slytherin."

"Yes – the Headmaster did mention that."

Harry nodded patiently. "Right. The thing is, when Regulus decided to resign from being a Death Eater, he recovered the locket from Tom's hiding place – a cave somewhere along the shore. Regulus's last command to Kreacher was to destroy the locket, and it made the poor elf barmy 'cause he couldn't do it. He literally came undone because he tried everything he could think of but failed his Master Regulus."

Harry's face pinched bitterly. "That no-good, thieving Mundungus Fletcher stole all kinds of things once Sirius, um, died, and we caught him in Hogsmeade."

Severus rubbed small circles on Harry's back. "I do believe Professor Dumbledore has a plan or two in place if that miserable excuse of a life form crawls out from under whatever rock he's currently using into the light of day again. He shall not pilfer your inheritance again."

A shiver shot through Harry. "Thanks, I think. In any event, we took the locket from him, and Professor Dumbledore had me open it with Parseltongue and destroy it with the sword of Gryffindor."

Severus observed, "Between the Basilisk and this locket, it occurs to me that there is some symbolic lesson to be concluded from your usage of the sword of Godric Gryffindor to destroy these items that personally belonged to Salazar Slytherin."

Harry looked his new father in the eyes. "I guess. But the thing is this – when I told Kreacher that I destroyed the locket, fulfilling Regulus's last wish and command, Kreacher became ecstatic."

Severus shook his head in amusement. "That would do it. The fact that you treat elves like people and not as things beneath your notice probably goes a long way to find favor with them, as well."

The boy felt no need to explain that he keenly understood the concept of being made to feel like a 'thing beneath notice.'

The arrival of Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage next to the fireplace made Harry blink and Severus raise his eyebrows. Furrowing his brows for a moment, Harry reasoned, "Well… The elves put the trunks on the train. Whoever has that job knows that I'm not going home that way."

Both wizards took the Floo to the Snapes' residence, coming out in the living room. The walls were completely covered in books, most of which were protected with bindings of black and brown leather. The sofa was severely worn, the armchair only barely less so. A rickety table sat between them – it had seen better days, but it was sound.

Severus said, "Leave your trunk and cage here for now. I'll levitate them to your room shortly." Severus pointed out the library, an office, a half bath, and the kitchen for the ground level.

Once in the kitchen, Severus set up for a simple tea. Harry looked around at the counters, cabinets, stove, and relatively new refrigerator, took note of the location of the dishes, pots, pans, flatware, and glasses, and nodded to himself. "Dad, we can take turns preparing meals, either by day, meal, or something. Once I know where all your stuff is…" He trailed off looking at Severus for confirmation.

Severus widened his eyes and Harry continued. "And whose ever turn it is not to cook will set. Washing goes faster when one washes and one dries. I prefer to wash, though."

The professor was touched, yet again. He hadn't thought of Harry cooking, never mind offering to do it regularly, in rotation. And yet again, he realized that Harry was _not_ spoiled, nor was he prepared to be waited on. "That's perfectly reasonable. We can work out a schedule for breakfast and lunch, and we'll work together on dinner. I prefer to prepare tea, unless I mention otherwise."

Harry smiled. He would _not_ be pressed into service, but there would be a fair distribution of labor, like in a real family. He could get used to this.

Severus pointed out the door to the basement, which was converted to a potions lab, and on the first floor, there were the bedrooms and a full bathroom. True to his word, the room that became Harry's was dry, clean, and sound. There was a bed, a desk with a chair, a set of drawers, and an armoire. Harry recognized this as the room in which a teenaged Severus shot down flies with his wand. He felt honored that Severus would share something this… personal with him.

After unpacking – which took a lot longer, now that he had a lot of well-fitting clothes – Harry joined his new father in the living room. They sat on the couch.

Severus asked, "Is everything to your liking? I realize it can use a few more personal touches, but it's a start."

Harry took a steadying breath. "Thanks, Dad. It's great. I… It used to be your room. I… thank you." He looked up uncomfortably. "Is there anywhere you _don't_ want me to go or look? I know how much it means to you for me to respect your privacy…" Harry blushed, but his gaze was firm.

The professor realized that Harry _did_ apologize for looking in his Pensieve and remembered Severus's violent reaction to the invasion of privacy. Severus _was_ a private man, but what message did he want to send? Having Harry in his life meant giving the boy access to all kinds of things.

The boy asked what he would prefer to be kept private. Was there anything he wanted to keep from Harry? And for what purpose?

Severus frowned in concentration. "I would appreciate it if you knocked before entering my lab and my bedroom. But I meant what I said – my home is your home. I can't foresee any situation for which you would need me and I wouldn't be available, besides a critical stage of brewing a potion."

"Thanks, Dad." So _this_ is what it was like to be home. It would take a little getting used to, but Harry decided he liked the feeling.

The fireplace roared to life with green fire. Both Harry and Severus jumped in surprise, but the face that appeared was filled with happiness. Professor Dumbledore called, "Severus! Harry. Is now a good time?"

Severus looked at Harry, who smiled back. "Now is a fine time, Professor. If you'd care to step through?"

Albus's smile brightened. "Thank you kindly. Please give me a moment." His face disappeared from the fire, and shortly afterwards, he stepped out of the fireplace, dusting off his shoulders. "May I ask… Have you settled in?"

Harry realized the Headmaster's question was directed at him. "We're, um, working on it. But we'll get there, eventually."

Severus rose to greet his employer. "We have a bit of traveling to do, with places to go, people to see. It will take some time to establish a routine, but I'm sure we'll be able to negotiate an equitable settlement on the matter."

The Headmaster nodded to both of his boys. "Speaking of negotiating, I came to ask about timing. How does June 25 sound for our trip to Godric's Hollow? That is this Wednesday."

Harry thought for a second. "That sounds good. I'll have time to send Dudley a birthday card from our new address. And then I can call him…"

The Potions Master narrowed his eyes. "Harry, what brought this on?"

The boy tilted his head. "Well, two things. First, his birthday is this Monday, the 23rd. But what made me think of this is that Dudley asked to come with us."

Professor Dumbledore stood straighter. "Did he? How remarkable."

"Yeah, well… When I call to ask about him getting the card, we can talk about when and where to pick him up. Especially since we aren't going to Aunt Marge's any time in the foreseeable future."

Severus saw that Harry was serious about maintaining his correspondence with his cousin.

Harry asked, "Um… Dad, do you have a telephone?" His father smiled.

"Yes, son. I… followed Vlad's example and took off a Saturday about a month ago to go home and get a phone line set up. It's been over a decade and a half since I've had anyone I might have wished to reach via phone, and even then… we never had one. But now, I do." He shook himself. "I mean, _we_ have a phone."

Harry smiled. Dad worked to incorporate Harry into his head. This would be a learning process for both of them. "Very cool."

Severus was pleased with the boy's reaction to his home. In a particularly charitable and amiable mood, he offered, "Professor, why don't you join us for some tea?"

* * *

><p>On Monday, June 23, the phone rang at 10:00am. Dudley called out, "I'll get it! Hello?"<p>

"Happy birthday, Dud!"

Dudley stood dumbfounded. "Harry? How'd you, uh, get this number?"

Harry snickered. "Easy. I looked up Aunt Marge in the Cornwall phonebook."

"But… how do you, uh…" The large boy was at a loss.

Harry sighed. "What do you need help with?"

"Well… for one, how do you have a phone?"

"Dudley, Dad's father was a Muggle. So Dad grew up in the Muggle World. He had a phone installed."

"But… how do _you_ know how to call?"

What Harry intended to be a pleasant birthday greeting was swiftly becoming painful. "Dudley, I grew up with you. I know how to use a phone."

Dudley grimaced. "Right. There's that. Thanks for the card. But I kinda thought you'd send your owl. It's not like I'm in school, now."

Harry sighed again. "Dudley, _you_ know I'm a wizard. Aunt Marge doesn't. Unlike you and your parents, who I lived with, she has no need to know about the reality of magic. If I sent an owl… Aunt Marge might get a clue that something was up." Personally, Harry didn't think Aunt Marge was bright enough to make that kind of a connection, but she was rather unpredictable that way.

"Sorry, Harry. I didn't think that one through." Dudley wilted. He thought it would be so cool to get a letter by owl.

Harry cleared his throat. "Further, even though I kinda think she's fearless, the last thing I need is another owl scare."

"Point." Dudley winced. It was that 'owl scare' that was the supposed tip-off point that earned Harry one of the harshest punishments his parents ever dealt him. While Aunt Marge had no power over Harry, Dudley could see his cousin's concern about not wanting a reenactment in part or in full of the incident.

Instead, he brought up what was on his mind. "You know, this'll be the first year in my memory that you won't be with me on my birthday."

"Imagine that. This will be the first year in _my_ memory that I won't 'make everything perfect for Dudders' at breakfast, and try to stay out of the way while you assess your ever-increasing mound of gifts as you flaunt the fact that your parents and favorite aunt dote and fawn over you, while everyone reminds me what an inconvenient, unwanted, unloved burden I am."

Sucking air through his teeth, Dudley grimaced as the truth of how badly he, personally, treated his cousin hit home. He was immediately thankful that Mr. Masters didn't care to look for evidence to get _him_ arrested for assault and battery, or whatever else 'Harry's favorite uncle' dreamed up.

"Sorry, Harry. I… never thought about it from your perspective before." Dudley sighed. He felt like he apologized more during this conversation than he did over the 16 years they lived together. "I guess I just… I don't know. I just… wanted to say I miss you."

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really?" He paused for a few seconds to digest this concept. "Thanks for saying so." So Dudley _wanted_ him around on his birthday? Wonders never ceased.

So, to increase the surreal feeling of the moment, Harry asked, "So, Dud, do you have any plans for this Wednesday?"

"Wednesday, the 25th… Nope. We've got nothing going on. What's up?"

Harry stretched as a chill ran up his back. "Well, Professor Dumbledore wants to go to Godric's Hollow then."

"Huh. Then I guess this Wednesday I'll get my most meaningful present yet." Harry blinked, not that Dudley could see it. "So what time are you coming?"

"Ten in the morning is a good time to get started. But Dud, Uncle Vlad was serious about us not going to Aunt Marge's house as long as Ripper's alive, and Dad is in perfect sync with him on this. So…"

"Right," Dudley interrupted. "You know, your professors might appreciate meeting in front of the bookstore two blocks away from… where the bulldog farm meets the rest of civilization. It's… ah… where we left you, that time, when you were six…"

Harry smiled wryly. "Oddly enough, that's the happiest memory I have of visiting Aunt Marge."

Dudley was pained. "It shouldn't have had to be like that."

Harry sighed. "You're right, and thanks for saying so. But the store owner was nice, and he let me read a few books and gave me a drink while others on staff went out to look for you." He decided that Dudley felt guilty enough that Harry didn't need to mention how the shopkeeper was puzzled that the abandoned child didn't feel scared of being alone but was almost blissful as he read in peace. "Is Mr. Miller still there?"

"Yeah." Dudley thought for a moment. "Cornwall is different than Little Whinging."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Without Piers and Gordon, and… A few friends from school live in the neighborhood, but…" Dudley sighed. "It's different. I guess… I got a chance to have a new start. I guess… I've been thinking about the trial, and if I kept on as I was with my gang, I guess I realized how I could turn out. Dad was so proud of how I was becoming just like him… and look how _he_ turned out. I dunno, it's just different."

Harry wasn't sure what to make of his cousin's reflective moments. It was odd to think of Dudley repenting for his past, but the trial of his parents really humbled him. Perhaps with his change in location, Dudley's change of heart would have a chance to flourish.

"It's different where I am, too. I know it is for me, but maybe it's a change for the better for you, too. Listen, Dudley, I've got to go, but I'll see you on Wednesday."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Harry smiled. "Happy birthday, Dud."

* * *

><p>June 25 was a bright summer's day, and Dudley brought the last of the breakfast furnishings to the table. "This is an excellent nosh, Dudley. Between the scramble, the sausage, toast, tea… you've got real talent. I bet your mother taught you everything she knows."<p>

Dudley cleared his throat. "Actually, Aunt Marge, I got the recipe from Harry. He's been writing me since Easter." Marge's face darkened at the mention of Vernon's runt of a nephew. "See, I've never cooked before, and he's had loads of experience."

Marge gulped her tea loudly and exclaimed, "Huh! That good-for-nothing waste of space. I'm sure you've made a mistake. Petunia is an excellent cook. You've got it all from her."

Dudley finished chewing a bite of sausage and cleared his throat. "You're right – Mum was a very good cook. But I'm telling you – I got my recipes and timing and tips from my cousin Harry."

"Impossible! Now stop being contrary, boy."

Dudley knew a losing battle when he saw one, so he shrugged, shoveled a forkful of eggs in his mouth, and thought about the question he wanted to ask. "Aunt Marge, how come you don't like Harry?" His Mum admitted that she was jealous of Aunt Lily, and resented Harry for his magic and everything he represented. Dad hated anything he considered 'freaky' or considered abnormal. Never mind that all of _their_ behavior towards Harry was the epitome of freaky and abnormal… But Aunt Marge knew nothing of Harry's magic.

"Why don't I like Harry? Why, indeed. No one wanted the brat. He was a burden. A burden, I tell you! A criminal, and all that's bad. And his parents… ha! The drunken louts got themselves killed, so that… brat was foist upon your parents."

Dudley frowned, sifting through his aunt's rant. "But how am I different?" Marge almost choked on her toast. "I mean, am I a burden?"

"No, love, of course not! Why would you say such a thing?"

"Well… my parents got themselves arrested, and I was foist on you."

Marge reached across the table and patted his hand. "No, no, my Dudley." Dudley was glad for the table between them, or she'd pinch his cheek again. "No, not at all. That's completely different. Your parents loved and wanted _you_."

Dudley sighed. "Yeah, I know. But once upon a time, Harry's parents loved and wanted _him_."

Marge stood up and walked over to Dudley's side of the table. "But I always loved you." She kissed her nephew on the forehead, ignoring his shudder of disgust. Still, he kept the feelings from showing on his face.

"Thank you. I know. But…" How could he get his point across? He tried again. "Why was it okay to let Ripper bite him?" When Dudley met 'Harry's favorite cousin,' Danny was particularly horrified to hear about what Ripper was permitted to do to Harry, but between his parents and Aunt Marge, someone had to have at least some reason why this blatant abuse should have been excused. No matter how feeble.

Aunt Marge sneered. "The boy was a runt, a ratty, puny thing. And if he was a dog, he would have been drowned at birth."

Dudley couldn't help cringing. That was no answer. Harry never got to eat as much as he liked, and he was often worked harder than his intake of calories allowed for. In short, Harry's diminutive size was all the Dursleys' fault.

Further, he realized how painful it would have been to have someone say that about them. Aunt Marge made sure Harry knew her opinion of him at least once or twice or more an hour of all of their waking hours, every visit. Dudley scooped up some egg to put on his toast, chewed, and swallowed as he thought again.

"You know, I was small, once."

The large woman simpered, "Yeah, you were. You were the cutest little thing I ever beheld. But what's more, you were _never_ as small as that… that beastly creature you call a cousin."

Dudley sighed painfully. It seemed that no reasoning could make his aunt see the injustice of treating him as a favorite child and treating Harry like yesterday's rubbish. He understood that his parents hated Harry because he was magical. It was a lame excuse, but at least it followed a certain logic. Aunt Marge was far worse. She hated Harry, almost passionately, but she had no excuse why – none, whatsoever.

They finished their breakfast in contemplative silence. Dudley brought their dishes to the sink, and he closed his eyes – he never had the decency to do even _that_ much to help his cousin when _he_ did the dishes. He sighed again. "Listen, Aunt Marge, I'm going out for the day."

"Don't forget to pack yourself a snack. Do you need any money for today's activities?"

That was a good question. Before he could answer, she said, "Never mind. Here's a twenty, and don't you let those thoughts of your nasty cousin ruin your day."

With an inauspicious start like that, Dudley thought the day was already ruined. He hoped something was still salvageable. He decided he was grateful that Harry didn't have to deal with living here. Poor Harry!

Escaping to his room for some last minute preparations, Dudley smoothed down his hair. It was the one sincere point of superiority he had over Harry: Dudley's hair did what he made it do.

He looked himself over in the mirror one last time. He hoped… well… what _does_ one wear when visiting a cemetery? It wasn't a funeral, so he wasn't sure black was necessary. Further, he would be going with wizards! What would they expect him to wear? He hoped his sky blue Polo shirt and beige trousers were good enough.

He kissed his Aunt Marge on his way out and headed to the bookstore. After the entrance of those redheaded folks in the summer before their Fourth Year, Dudley had no idea what to expect. He certainly didn't expect what he found.

Mr. Miller from the bookstore was speaking quite animatedly with Professor Dumbledore, who wore a violently purple velvet three-piece suit, with his very long beard braided for the occasion. Both of them smiled at Harry, who rather matched Dudley himself, wearing a green Polo shirt and black slacks. Mr. Snape nodded as part of the conversation, but scanned the passers-by. He was dressed in the same conservative black suit with a white shirt and a black waistcoat that he wore in March, and he kept his arms crossed severely.

"Well, good sirs, that's the boy you're looking for. It was a pleasure to meet you gentlemen, and a delight to see you again, young Harry. I hope to see you again, rather sooner than later."

Professor Snape almost smiled. "I can almost guarantee it, particularly if Harry insists on visiting his Dursley cousin again."

Mr. Miller frowned. "Dursleys. That couple in the news. That lot…" He looked at Dudley, assessingly. "Well, one can't be blamed for who their parents are, but one would hope one can learn from their mistakes, eh?"

Severus cleared his throat. "Indeed. Have a good day, Mr. Miller." With that, the shopkeeper reentered his store.

Harry smiled at his cousin. "Hi, Dudley."

The large boy automatically responded, "Hi." However, he stared blankly.

Severus was fully prepared to take offense from all things Dursley, so he glared. "Is there a problem, Mr. Dursley?" he asked sharply.

Dudley blinked. "Um… The last time I saw…" He stopped to think. The last time he saw Harry and Mr. Snape, they were dressed in dark suits, like Mr. Masters was. "I just thought of those redheads when they came out of our fireplace. They didn't, um… I was just surprised to see all of you wearing normal clothes."

"Of course, Mr. Dursley. In case you've forgotten, the Wizarding World is a secret. If we wore our _normal_ clothes, it would be a bit of a give-away, don't you think?"

Dudley winced. "Yeah." As much as his parents hated magic, they were very much aware of its existence. Unless there were wizards about, the people of Cornwall were not.

Professor Dumbledore smiled jovially. "I'm glad to see you on this remarkable journey, Mr. Dursley. You can imagine my surprise when I learned of your desire to be included."

Dudley looked up. "Yeah. Well… _You_ can imagine a few things happened to change my mind about a lot of things."

The old wizard raised his eyebrows, amused. "Quite right." He rubbed his hands together. "Now we have to decide how to get there."

Severus stated, "The quickest way would be to Apparate. We have the ability, Harry is a month away from getting his license, and one of us could take Mr. Dursley Side-Along."

Dudley sighed. He was ignorant, but he hoped he wouldn't appear to be stupid. "What does it mean, 'to Apparate'?"

Harry answered, "Well, you disappear one place and reappear somewhere else."

Dudley blinked. "Like teleporting?"

All three wizards stared at him. That talent of the half-ghosts wasn't widely known. Dudley crinkled his brows. "What? You know, teleporting. Like in 'Star Trek'."

Harry started laughing – he was amused at how he missed the obvious (rather, it seemed obvious in hindsight) Muggle reference. Danny would have enjoyed the irony.

Attention was brought back to Dudley, who shook his head. "No. I don't think we should… Apparate."

Professor Snape looked askance. "And why not?"

Dudley said, "As cool as it sounds to experience a magical form of travel, I'd like to get there in a… non-magical way." All three wizards turned curious eyes on him. "If I know how to get there, I'd like to be able to get there on my own."

Both professors settled back and Harry raised his eyebrows. Harry murmured, "You're serious about this. It's… a really nice surprise. I just… wow."

Dudley frowned. "It's about time. I've got no good excuse for not, well… From what I can tell, you have something real. I don't know."

The blond boy didn't know how to articulate the idea that the ridiculous over-indulgence he received from his parents and now from Aunt Marge felt… false, since he started thinking about it. He hadn't seen much of Mr. Masters, or even Mr. Snape, but Dudley could tell that the words of praise given to the dark-haired boys were not only heart-felt, but they were probably well-earned.

Dudley knew for a fact that Harry worked hard. Harry's efforts were never good enough for his parents, but he _was_ smart. He _was_ well-mannered, not that any adult Dursley ever acknowledged this.

Dudley also saw that Mr. Snape was quick to criticize, and he used to give Harry a hard time. Dudley could also see that Mr. Snape meant what he said, whatever that might be. So if he said good things about Harry, he honestly meant them.

The large boy sighed. He realized that a word of almost-praise from this man was more impressive than any amount of his mother or Aunt Marge's simpering any day. And Dudley wanted to be a part of that honestly earned… whatever, as much as he really did want to be more involved with his natural cousin, Harry.

And he had no way to verbalize this. He just didn't know how.

Professor Dumbledore noticed the boy's difficulty, but neither master Legilimens acknowledged the boy's dilemma. Instead, Albus offered, "There happens to be a Muggle bus line or two that runs from here to Godric's Hollow."

Harry furrowed his brows for a moment, and then smiled. "Of course! Uncle Remus teaches in a school for Muggles and Squibs. Of course there has to be non-magical transportation there."

Dudley grimaced and peaked his eyebrows. "_Another_ uncle? But how – Harry, we _are_ cousins. How in the world do you have all these extra uncles that I don't know about? I mean, I almost get Mr. Masters, but come on!"

Professor Snape, oddly enough, decided to take pity on the flustered teenager. "Ah, yes. The most comprehensive way to explain this is that Harry's father James had three close friends while they were at school. If all of them would have lived, I'm sure Harry would have called them honorary uncles, by default. I imagine if Lily and Petunia were at all close as adults, you might have referred to them as such as well. But knowing your parents as I do…" Dudley nodded. He understood.

"For personal reasons, none of them – besides Lily – could be considered my favorite person. One of them was completely useless, and is not worth mentioning. One was Harry's godfather, and he was killed towards the end of your Fifth Year. The third, and only surviving close friend of your Uncle James, is Remus Lupin. Harry and Remus have reconnected, and your cousin calls him 'uncle.'

"The Masters are another matter entirely. Have you gotten that, so far?"

Harry was amazed. There was no way _he_ could have verbalized the situation so nicely or neatly. That seemed to take care of it.

Dudley frowned. "I think so, sir. What about that Draco bloke I heard Harry and Danny mention?"

Severus covered his eyes for a moment. This entanglement was primarily Daniel's idea. The boy was a good boy who deserved some happiness in his life, but by Merlin, the situation was difficult to explain. And _he_ was the only one aware of all of the details to be able to explain it.

Severus uncovered his eyes. "Harry and Draco are distantly related via their great-grandparents on James' side of the family. So, you are less related to Draco than Harry is to your Aunt Marge. However. Harry's godfather was a first cousin once removed from Draco.

Snape rolled his eyes. "And since Draco's first cousin is planning on marrying Remus, the whole lot of them are related a lot closer than they might have been."

Dudley's head swam with all of this new information. "Okay. So… Uncle James really is my uncle. Mr. Lupin is kinda Harry's uncle by choice, like Mr. Masters is. But Draco really is a distant cousin, but closer to me than Danny. But… um… Danny is Harry's _favorite_ cousin, and that's 'cause they chose to be. Is that right?"

Severus nodded in satisfaction. Maybe the Dursley boy wasn't as big a dunderhead as he appeared to be.

Dudley scratched his head. "Mr. Snape, if you are Harry's new Dad, does that make you my real uncle?"

The addressed wizard raised his eyebrows. "Perhaps. However, the only child with permission to call me Uncle Severus is Daniel." Severus mentally amended, 'At present. If he truly treats Harry the way a cousin should, I may relent. But I'm making no promises.'

Dudley nodded. "Yes, sir."

Professor Dumbledore smiled gently. "Severus, that is the most peaceably I've ever heard you speak of particularly James and Sirius."

The dark man pursed his lips. "If Harry can honestly forgive his childhood tormentor, surely I can speak peaceably about two dead men who meant the world to my son. And Remus is growing on me."

Dumbledore nodded. "Fair enough. Now let's head out to the bus stop."

Dudley thought of all of this as they made their way to the corner of the block. As they walked, the blond asked Harry, "How do Danny and Mr. Masters fit into all of this?"

Harry answered, "I'm not sure how or when it started, but Danny chose to be related to me. It kind of has something to do with him being a great fellow, but we have a _lot_ in common, not least of which involved our relationship to our respective adopted fathers. Remus, on his own, managed to get closer to Danny and me. He was already close to Uncle Vlad for his own reasons."

Severus thought of his best friend. "By choice, Vlad and I are related to each other. Draco is naturally the nephew of Theodore and Andromeda Tonks. Their daughter, Draco's first cousin, is marrying Remus later this summer. As I explained before, Vlad and Remus have chosen to be uncles to my son Harry. Remus and I both chose to be uncles to Daniel. Both boys – and you, I suppose – will be more closely related to Draco."

Dudley heard the word 'chosen' a few times. "With everyone doing all this choosing, what about me?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Should we choose you? Your parents never chose Harry. And don't even mention Marjorie."

Dudley huffed and announced, "I'm not my parents, and I'm not Aunt Marge. And _you_ gave Harry a tough way to go, too. Yeah, I was hurtful and wrong for way longer, but you are an adult. You should have known better."

The dark man was oddly stung by the boy's words. Dumbledore only added to the pain as he quietly said, "So I have always said, Severus."

Severus narrowed his eyes and studied the large boy. He didn't give a recommendation of himself as much as he gave a rebuke that Severus himself was worse to Harry. He wouldn't admit it to Dursley, but the boy was right.

Snape sighed. "We'll see."

* * *

><p>Once all four of them were on the bus and arranged so that they were facing each other, Severus cast a <em>Muffliato<em>, so that they could speak freely. Professor Dumbledore asked, "Harry, did you get a chance to read the _Tales of Beedle the Bard_?"

Harry smiled. "Yes. Thanks. That was… an interesting look at what wizards usually grow up knowing."

"Who is this Beedle the Bard fellow?" Dudley asked.

Harry said, "From what I can tell, he was kinda like Mother Goose, or the Brothers Grimm, telling fairy tales for children."

"Huh?"

Both professors observed this conversation between the cousins, as this earnest conversation would yield more information than a lengthy interrogation.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "Dudley, do you mean that Aunt Petunia never read to you bedtime stories? You know, like Cinderella, or _Peter Pan_, or something like that?"

Dudley cocked his head. "No. I heard about them in school, but Mum never read those things. They, you know, had magic in them, and you know how they were about magic. Instead, she read stuff like _Treasure Island_ and _The Black Stallion_. She tried to read me _Heidi_, but I thought it was too girlie." He thought for a moment. "How do _you_ know about Cinderella and _Peter Pan_? We never had _those_ at home."

"Actually, we did. Mr. Fitzgerald always gave you books, and he said that 'No boyhood would be complete without reading certain classics.' You never wanted to read them and handed them off to me. That's how I got my first glimpse of _Peter Pan_ and _The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe_. But when it came to stuff like Cinderella, _The Little Mermaid_, Snow White and Rose Red, and stories like that… Whenever I had to sit in the quiet corner in school because you'd gotten me in trouble, I read whatever was there."

Dudley sighed. It seemed like no quarter would grant him relief from his embarrassment today. He had caused so much mischief and blamed it on Harry, it wasn't to be believed.

Severus put an arm around Harry's shoulder. He couldn't really tell off the large boy as he wished, as he hadn't done any better by Harry. How many points had he deducted with little to no cause, and how was that any different than Harry's primary school teacher punishing the boy when his cousin was the miscreant?

Professor Dumbledore cocked his head. "Harry, why don't you know what bedtime stories were read to your cousin?"

Harry looked at his lap and quietly answered, "It was hard to hear the stories told in an upstairs bedroom from my cupboard under the stairs, sir."

The professor sighed as he realized how badly wronged Harry was, since he didn't bother checking up on the poor boy. And Lily's nightly visitations could _not_ be countered with the Dreamless Sleep potion.

Albus cleared his throat. "Just so. Tell me – what is your impression of these Wizarding children stories, and how do you feel they compare to Muggle children stories?"

Harry furrowed his brows in concentration. "Well… in Muggle fairy tales, magic seems to be used to either help the good characters out of an impossibly bad situation, or the bad character uses it to create complications for the good characters. In these Wizarding children stories, people use magic as a matter of course. But either way, the ones who win are the good, kind, compassionate, loyal, or clever."

Dudley took on the same expression. "So… in any of these children's stories, the magic – while there – isn't the important part. The quality of the characters is what makes them work."

Severus raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Five points, Mr. Dursley, for correctly summarizing your cousin's erudite exposition."

Dudley looked stricken until Harry clarified, "Those points are in your favor. Dad liked your answer." Dudley smiled. Any amount of positive emotion from these wizards was a good thing, and the one most likely to hold a harsh grudge against him just gave him five points. He earned house merits so few and far in between that it made Dudley even happier, even though those house points wouldn't count for his house in Smeltings.

Albus smiled. These children were reacting exactly how he hoped. "I'm glad you came to that conclusion. The most important thing is the choices that we make. Even when we've made poor choices, that shouldn't stop us from making better choices when the occasion arises."

Severus raised an eyebrow at his employer. "Professor?" The dark man had given countless speeches on the topic and couldn't fathom the old man's point.

Professor Dumbledore chuckled. "I promise you that you'll see the relevance soon. But I _was_ curious about how Harry processed the stories from both worlds.

"Harry, what did you think of the 'Tale of the Three Brothers'?"

Harry settled more comfortably as he leaned against his father. "It's an interesting morality tale, and the moral is that we can't cheat death. One day, we'll all get there, and no amount of magic will keep it from happening. The best we can hope for is to live a long and prosperous life before… going on to that next great adventure." Dumbledore beamed as Harry repeated his own words.

Severus enjoyed the ease with which his son expressed himself on non-essential matters. The light-hearted carefree tone was not one he was familiar with. Harry enjoyed his time with the Weasleys, but Severus noticed that even though he was freer, Harry weighed his words. Ronald was his friend, but he was undependable. There were many reasons Severus would have preferred Daniel as a companion for his son than Ron.

But here, as with Vlad and Daniel, and Remus (now that he thought about it), Harry felt free to be himself. This was an attitude Severus would attempt to have his son recreate as often as he was able.

Dudley shrugged a shoulder. "I haven't read it. What's the story?"

Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Will you tell the story, Harry?"

"Sure. Three brothers, who were powerful wizards, went walking. When they came to a treacherous river, they used their magic to make a bridge to cross it. When they were halfway across, they were met by… the personification of Death. Most people died when they tried to cross this river, so Death kinda felt cheated." Dudley snickered.

Harry continued. "Death offered the three brothers a reward for their cleverness for defeating him (well, so far). The oldest was arrogant, and asked for a powerful wand that, if used in a duel, couldn't be beat."

Dudley's eyebrows shot up. "The wand? I thought the power was in the people. I mean, if the power was in the wand, I don't see why _I_ couldn't use one."

Severus didn't show his surprise at Dudley's cogent reasoning. "Well-spoken, Mr. Dursley. Normally, you are correct. But the way of wands and wizards is a bit more complex. It is said that 'the wand chooses the wizard.' There is a… compatibility between a wizard and his wand. With enough skill, any wizard could use any wand, but he gets the best results from his own wand. Over time, wands build allegiances with their wizards. The complete theory is deep wand lore that is only truly understood by wand makers.

"But for the purposes of this story, the idea is that the wand in question – once its allegiance was won – would give a supreme advantage to its user. That's another five points for good logic." Dudley beamed.

Harry nodded. "So Death gave him a wand as his reward. The second brother wanted to be spiteful, and asked for something to call people back from the dead."

Dudley whispered, "Magic can't _really_ do that, can it? I mean, if it could, you'd have your parents back a long time ago."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Are you going to let your cousin tell the story or not?"

Dudley winced. "Sorry, sir. Go on, Harry."

"The third brother, who was more humble, asked for something to hide him from Death for a while. The story says that Death gave the brother his own Invisibility Cloak."

Dudley pursed his lips and nodded. "Cool."

"The brothers got where they were going, and they went their separate ways. The oldest brother took his special new wand and found his long-time enemy. They had a duel and the brother killed him. That brother was so arrogant that he went to an inn, and got drunk, and bragged about having this undefeatable wand. Well, his bragging made someone jealous, and when the brother fell asleep in a drunken stupor, the jealous bloke stole the wand and slit his throat. Apparently, the brother forgot that mundane methods for killing people might not have been covered by owning the wand. And so, Death collected the first brother."

Dudley shook his head. "The idiot," he murmured.

"The second brother went home alone. The girl he wanted to marry died, so he used the stone to call her up. Like you guessed, Dudley, she wasn't alive. She was more like a seriously intense ghost. When the second brother realized that his love was still dead, he killed himself to join her. And so Death collected the second brother."

Dudley scrunched his nose. "I never understood the whole 'Romeo and Juliet' thing. I mean, dude – get over yourself. There are more girls out there."

Severus bit back a comment. He wanted to say that he understood the position of the second brother; after all, he wanted to die when Lily was killed. Well, until Albus told him that Severus's death would be monumentally useless. Dudley's reaction was a far healthier response.

Harry shrugged. "I guess when you feel no one loves you, you've got a serious uphill battle with despair. But I don't get the whole 'my love is dead so I should die, too' thing, either.

"Anyway, the third brother wasn't out to defeat or cheat Death. He only wanted to stall for a while. He wore his Invisibility Cloak regularly off and on, and Death never found him. When the third brother lived a good, long life, he gave the cloak to his son. Death found him, and they went off together as friends. To that next great adventure, huh?"

The headmaster smiled, and his eyes twinkled. "Precisely."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Was there a point to this retelling, Professor?"

"Oh, yes. Quite. Believe it or not, we _are_ getting there."

Professor Snape shook his head. He hated when the old man was cryptic with him. But he would explain things in his own way, no matter how infuriating the meander took to get there.

Albus looked at the three young men before him. "Now, let us suppose – for a moment – that the items in the story were real."

Severus decided that this was too much. "Headmaster, you're taking your flight of fancy too far. It is a ridiculous children's story. The fact that lunatic wizards over the centuries actually _looked_ for these items does _not_ make them more real."

The headmaster sobered into seriousness. "Perhaps, but indulge me for a few moments more. I assure you that when we complete this exercise, even you will be satisfied and quite a bit surprised with the results."

Severus crossed arms and drummed his fingers. He refused to dignify that statement with a response.

Albus began again. "So, let us say, for the moment, that these possessions of the brothers were real. If you could own one, which would it be?"

The Potions Master rolled his eyes, but noticed that both boys' eyes glazed over in concentration. Logic games were fine, sharpened one's critical thinking skills, and took up the time for mundane travel quite effectively. Well… Fine. He would only indulge this foolishness because of its entertainment value.

Dudley said, "Well… If I had the ability to use any of the three things, and I knew how to use them… I'd want the unbeatable wand. I know a thing or two about self-defense, and that kind of power sounds cool. But you know, I think I'd have more sense than that wizard in the story who bragged about it." Albus smiled. "But… Of the three things, that sounds like it has the most power, and if you can keep quiet about it, more power is better, right?"

The headmaster tilted his head. "Many wizards have thought so."

Severus stared off in his own thoughts. "I would choose the stone. I know it would only be temporary, but there are a few people I would like to see and speak to once more, before simply allowing both them and me to rest in peace on the matter."

Harry nodded. "I get that. There are a few people I'd like a chance to see. But if I had a choice… well, _now_ that I have a father who is here and loves me… I'd like the cloak. I want a chance to hold off Death for a while." Harry closed his eyes and thought wistfully of the words spoken to him while he was 'mostly dead.' "I could wait until I see great-grandkids. That would be nice."

Albus breathed, "Remarkable!"

Severus frowned at him and turning to his son, he raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Harry shrugged. "Now that I don't have to worry about whether I'll live to see the end of another school year," Albus winced, "I can afford to have long-term dreams."

His father nodded. "Fair enough."

While they absorbed this set of revelations, and before anyone thought to ask about Dumbledore's thoughts on the matter, the headmaster beamed. "We're here!"

* * *

><p>The bus let out in the Village Square. Severus murmured, "This cozy little village… I wouldn't have thought it to be James' style, though it could be a useful hideaway. Lily, however, would have been endlessly charmed by such a place."<p>

Albus put a hand on the younger wizard's shoulder. "You are right. The larger Potter Estate is elsewhere, and that is where generations of Potters entertained all manners of family, friends, and acquaintances. But the home here where Harry was born was meant to be an idyllic getaway, a place to retire from the busy hustle and bustle and politics of the Wizarding World, to enjoy the simple interactions with Muggle neighbors."

Harry looked up at him with many questions in his eyes, but Albus settled his eyes unseeingly on the cemetery's kissing gate. "Ironic, that. More generations of witches and wizards lay in that churchyard than said Muggle neighbors. I imagine that the quiet, peaceful interaction between wizards and Muggles is something that Godric Gryffindor would have approved of, especially in this small village named for him."

Dudley considered the old man's words. He didn't know who this Godric fellow was, but he was important enough to awe both his cousin and Mr. Snape. The concept that Harry had a _whole estate_ elsewhere left him confused. If that was true, then…

Dudley shook his head. If his parents knew of money that was held for Harry, they wouldn't have treated Harry any better. They would have gotten Dudley bigger, more expensive gifts, and his father would have gotten bigger, more expensive cars, and they would have gone on more exotic, more expensive vacations, while Harry still would have been stuck in batty old Mrs. Figg's house, still wearing Dudley's old cast-offs.

Maybe it was better that no one knew of Harry's great wealth until now.

All of a sudden, Harry wasn't ready to face the cemetery. It was something he looked forward to since it was mentioned, and especially since March, when Dad turned it from a pipe dream into reality. But now… He wasn't sure why he was hesitant, but he decided he just wasn't ready. He cast about, looking for something, anything, else of interest.

Harry pointed to an obelisk covered in names. "That looks like a war memorial. If this village is that old, which war would that be commemorating?"

Before either Severus or Albus could say anything, Dudley came close. "It looks like it's from World War II. It's got the names of people from this village who fell in Her Majesty's service during the war. I wonder if you're related to any of them?"

Harry glanced back at Dumbledore for confirmation and then shrugged. "I have no idea. I was eleven before I discovered anything about my father's family beyond the lies I've been told since I was ordered not to ask questions. Let's get a closer look."

Halfway across the square the three wizards stopped, frozen. "No way," whispered Harry.

Severus blinked, dumbfounded. "I never remember James looking so good. But Lily…" Albus nodded sadly.

Dudley noticed that he was the only one who got close enough to the memorial to read the individual names. He turned to see Harry and Mr. Snape in tears, and the professor wore a grave expression.

He furrowed his brows. "Look – I get that World War II forced all kinds of emotions, but you haven't even come close enough to find out if Harry's grandfather or great-grandfather was involved. What's wrong with you?"

Severus narrowed his eyes as he formulated a scathing remark, when Harry recognized the problem. "Dad, when Mum's parents took her to Diagon Alley, what had to happen for them to see it like you and Mum did?"

Severus quickly raised his eyebrows as he recognized the problem, and he gave no hint that he was mildly embarrassed for not having come up with it on his own. "When Lily held her parents' hands, they had no problem seeing the entrance."

Harry nodded. "Dudley, come back here for a moment."

Dudley gave him a sidelong glance. "Why?"

"Just trust me on this." Dudley walked back to them, confused. "Watch the memorial." Harry put his hand on Dudley's shoulder.

"Whoa. How… But… What did you just do?"

"I gave you the ability to see 'what's wrong with us.' It's a bit breathtaking."

Dudley decided that understatement was one more of his cousin's amazing talents. Instead of an obelisk covered in names, there was a statue of three people: a man with untidy hair and glasses, a woman with long hair and a kind, pretty face, and a baby boy sitting in his mother's arms.

Harry looked very much like the statue of the man. Dudley worked it out. "That's supposed to be you and your parents, right?"

Severus was running out of patience, and he wondered at the wisdom of bringing _that_ boy on this trip. "Very good, Mr. Dursley. You get no points for stating the obvious."

Dudley took a breath, as he wanted to object, but he thought better of it. Instead, he asked, "Why? It's kinda cool that Uncle James and Aunt Lily and you as a baby are up there, but they don't put impressive statues in the public square of just anybody. And most people can't even see it!"

Albus answered. "As I commissioned it, I wanted to capture the tranquility of the family as it last was. They gave their lives to save Harry's, and between the three of them, they defeated Voldemort on Halloween in 1981."

Severus narrowed his eyes, full of suspicion. "Where did the money come from to pay for all of this? This is a rather large, very magical memorial, and Harry didn't know of its existence until now."

The headmaster raised his eyebrows. He wasn't sure why his Potions Master turned on him like this. "It came from the Gringotts account that I opened when there was an outpouring of emotion and financial contributions to memorialize the day that Voldemort was defeated. But I couldn't simply leave a statue in the middle of the square. The Muggles might recognize their neighbors, but they would have no understanding of the significance.

"So, I used the knowledge I had of which of our neighbors had fallen between dealing with the Second World War, and the victims of Gellert Grindelwald. It fittingly satisfied everyone living in Godric's Hollow."

Harry turned to him. "_Our_ neighbors? That means…" He took a deep breath. "You live here, too?"

Albus smiled sadly. "I do, indeed, Harry. My family had lived here since we left Mould-in-the-Wold. My mother Kendra and sister Ariana are only two rows away from your parents."

Harry stared as Albus chuckled. "Sometimes it can be hard to envision that someone as old as I am was once a child with parents and siblings. My only living family member is my brother, Aberforth. I'm sure you've met him – he's the barman at the Hog's Head." Harry blinked and Albus continued. "My story, and all the ignominious details, shall be for another day. But for now, the fact that we were neighbors is enough to go on."

Severus frowned. "Ignominious? But you defeated Grindelwald. Granted, you've made mistakes, but really, Professor…"

The twinkle in Albus's eyes was absent as he sighed. "I've made _many_ mistakes, full of poor judgment. Let's say that my ideas 'for the greater good', if taken to their logical conclusion, would not have been nearly as good as I once would have thought.

"But enough about me. Today is a day for learning about Harry's – and consequently yours and Dudley's – family."

Harry took the handkerchief offered by Professor Snape and wiped his eyes. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

Severus put a comforting hand on his shoulder and directed him into the cemetery.

When Harry lost contact with him, Dudley gasped as the statue disappeared and turned into the war memorial. He ran his fingers over the engraved names that, only a moment ago, were completely absent. "Wicked!" he breathed. Then he ran to catch up to the group.

Walking into the cemetery with his father's hand on his shoulder, Harry moved towards the nearest grave. "Look at this, it's an Abbott, could be some long-lost relation of Hannah's!"

Albus nodded. "It was. There are a few families who lived here, or elsewhere, and added to their family plots. Your family, Harry, has been here for close to a thousand years."

Harry jerked his head. "Huh?"

"I've done a bit of research."

Dudley shook his head. "Wait a minute. I get that Harry's father's family was old. You've said so before. But Potter is a common last name. I mean, people who have no money, no relatives, or whatever, are buried someplace called Potter's Field. And it had to have been a common enough profession. So, how do you know that all _these_ Potters are related to Harry and Uncle James?"

Severus raised his eyebrows. "Another discerning question. Wonders never cease." Dudley blushed. He couldn't make out if he'd been complimented or insulted. "So, Professor, do you have the answer for us?"

Dumbledore stood still for a moment. "As far as British surnames go, Potter is about as common as Smith, for much the same reason. But wizards tend to prefer Latinesque sounding names, or other names that would sound unusual to the uninitiated ear. The Potter name goes back far enough that it was good enough for the Black family." Both Severus and Harry jumped.

Dudley shook his head. "What?"

Severus forgot to sneer in his surprise. "The Black family, the Ancient and Noble House of Black, has been rather stuck on its pureblood lineage for centuries. Narcissa Malfoy – Draco's mother – once mentioned that besides the connection to 'the Boy Who Lived,' it was worthwhile for Draco to get to know Harry because Draco's great-grandfather's sister was married to a Charlus Potter. The fact that the relationship was allowed means that the Potters were purebloods for a lot longer than that."

Dumbledore smiled enigmatically as they moved forward. This time, Dudley was the one who exclaimed, "Look, I found the name Dumbledore, Professor!"

They gathered around the granite stone. The name KENDRA DUMBLEDORE was printed, and below her birth and death dates was the addition 'AND HER DAUGHTER ARIANA', with Ariana's birth and death dates. Beneath this was the inscription, 'Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.'

Albus closed his eyes, and tears fell from them. Severus gathered the boys a bit away from the old wizard to give him a moment of privacy.

Harry looked, not at his headmaster, but at the stone. He said quietly, "I think Professor Dumbledore thinks a lot about his mother and sister. If that's what it means – where your treasure is. Maybe his sister was his treasure. I wonder, though, how come the professor doesn't seem to be closer to… Aberforth."

Severus was at a loss. "I don't know, Harry. Perhaps we can ask him at a later time. But being here together now is an intimate situation. Notice – the Headmaster is not here with Hannah Abbott, but with you. With Dudley and me as well, but I believe that we are only here for the ride and emotional support."

"But why me?" Harry persisted.

"I have the feeling we'll find out soon enough."

Professor Dumbledore concluded his private moment by waving his wand, and making a wreath of yellow roses appear. He placed it tenderly in front of the headstone, kissed his hand and touched the stone. When he approached the younger trio, he said, "Thank you. It has been far too long since I was last here. I was rather overdue." He wiped his eyes with a handkerchief.

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat. "And now, we'll move on to the star attraction of the day." Just two rows behind Kendra and Ariana's stone was the headstone of Harry's parents. It was made of white marble, which reflected the summer sunlight, but the engravings made it easy to read. No one needed to kneel or approach very close to it to make out the words.

JAMES POTTER * LILY POTTER

BORN 27 MARCH 1960 * BORN 30 JANUARY 1960

DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981 * DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981

_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death._

Harry traced his fingers over the sentence as he murmured it to himself. "But… I don't understand. That's… that's a Death Eater message. Why would someone…" He trailed off, tears spilling down his face.

Albus put an arm around Harry's shoulders. "No, Harry. I see why you would say so, but… remember when you… were out and spoke to your parents and Sirius?" Harry nodded.

Dudley opened his mouth to ask about this, but Severus viciously grasped his wrist, hissing, "Not now!" Dudley sucked in his lips and nodded. As much as he wanted to connect with Uncle James and Aunt Lily, this was Harry's time.

Albus continued. "You knew they were dead, but you also understood that at least part of them lived on, even as their bodies lay here, correct?" Harry gulped hard and nodded. "Perhaps it is a tribute to a religious sentiment. But as long as they are remembered, they live on. They, their sacrifice, their memory. As long as that remains, the idea of their death is destroyed. The enemy who brought them death has been vanquished by the very idea. In effect, the enemy – Voldemort – is death. And therefore…"

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death," Harry whispered. Albus nodded. "Can… can you give me a few moments to myself, please?"

Professor Dumbledore hugged Harry close for a moment. Holding the boy's shoulders at arm's length, he said, "Of course, Harry. Take as long as you need." He stepped back to come closer to Severus and Dudley, as Harry softly murmured his thoughts to his loved ones.

Dudley watched as Harry visited his parents for the first time in his life. Based on the statue outside the cemetery, and the gleaming white stone, it was obvious that somebody cared a _lot_ about Harry's parents. If that major statue was paid for by funds from people who sent donations out of love, then it was more than obvious that all kinds of people loved the Potters.

Dudley couldn't take his eyes from his cousin or the stone, but he asked, "Professor Dumbledore, it's clear to me that Harry's parents, and Harry, meant an awful lot to all kinds of people. If that's true, how come Harry got stuck with us?" He was careful not to say it his parents' way. From what he could tell, the Dursleys were given the honor of having Harry that they seriously didn't appreciate. Harry was given the raw part of the deal.

Severus longed to verbally tear the boy to shreds, but he decided that he wanted to know the answer himself. He also couldn't take his eyes from his son, or his parents' stone. He had never been here before, and didn't realize how much looking at the stone that declared his love's death would affect him.

He cleared his throat. "Yes, Albus, I'd like to know why, of _all_ the people who loved them, or would grow to love them, why Harry was stuck with his magic-hating aunt and that abomination of humanity who was his uncle."

The headmaster was very much aware of the fact that Severus dropped all titles and honorifics. The young man was angry and demanded an answer.

Dumbledore sighed. "To be honest, my reasoning was two-fold. First of all, I remember how close Lily and Petunia once were, and I thought that blood was thicker than water. I thought that all difficulties could be overcome, and that Petunia would raise Harry as her own son. I realize that _wasn't_ what happened, but I knew that if the situation were reversed, Dudley would have been as loved as Harry was by the Potters. It was a wrong assumption, but I truly thought it was for the best."

"And the other reason?" Severus forced through gritted teeth.

Albus closed his eyes. "Had I considered other options, my first choice would have been Remus Lupin, and you understand the difficulty he would have had until the specific potion was invented that would have helped him along. As for anyone else… Most of the Wizarding World would have ignored the fact that Harry was simply a boy. So many would be in awe of the Boy Who Lived, he would have been treated like a celebrity, a side-show. While the Weasleys were able to recognize Harry as merely a boy, I didn't think anyone else would have been able to see past Harry's wealth and fame. I wanted him to be raised as a normal boy, not a gold mine, available to the highest bidder."

Severus spat, "I would have."

The headmaster adjusted his glasses. "You will forgive me, but coming from a man who tormented the lad mercilessly for his first five years of Hogwarts for the crime of _looking_ like his father, you will appreciate that I don't take that comment of yours as seriously as you would like."

The dark man closed his eyes. "Professor, if _I_ was consulted anywhere along the way _before_ Harry was eleven, I would have reminded you what Petunia was like over the course of our time in Hogwarts. If _I_ was approached, and reminded that the toddler was Lily's child as much as he was Potter's, I would have raised him as my own, not allowing the Boy Who Lived nonsense get to his head."

"Which it never did, Severus," Albus said dryly.

"There would have been no impetus for me to form the wrong opinion of what he was like or how he was raised, as I would have known precisely how he was raised."

Dudley looked away from Harry and at both of the adults. "I don't believe you. You hated Harry for as dumb a reason as my parents hated Harry. I think it's your guilt talking, not anything sincere."

Severus stormed, "How dare you!"

Dudley shrugged. "You know, Harry was cooking since he was seven, and big enough to reach the stove with a step-stool. The way Harry described Potions, your class, it's kinda like more detailed cooking. He could-a loved your class, and been aces at it. But it sounds like you spent more time takin' it outta him than recognizing him for who he was, whatever that might have been.

"Yeah, I see that I've been a right prat to him. I've been workin' through that since those demento-thingies showed up in the summer before our Fifth Year, and I've been in overdrive to fix myself since March. But as I've said, I was just a spoiled kid tryin' to make my Dad proud. You're an adult, and a teacher. I've heard of teachers getting sacked for doing what you've done to Harry.

"If anything, I would say how dare _you_ pretend to act all righteous, when you've only recognized that Harry was a person worth _treating_ like a person since last October?"

Severus had nothing to say in response. The boy was right.

The three of them stood, watching, waiting for Harry, but each of the three of them had grievously harmed the boy Severus had come to love as a son. Harry was worth so much more, but as Dudley said, the boy was stuck with them.

At least Severus had the distinction of being chosen by Harry. It was a small victory, but one nonetheless.

Finally, Harry backed away, wiped his face with the handkerchief Severus provided him with earlier, and thought of the Transfiguration spells that would have been necessary to make a wreath. Then he remembered he was still not of age and sighed sadly. Severus saw him and created a wreath of red roses.

Harry smiled gently. "Thanks, Dad." He turned back to the stone, and put the wreath on the grave. "Okay, Mum, Dad. I'll come back another time, but I'm glad to have been here today."

He took Severus's hand. "Thanks, Dad. This was… important."

Rallying all of his many emotions together, Severus answered collectedly, "Yes, son. It was." He looked up at his employer. "What's next on your to-do list, Professor?"

Albus smiled, and the twinkle returned to his eyes. "After our visit here, we might call on Remus Lupin, and ask him to show us the school where he teaches. We might visit Bathilda Bagshot."

Harry perked up. "That's the author of _A History of Magic_."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "You remembered. I'm impressed," he said sincerely.

Harry thought for a moment. "Could we also go see the house?"

Severus cocked his head. "Harry?"

Harry gulped. "You know, the house – or what's left of it – that was under the Fidelius Charm? Maybe there is more left to it than…" He shrugged. He didn't feel like reminding anyone else that he vividly remembered the image of Voldemort killing his mother.

His father understood. "Yes, Harry. If you like."

Dudley now had two serious questions that he hoped to have answered later. One was all about this 'life after death' discussion, and one on this house Harry wanted to see.

The headmaster smiled again. "We can go to see any and all of these places, once we leave here. But I think that, before we leave, I give you the satisfaction of knowing why I brought up the 'Tale of the Three Brothers'." All three of the others turned to him, and he knew he held their attention more closely than he held attention just before a feast.

"As it happens, the three brothers in the story are real people, as are the three items mentioned in the story."

Dudley jerked his head. "No way!"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Indeed?"

Albus nodded. "I assure you, it is true. Whether the Elder Wand was plucked and fashioned by Death, or the Resurrection Stone was pulled by Death from the riverbed, or the wonderful Invisibility Cloak was Death's own or not is immaterial. The germane point is that the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone, and the seemingly eternal Invisibility Cloak are indeed real."

Severus looked askance. Albus continued. "The three brothers were Antioch, Cadmus, and Ignotus Peverell."

Harry gasped. "You told me to remind you about the name Peverell!"

"That's right. Very good, Harry. Now, Antioch was the oldest. As a braggart who was far more combative than was good for him, he never had children. The wand has a very bloody history, as such power was desired by all kinds of Dark Wizards."

Harry asked, "Even Voldemort?"

"Yes, Harry. Tom desired the wand, but didn't know where to begin looking. But the fact is that the last Dark wizard to get hold of Antioch's Elder Wand was Gellert Grindelwald."

Harry nodded. "I imagine that you disarmed him." He looked up sharply. "_You_ have it! You have the Elder Wand!"

Albus smiled. "I do, indeed. And you three are the first and only people who know about it since Gellert Grindelwald was sentenced to life imprisonment in Nurmengard."

"Nurmengard? It sounds an awful lot like Nuremberg. It's not all that original, if you ask me," scoffed Dudley.

Dumbledore tilted his head in acknowledgement – it sounded like something Danny Fenton-Masters might have said. "Perhaps. But Nurmengard is the name of the Wizarding prison on the Continent. Azkaban is the name of the one used for all of Britain's wizard criminals."

"Azkaban sounds a lot like Alcatraz," Dudley murmured.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Is there a particular reason you're so familiar with names of prisons, Mr. Dursley?"

Dudley shrugged. "I did a project on it for school."

Harry studied his cousin and was very curious about what type of project would spur this kind of research. And then he remembered that Dudley's parents were _in_ prison. That might have gotten Dudley interested in more on the topic.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Cadmus was the second brother. Perhaps a child was born out of wedlock, or perhaps Beedle the Bard dramatized the story by having the young woman die before marriage, but the stone had passed down through family lines." There was silence as everyone tried to absorb all of this. "You have seen the stone, Harry."

Harry thought for a moment. "That ring! The Resurrection Stone of Cadmus Peverell was in Tom's family. He made it into a Horcrux."

Albus nodded. "He did. And the stone will forever be split, as it had to be when I destroyed the Horcrux."

Dudley thought, 'Make that three questions. What's a Horcrux?'

The headmaster walked back a few rows. "And here lies the third brother, Ignotus Peverell."

Something clicked in Severus's head. "Considering that James used his Invisibility Cloak in his time in Hogwarts, and it still works for Harry…"

Dudley gaped. "Harry has an Invisibility Cloak?"

Severus ignored him. "Research shows that Demiguise-hair Invisibility Cloaks – the primary source for such cloaks – would have worn out and become opaque by now. Therefore… Harry, I believe that you are the proud owner of the Invisibility Cloak and direct heir of Ignotus Peverell."

"I…" Harry was speechless. Before today, he knew next to nothing about his family. As of today, he discovered that the Potters were pureblooded enough to marry into the Black family without getting blasted off the family tree. But he also now knew that he had connections identifiable historically that were hundreds of years old. (He knew that everyone was descended from someone, or they wouldn't be here today. But being able to identify someone that far back in one's ancestry was rather cool.)

Severus frowned. "It appears that Tom Riddle and my son are distantly related as many numbered cousins, by way of Cadmus and Ignotus Peverell. Are they both from the same line as Salazar Slytherin?"

Professor Dumbledore furrowed his brows. "Of this, I can't be sure. Marvolo Gaunt was obsessed with purity of blood, and his Slytherin ancestry. But there were centuries-worth of generations to have married into the family. Thus, descending from Salazar Slytherin is not necessarily synonymous with being descended from the Brothers Peverell."

Dudley wandered off, exploring the names and dates on the various stones. Some were far better preserved than others, so it was a bit of an adventure.

Albus smiled again at Harry. "I'm sure your ancestor Ignotus would have approved of your choice of these gifts when you thought they were entirely imaginary."

"I guess." Harry was still overwhelmed by all of this history. "Professor, I see that between you and me, we have the three possessions of the Brothers Peverell. And while it's cool to not only own a piece of history, it's cool to be a part of a legend that is kind of thought of as a fictional fairy tale. But something tells me that there is something more significant about these things, or you wouldn't have made such a mystery out of it."

"You are right again, Harry. It was once thought that whoever could master these three items could conquer death. These three items said to have been possessions of Death are spoken of as the Deathly Hallows."

"Okay."

"I don't know that the possession of anything makes one the master of death, but if one has the presence of mind to own these things and overcome the temptation each of them offers, one could easily be considered the master of himself, and that is a feat in and of itself."

Severus tapped his chin. "I wonder what it says of you, that you had the Stone in your possession, but you didn't use it. Or did you?"

Albus sighed. "No, Severus, I didn't use it, though I was sorely tempted."

A shout came from about twelve rows down. "Harry! Professors! You have to see this!"

Harry ran to Dudley to see what all the fuss was about. When he saw what Dudley found, he flagged Severus and Professor Dumbledore with his arms. The older men hurried to see what had so excited the boys.

The eyes of both professors widened as they read the stone Dudley called to their attention.

Deborah Potter

Wife of Joshua Potter

Daugher of Godric Gryffindor

The dates were rubbed out, but the names were clear enough.

Severus put his arms around Harry and kissed the top of his head. "You may or may not be the Heir of Gryffindor, but now we know how far back your family goes. And while I wouldn't have objected - for obvious reasons - unless you learn of an intermarriage we haven't heard of, this rather puts paid to the theory of you being the Heir of Slytherin, doesn't it?"

38


	3. Danny's Doctor Visit, Part I

Danny's Doctor Visit, Part I: The Gathering

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_, _Harry Potter_, _Midsummer Night's Dream_, _Peter Pan_, or CaelumFelis's "Walk Three Worlds" (the story wherein Godric's Hollow Secondary School and Headmaster David Solomon were invented and introduced).

For the record, Don Rabbi Dr. Mitchell Serels was knighted by the King of Spain on December 4, 1996, for his extensive work to reconcile Sephardic Jews to Spain, as many Sephardic Jews maintain a historic bitterness against the country for the expulsion of Jews from Spain in 1492. Among his many accomplishments, he served as a Rabbi and professor in Yeshiva University, in New York, until he retired.

* * *

><p>After a wonderfully edifying Shakespearean tour that took the half-ghosts all over Norway, Denmark, Italy, Greece, and Britain, they took one of the 'official' tours that took them everywhere the Ministry of Tourism would bring them to see in London.<p>

On Friday, July 11, as ghosts, they took a very _unofficial_ tour of the Tower of London, where the ghosts made much of them. Visiting the Tower of London as a ghost was a rather different experience than visiting as a human. The ghost princes who were children saddened them, even as the children remained playful.

When they returned to the hotel, Danny curled up in a chair and hugged his knees.

Vlad put an arm around the suddenly subdued boy. "Daniel, what's wrong? I can't imagine more of a celebration of your presence when we were in the Tower than if you would have been in the royal family."

Danny sighed. "We had a great time, and I can't thank you enough for all you've done. But… all of those ghosts we saw weren't like us. They were all from people who were killed, for one reason or another. And… I don't know. I just want to go home."

"But Daniel…"

"I know that no one is there now, but in ten days, it'll be a year. I just…" He trailed off, but his tears spoke poignantly when his words failed him.

Vlad knelt in front of him and hugged him tightly. "Of course. On Wednesday, we'll head back to America. I have some business that needs to be attended to, and we can go visiting. I'm sure Ida Manson, the Greys, and the Foleys would love to see you. Of course we can visit the cemeteries…"

"And I'd also like to visit Aunt Alicia. It _has_ been a long time since I've seen her. I mean, I know I had to stay safe in Hogwarts, but still, it's almost a full year since I last saw her."

Vlad looked askance. "Your point is…?"

Danny shrugged a shoulder. "I know Aunt Alicia isn't the most social person, but she doesn't have Mom anymore. I know we don't either, but we have each other and the wizards. I don't know who Aunt Alicia has left."

Vlad sighed. "Then I'll see what we can do." Danny flashed him a half-smile.

Vlad furrowed his brows and put a hand over his mouth in thought. "Let's see. The Weasley wedding is on August 1, the Lupin wedding is on August 10. Sometime after that, I expect that we'll spend time with the Lovegoods, the Longbottoms, your favorite uncle and Harry. I've planned a lovely honeymoon for the Lupins. Draco, your SATs… Ah, yes. I haven't planned all the details, but we'll be quite busy during the month of August.

"That's why we'll take this weekend to go to the Ghost Zone and get your medical exam."

Danny jerked his head and lowered his legs. "What? But why? Besides being a little sad, I'm feeling just fine."

Vlad smiled; he knew this reaction was coming. "You know, when most students go to a boarding school, they usually have to undergo a complete medical physical exam. Last year, there were extenuating circumstances, but honestly. It's about time."

The teen thought over the man's words. "You just want to bring me to the Far Frozen 'cause they'll give me an even bigger reception than the ghosts in the Tower of London did!"

Vlad tilted his head. "I won't lie to you, son. That is a serious added benefit for my amusement. However, I _am_ concerned about your growth and development. No other doctors I know of would even begin to understand your issues, not even Madam Pomfrey."

Danny scowled. "What issues are you talking about?"

"My little badger, you are sixteen, but you are no bigger or more fully developed than you were at thirteen."

"How do you know? You didn't know me then," Danny stated argumentatively.

Vlad sighed. "My dear boy, I did discuss a few things with your parents while I was in Amity Park during the Ghost King fiasco."

Danny thought for a moment. "You… when we used to fight all the time, you made fun of me for lots of things, but being short was never one of them."

Vlad sighed again, as he recognized some of his regrets. "I chided you for your inexperience and made comments to undermine your confidence in your competence. If there was anything about you that I thought would be better if you looked up to me, I made sure to point it out as a shortcoming. That way, you would recognize how much better off you'd be if you were with me.

"But your height and your physical development – how could I criticize what nature hadn't seen fit to bless you with? If I couldn't improve upon it, what would be the point in calling attention to it? To be honest, I thought it a point in your favor that you physically took after your mother and not your father. But at this point…" He shook his head.

"Daniel, even though a growth spurt might even come as late as next year, not a whisker has appeared above your lip or under your chin. And while I'm fond of your treble voice, it should have deepened somewhat. You should now be at least a tenor instead of a soprano."

Danny scrunched his nose. "I didn't think I sang often enough for that to make a difference."

Vlad stood up and began to pace. "It's not a question of musical ability, dear boy, but of the pitch and timbre of your voice. Puberty brings all types of changes, and I have yet to see one sign."

Danny narrowed his eyes. "Maybe there _are_ signs that you just can't see!"

Vlad blinked. "Valid point. If you don't mind my asking, though… are there?"

The boy pursed his lips, so Vlad asked gently, "It's not a personal failing, and it doesn't make you less of a person if the answer is negative."

Danny lowered his eyes and whispered, "No."

Bringing another chair closer to Danny's, and sitting close to the boy, Vlad said, "Listen to me. While you are perfectly charming and adorable as you are…"

"Papá, do you mind? I don't want anyone but a girl to think of me as 'adorable,' thank you very much."

"Unfortunately for you, you are what you are, and you _are_ adorable." Danny huffed. "Be that as it may, you may one day wish to be married and have children."

Becoming perfectly sober so that Danny understood he was not teasing him, Vlad took one of Danny's hands. "While there is nothing wrong with adopting, it would be good to know that you have the ability to produce offspring of your own."

Danny hung his head. While it was weird beyond description to be having this conversation, he couldn't think of any one else _at all_ who might even have answers if Danny actually had questions.

Peeking up through his bangs, Danny asked, "Did becoming half-ghost change _your_ development?"

Vlad paused to think. "Emotionally? Quite possibly. Since my emotional meltdown over your paper on _Midsummer Night's Dream_, I realized that desiring the hand of a happily married woman _eighteen years_ after the fact was not only morally abhorrent, it was ridiculously immature." He made a face as if he bit a lemon. "Daniel, it isn't normal for a man in his forties to have a _teenager_ for a _rival_. Oddly enough, it took us fighting Voldemort for me to figure that out."

He sighed. "But physically? I'd long since finished puberty before I started college. There was nothing left for me to physically develop but muscle tone."

Danny shook his head. "Now that you put it that way… I don't know. I never really thought about it before. I mean… I don't want my body to be fourteen forever." He quirked his lips upward in a not-quite smile. "I realize that we're in London, and I can fly, but I don't really want to be Peter Pan."

Vlad laughed. "Especially now that we know fairies are real. But seriously now, that's why we need to get a check-up for you."

Danny nodded. "I can see that. Okay."

Tapping his chin, Vlad offered, "I don't remember if I told you, but Remus now has a teaching job in Godric's Hollow."

"Yeah. Uncle Remus is going to be teaching astronomy and biology."

"It's been a very long time since he studied biology from a purely Muggle perspective, if ever."

Danny brightened. "Then Uncle Remus can come with us! The people of the Far Frozen are amazing scientists, and maybe they can share their knowledge with him. I can't see someone like Uncle Remus needing more than a refresher course, though."

"My thoughts exactly, my boy. And it occurs to me that Severus would get a kick out of meeting Frostbite."

Danny nodded. "Uncle Severus would enjoy… Wait a minute! That would mean that Uncle Remus, Uncle Severus, _and_ Harry would be coming along to _my_ doctor appointment. Aren't these things supposed to be private?"

Vlad smirked. "Yes, they are. But honestly, you've brought your friends Samantha and Tucker into the Ghost Zone on countless occasions. True, their main purpose for coming at the time was either to help or save you. Would you truly deny access to people who would probably appreciate the experience far more, on a peaceful fact finding mission? Remus would get his biology refresher, Severus might learn how to prepare any vitamins or medications that you… come to think of it, he could learn to prepare any supplements or medications either one of us might need. While I'm more than capable and practiced at producing such things, he will have far greater access to a lab during the school year to prepare them.

"And you wouldn't leave out your favorite cousin, would you?"

Danny closed his eyes and smacked his head. "Alright, alright! You win! All these people are coming with us to the Far Frozen." Vlad nodded smugly and Danny growled. "You know, it's not going to be like when we brought Uncle Severus to your…"

"Our," Vlad corrected.

"Right. To our (really?) home in Wisconsin. It's called the Far Frozen for a reason. Even if they used all their winter gear with warming charms, it still wouldn't be warm enough."

"That's why you will open a portal and we'll take them to your parents' lab. You can show off a bit, and either you or I could fly us all in the Specter Speeder."

Danny processed what Vlad had said. "How do you know the name 'Specter Speeder'?"

Vlad sighed. It was fun to throw Daniel off-kilter once in a while, but he pushed the boy rather far. He was already emotionally delicate because it was so close to the anniversary of his family's death, and while it was amusing to have fun at his expense, there was a line between light-hearted teasing and vicious harassment. It was time to relieve some tension.

Vlad said quietly, "Last November, I raided the patent office. I quickly became familiar with the names and functions of _all_ of your parents' inventions."

Danny winced. "Right. You did tell me about that, but… Papá, some of those inventions could be really useful. Mom and Dad should get credit for their inventions."

Vlad smiled gently. "Of course they should. And they did. While I took all the pertinent pieces of information that describe how to make them, and how to make them function, I left the names of the inventions, the completed pictures of the inventions, and the patent numbers, and – of course – the names of the inventors.

"These inventions and weapons are rightfully _your_ property, son. But I don't want them to be made available to the public until if and when you choose to do so. And since every one of these things works, I wouldn't want it to be possible to access them publicly, until you are capable of defeating them. However, there is no solution for the Thermos or," he winced, "Weasel."

Danny was thoroughly touched. He never realized how… thoughtful Vlad was when he put that operation together. He got up and hugged Vlad tightly. "Thanks again, Papá."

As they embraced, Vlad smiled over Danny's shoulder. Daniel was safe, comforted, loved, and didn't have a clue about how amused Vlad would be once all three British citizens reacted to Daniel's titles and how Daniel was treated by the people who bestowed said titles.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Danny and Vlad sat on a couch, having figured out the logistics of how this should happen. Vlad leaned on his armrest, crossed legs languidly, and called Severus from his cell phone.<p>

Harry answered, "Hello?"

"Good afternoon, dear Harry. This is Vlad. Is your father available?"

It took Harry a second to process the moment. "Uncle Vlad? It's good to hear from you. Where are you calling from?"

Vlad smiled. He hadn't intended to confuse Harry, but he was amused to have done so. The boy knew that both half-ghosts were Muggles, but he only really dealt with them in a context of being with wizards. So receiving a phone call, while in and of itself was nothing out of the ordinary, created a bit of a cognitive dissonance.

"We're in a room at the Ritz in London. We've had a lovely set of tours. I look forward to sharing all kinds of details with you later, but it's rather important for me to talk to Severus now."

Harry smiled. He wondered how Danny took to the VIP treatment that seemed to be a matter of course for Uncle Vlad. "Give me a moment. I'll get him for you."

He ran to the office. "Dad, Uncle Vlad is on the phone."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "He is, is he? Tell him I'll be right there." Setting aside his lesson plans for next semester, he left the office and came to the living room, where the phone was. "Good day to you, Vlad. What brings you to call me this afternoon?"

Vlad smiled. "Daniel and I have finished our first bout of sightseeing. But I remembered that you showed an interest when I mentioned bringing Daniel to his ghostly pediatrician."

Severus sat straight. "I am." There was _so_ much to learn about ghosts, his favorite nephew and best friend in particular.

"Very well. We need a place to meet you, Harry, and Remus."

"Ah, yes. Remus. I had almost forgotten."

Vlad was amused. "I did not. While we've kept up a regular correspondence, I have no way to contact him immediately. He doesn't have a phone, that I'm aware of, and I can't use the Floo, for obvious reasons."

"Right. This will be quite an adventure for the lot of us. When did you wish to get started?"

Vlad thought for a moment. "In about an hour or two, if we can all corral ourselves in a relatively inconspicuous place."

"Considering the fact that you're calling me, I assume you are in a Muggle location. Harry and I… have a couple of homes that I recently found out about, but the place we choose to call home at this time is also in a Muggle neighborhood."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "A couple of homes?"

Severus almost smirked. "Between the Potter inheritance and the Black inheritance, young Harry is possibly one of the wealthiest young men in the Wizarding World. I know he has at least two rather impressive estates. Considering how well connected I've discovered my son to be… I assume he has far more than that." Vlad raised his eyebrows, not that Severus could see. "At some point, perhaps in late August, I'd like to schedule an appointment with you and a few goblins at Gringotts, and discuss estate management."

"Indeed. I would be honored to help Harry in any way I can, and managing finances is one of my specialties."

"I rather thought you might. But for some reason, despite all of these resources, my son prefers (at present) my rather modest family home. It isn't much, but it was left to me by my parents. It gives him a true sense of home, something you know he was never given before."

"Interesting. Then I should like to see it at some time."

"I beg your pardon!"

Vlad sighed. "I mean no harm, Severus. I would have been interested to visit your home in any event. But I am especially curious to see the very hard earned home my favorite nephew has acquired. All the money in the world can't buy happiness. Ask me how I know." Severus snorted. "But love can make all that you have so much more fulfilling." Vlad closed his eyes wistfully. "Maddie taught me that."

Severus paused for a few moments, allowing his friend to gather his thoughts. Clearing his throat, Severus picked up the thread of the conversation. "As I said, both you and I are in Muggle neighborhoods. The quickest and easiest place to reach almost immediately rather inconspicuously is Hogwarts."

Vlad smiled. "Fair enough. Where should we meet?"

"My office should suffice. I'll Floo Lupin and unless he's in the middle of something, we should be there in an hour."

Vlad smirked. This was all going according to his plan. "I expect the trip to last a few days, so be sure to pack at least a day bag. Further, the location of our ultimate goal is the Far Frozen. Be sure to pack winter wear for… an Arctic adventure."

Ultimate goal? Severus thought that whatever plans his friend had… He couldn't fathom what Vlad had planned, but if the last time they ventured into the Ghost Zone was any indication, it would be interesting, to say the least.

* * *

><p>When the phone call ended, Severus was in a rare, playful mood. "Harry."<p>

Harry looked up from his seat at the far end of the living room. He moved away to give his father a bit more privacy during his call with Uncle Vlad, but not so much that he couldn't hear the louder portions of the conversation.

"Yes, Dad?"

"Come closer and pay attention. I think you may appreciate this." Harry took a seat on a couch closer to Severus's chair and looked on curiously as Severus grabbed a handful of Floo power. "Remus!"

It took about fifteen seconds before the addressed werewolf's face appeared in the fireplace. "Severus. Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine. Please step through to my home in Spinner's End."

Raising his eyebrows, Remus said, "Sure thing." Shortly after, he gracefully stepped into the living room. "Thank you for inviting me to your home. This is a rather unexpected honor."

"Come and have a seat. We have much to discuss."

Remus looked around the cozy living room and smiled. "Hello, Harry."

"Hey, Uncle Remus." Harry got up and hugged him, and the three of them found seats clumped close together.

Severus smiled. "So, Remus, how are your preparations coming along?"

Remus beamed. "There are so many great things going on! Vlad purchased tuxedos for Ted, Draco, and me. Dora wouldn't let me see her dress, as both she and Andromeda explained that this is standard operating procedure. I imagine that both of you will receive your tuxedos relatively soon." Severus raised his eyebrows. He knew that Vlad had Harry's measurements, but he didn't remember giving him his own.

Severus rolled his eyes as he realized that Vlad could have invisibly riffled through Madam Malkin's files, and no one would have been wiser or aware. He sighed. It didn't matter, in any event. "That's good to know. I'll thank him."

Remus shook his head and smiled at his good fortune. "I have never owned such an expensive outfit in my life!"

Severus smirked. "Not even the dress robes for James and Lily's wedding?"

"Not even those. Andromeda and Ted are thrilled, as Vlad refurbished and booked the same church they were married in. The reception is to be in the ballroom of any five star hotel my love will name, either Muggle or magical. Dora is so happy that she cried. The wedding is in one month, and her dreams are coming true."

Harry cocked his head. "What about your dreams?"

Remus put an arm around Harry's shoulder. "The fact that I am marrying a lady I love more than life itself is my dream come true. Everything else is bonus."

The werewolf sighed happily. "We have a week long honeymoon planned in Monaco, and we should be home in time for the full moon. I'll have a day to recover, and on August 20, I'll start the sessions for Muggle-born and Muggle-raised Hogwarts First Years and their parents and caretakers. It should be Wednesday to Friday, and then Monday through Friday the following week. Between Charity, Filius, Pomona, Andromeda, and I, we intend to give various lectures on everything from money and owl post to leisure and luxury, and to possible magical career choices, or possibly enhancing Muggle career choices, throughout that stretch of time."

Harry breathed, "Wicked! This type of thing would have been dead useful before _my_ first year."

"I know. If this goes the way I've planned it, we'll continue to do this for many years to come."

Severus nodded. "And your preparation for your classes in Godric's Hollow?"

"Well, my lesson plans are ready. I have student rosters, and I even have a list of prospective students for my special, extra curricular class."

"It sounds like you're reasonably prepared. Do you have a way to reach your students' parents if you need to set up a parent/teacher conference?"

Remus's face fell. "I… hadn't thought about that. Headmaster Solomon fire called me, but I hadn't…" He threw his hands up. "Arg… With all of this time that I'll be spending around Muggles and Squibs, I can't believe that it never occurred to me."

Severus added a little salt to the man's wounded pride. "You know who _else_ cannot contact you in a more immediate fashion? The gentleman who is financing your wedding. Such contact might be useful if there are any snags or last minute details to be discussed."

Remus covered his eyes in frustration. Harry sighed. Dad had enough fun at his uncle's expense. "Uncle Moony, it's not a big deal. Depending on where you live, you can get a phone installed, or if not, you can get a cell phone." He rolled his eyes in… he wasn't sure which emotion he had for Severus for the moment, but it wasn't a nice one. "I'm sure Dad will have _no_ problem telling you how to go about getting that done."

Severus's dark eyes twinkled in wicked delight. "Oh, I will. Make no mistake about that. The only thing we need to worry about is timing."

Both Harry and Remus looked at him – there was something important that Severus hadn't said, and it appeared as though the man would enjoy telling them.

"You see, Vlad just called me. He would like the three of us packed and ready for a trip that will last a few days."

Remus shot him a sidelong glance. "Oh?"

"Indeed. And be sure to pack for the severe cold."

Harry furrowed his brows. "Are we going to Antarctica?" Where else would be that cold this time of year?

Severus smiled genuinely. "Ten points for good logic, but no. We have been invited to come and meet Daniel's new pediatrician."

Harry frowned in confusion, but Remus lit up with glee. "Harry, we've been invited to spend some time in the Ghost Zone."

Harry blinked. "Really?"

Remus nodded. "I have no idea how we'll get there, but somewhere in the Ghost Zone…"

Harry thought it would be fun to explore a whole new… Well, Danny described it as an alternate dimension. Then he remembered something else Danny said. "But Danny said that many ghosts from the Ghost Zone didn't like him."

Severus thought about the titles that Daniel was given, and said, "While that may be true, that won't be a problem with the particular ghosts we'll be meeting." He smiled as his son and Remus looked thoughtful.

Harry shook his head, clearing the dottle. "The only way we _could_ get there is if Danny and Uncle Vlad took us."

Remus smiled. "I suppose you're right. In a section of the Ghost Zone peopled with yeti-like ghosts…"

"Yeti-like ghosts?"

Severus smirked. "I've been made to understand that they have a human-compatible sentience, not unlike your mostly human friends and relations." Both Harry and Remus blushed. "And they are probably the only people in creation that understand enough about half-ghost biology to be effective physicians for Daniel."

Remus nodded. "Vlad hinted that their medical facilities are advanced beyond description."

"And this section of the Ghost Zone is called the Far Frozen. I'm rather curious to see that all by itself, as the Ghost Zone has no natural sunlight." This brought Severus up short. "To be honest, I'm not sure the words 'natural' and 'ghost' belong in the same sentence."

Harry tilted his head. "You said I was close when I thought we were going on an expedition to Antarctica. Does wizard clothing protect against that kind of cold? If not, we'll have to go to a Muggle sporting goods store or camping supply store."

Severus wasn't sure if he wanted to be smug about being the first to know or efficient because of the time limit. He sighed and settled on efficient. "We won't have time for that. We should consider that for a repeat visit. But for now, I suggest bringing gloves and Transfiguring standard winter cloaks, but it makes more sense to hold off the Transfiguration until we're closer to our destination. I'm not quite sure of all that Vlad has planned, but he mentioned that the Far Frozen was our 'ultimate destination,' so we have time."

Remus tried to process this. "You said we don't have time. What is our time frame?"

"Vlad would like to meet us in my Hogwarts office about 5:00."

"But that's under an hour."

Severus smiled. "Then I suggest you start packing. You have the password for my office Floo."

Remus sighed. "Very well. I'll see you soon."

* * *

><p>At ten minutes to five, Severus looked up when he heard knocking on his office door. "Come in!"<p>

Severus, Remus, and Harry were bemused to see that Vlad and Danny were burdened with nothing but the cat carrier and a bag containing cat care needs. Severus nodded at the half-ghosts. "It's good to see you again, Vlad and Daniel." Everyone present exchanged handshakes or hugs, as seemed appropriate. "As we head towards the Hufflepuff corridor, I'm sure you will enlighten us to the reason you are both unencumbered with anything but the equipment to care for your cat."

Vlad smirked. "Considering that our journey will primarily take us to the Ghost Zone, Daniel and I will expend far less energy in our ghost forms. Once _in_ our ghost forms, our… costumes are largely ectoplasmic emanations…"

"That _can_ be torn, Papá," Danny reminded him.

Vlad released a frustrated, noisy breath as he tried to explain their ghostly garments. They had so many extraordinary properties that the logic behind them defied description. But he would put forth the effort to describe the clothes, even if the logic was beyond him.

"True." He grimaced in concentration. "Our clothes, as ghosts, are largely emanations of our imaginations, like more of a localized Room of Requirement – the only limitations to our clothes and _accoutrements_ are our personal perceptions of self. But there seems to be a settling of self image such that it almost forms a… standard uniform, of sorts." He shook his head, knowing that his detailed description didn't even come close to a complete explanation. Two decades of having this as part of his biology didn't help him come closer to explaining the reasoning behind it.

Harry made a face. "How does that even work?"

Danny thought for a second. "Harry, in all the time that you know him, have you ever seen Sir Nicholas in different clothes?"

Harry blinked. "Uh, no."

"Why do you think that might be?"

"Well… He's a ghost, and ghosts don't really change."

Danny nodded. "Right. And Papá and I are…" He rolled a hand in a repetitive circle, waiting for Harry to supply the answer.

It came to him suddenly. "Ghosts. So, when you're in ghost form, you don't have to really change."

Vlad smiled. "Very good, Harry."

The boy sighed. "It's hard to remember sometimes. You're…" Harry made a frustrated noise as he sought the right wording. "You just seem so human that it's easy to forget that your aren't really."

Severus caught his son's hand as they walked. "On a day-to-day basis, there is no occasion to bring this fact to mind. The actual difference between us is only relevant on specialized occasions, such as this."

Remus smiled quietly, thinking that it would be nice if more people thought this way about werewolves. But since Severus's apology in March, Remus noticed that Snape was closer to thinking this way, perhaps about even him.

When they reached the Hufflepuff corridor, Harry looked around. "So, where is this portal?"

At that moment, the four House Ghosts and Myrtle glided through the wall, and they caught Sir Nicholas saying, "Yes, well, visiting the Tower of London is a very different experience for living witches and wizards. But ghosts are almost always welcome to visit, especially after official tourist hours are over. Myrtle, my dear, it was clever of you to make the connection between Guy Fawkes to the name of the Headmaster's phoenix. Professor Dumbledore named him after…"

He blinked at the sight of the collection of folks. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. The Queen and the princes send their fondest regards, Sir Danny."

Remus and Harry chorused, "_Sir_ Danny?" Danny peaked his eyebrows.

Severus raised an elegant eyebrow. "Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth sends regards to Daniel? While I've come to discover that almost anything is possible when it comes to either Harry or Daniel, I don't see…"

Sir Nicholas laughed heartily. "No, no, Professor. I referred to Queen Anne Boleyn. Sir Danny and Vlad were quite the pair on their ghostly tour of the Tower of London. The tour is significantly different for the living than for ghosts. Our very own…"

Remus cleared his throat. "Sir Nicholas, that's twice now that you've called Danny 'Sir Danny.' Why have you done so?"

Myrtle snickered. " 'Cause it's Danny's title."

Harry stared off for a second. Looking back at the assembled ghosts, he said, "Look – I realize how very much you like Danny. He's a very good fellow, but is all that… a good cause to invent a title?"

The Bloody Baron frowned. "It is _not_ an invented title, but one duly earned and granted by royalty."

Remus knitted his brows in concentration. "But by who and when? Vlad, you told me that Denmark and Norway were part of your tour, as well as many locations all over Britain. But I hadn't heard anything in the news that would have been noteworthy for a knighthood."

Vlad shook his head in amusement. "Of course not. Daniel received both of his titles over a year ago. One was even closer to two years, at this point."

Harry closed his eyes. "Multiple titles? Uncle Vlad, I don't know much about it except from what I've gathered from primary school and from Aunt Petunia's gossip, but conferment of titles comes with a lot of pomp and circumstance and celebration. I can't remember hearing much about Americans receiving titles since… well, since that American Rabbi was knighted by the King of Spain last December. Hermione mentioned it once we got back from Christmas break."

Danny blinked. "What?"

Harry sighed. "Maybe it's an American thing not to pay attention to such things."

Myrtle giggled. "No, no, no, sillies. We met the princess who knighted Danny in the Ghost Zone at the Christmas party. Princess Dora, from the Kingdom of Aragon…"

"Principality of Aragon, love," the Grey Lady corrected.

Myrtle was undeterred. "Right. But Princess Dora isn't a former princess. She really is the active princess of the Aragon section of the Ghost Zone!"

Danny covered his eyes. He could tell this would be a long afternoon.

Severus took pity on the lad, as he was aware that they hadn't begun to cover all of Daniel's honors, and discussing the reasoning behind such things would take even longer. "Right. Be that as it may, we have a journey to take, and although I'm unfamiliar with the marking of time in the Ghost Zone, it isn't getting any earlier."

Harry shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs. He thought of Severus's earlier comment about 'no natural sunlight,' and came to a conclusion. "When were you in the Ghost Zone, Dad?" Remus raised his eyebrows, as he wanted to hear the answer as well.

Severus sighed contentedly. "On January 25, we left the Slytherin Quidditch victory party early so we could attend an interview Vlad and Daniel needed to complete the adoption process. We traveled to the Masters' Wisconsin home via the Ghost Zone. That is how I knew where the Hogwarts portal is."

He observed the half-ghosts. "Even though you carry no luggage containing your own clothes, I don't see how you would carry us with whatever else you have."

Remus closed his eyes. He imagined that what Severus said might make sense, but he couldn't see how or why. Since none of the ghosts commented on this, he guessed that this was a point that would become clear in due course.

Harry opened his mouth to object, as he knew that by Easter break, Danny could carry four tons easily, and Uncle Vlad could carry twice that, but Severus got there first. "Harry, it isn't a matter of weight. I think you might be uncomfortable if, say, Daniel used the same arm to hold you and your rucksack as the hand holding Morph's carrying case – for over half an hour."

Harry didn't know how to respond to that.

Vlad smirked smugly. "Then isn't it good that we're not using Hogwarts' natural portal? Daniel, if you'll be so good…"

Danny smiled. He knew this part was coming. It was a harmless prank, if somewhat disorienting for those not in the know. He stepped back and gestured to a space in the open hall. A portal filled with green light appeared in the place he gestured to.

The Friar's jaw dropped. "May the heavens bless you, child! Danny, this is a power beyond description! You never mentioned this one before."

"It never came up," Danny answered modestly.

Remus nodded to himself. Vlad had mentioned a few of his and Danny's powers that went above and beyond the average for ghosts of their sort. It never ceased to amaze him to see the variety and range of these powers. They didn't comply with the rules of physics, chemistry, biology, magic… There didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to what these powers were, or even why they might manifest for one ghost and not another. Still, he was glad to see the House Ghosts as confused as he was at seeing this one.

He asked, "Danny, where does it lead?" There was a green membrane of sorts that shielded what lay beyond from visibility.

Giving a half-smile, Danny said, "The living room of Fenton Works, my family home in Amity Park. I don't remember the state the lab was left in, and I wouldn't want anyone to trip over anything."

Vlad lifted an eyebrow. "Or potentially set off any anti-ghost equipment."

"Yeah. That, too."

Severus sighed. "If you intended to have Daniel open a portal, it could have been done in my office. Why did you let me think you were using the portal here?"

"You never asked. You led our merry band here without asking my intentions. Further, this turned out to be far more fun."

Harry frowned. "But… besides the portal Danny just opened, I don't see what you are talking about with this 'Hogwarts portal'."

Severus ignored Vlad and answered Harry gently. "One can't see the way to Platform 9¾, either. But unlike the magic gateway in King's Cross Station, the Hogwarts ghost portal is about two feet through the wall next to the Hufflepuff Common Room. It's probably where our honored House Ghosts and Myrtle came from, as opposed to simply gliding through walls for expedience.

"But this leads me to ask about your travels, Miss Duncan, as I thought you were confined to the grounds of Hogwarts."

Myrtle might have been dead long before Severus was born, but even she knew to respond to the snarky Head of House when he was being professorial. "I am," she protested, "but Professor Dumbledore petitioned the Ministry on my behalf. It's _been_ 50 years since I last caused trouble, and I've been good. So they changed my ruling a bit. Now I'm allowed to go anywhere _off_ the Hogwarts grounds as long as I'm supervised, and _now_ I can visit anywhere I wish in the Ghost Zone, whenever I want."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. Eleven-year-olds usually outgrew the whiny stage as they got older, but though Myrtle had been dead for close to 55 years, she was never going to be developmentally older than eleven.

The Grey Lady raised an eyebrow. "Professor, if you don't wish to listen to the protestations of adolescents, you should address questions of behavioral propriety to their guardians _who are present_. Instead of harassing Myrtle, you should have asked _me_. I am more than capable of supervising my ward, Severus."

The Potions Master had the good grace to blush. These were more words put together than he ever heard from this particular ghost, and she delivered a politely given but well-deserved rebuke. "Of course, Lady. Please forgive me."

Severus peaked his eyebrows. Only _he_ would fall afoul of dissatisfied House Ghosts. He couldn't remember any time that such attention was paid to the ghosts on a regular basis, anyway.

He sighed. This was also probably Daniel's doing. Yet he couldn't fault the boy for this.

Danny huffed. "You know, guys, I'm glad you think generating this portal's a cool power, but it _does_ take energy, and I'm getting tired. Can we please start moving?"

Vlad recoiled as if struck. "I apologize, Daniel. Please step this way." With that, he disappeared into the green swirl.

Harry peaked his eyebrows as Uncle Vlad disappeared from view. All three wizards shouldered their bags, but Severus put a hand on his son's back protectively as they went through the portal.

Remus offered, "Danny, I'll bring Morph through for you."

Danny passed the carrying case to him. "Thanks. After you go, give me a minute. I'll let this one go, and I'll be a few minutes later." Remus nodded and followed the others. The portal closed after him.

Danny slumped his shoulders, relaxing for a bit. Sir Nicholas hugged him. "Forgive me for causing you stress, Sir Danny. I made sure only to use your title before those who know your secret. I've wanted to give you this honor since we learned of it. It is fitting, it is proper, and Queen Anne reminded us that it is correct to give you your honor when those who know your secrets are about."

When he was released, Danny sighed. "Thanks, Sir Nicholas. It's… just a bit overwhelming. I guess I'm not used to it. I didn't help Princess Dora for the honor. Tucker and I came to rescue Sam from her brother. Pulling Aragon out of the Dark Ages really was Dora's idea."

The Baron nodded gravely. "But you are the one who inspired her and gave her confidence to stand up for herself and her realm."

Danny shook his head negatively. "Sam was responsible for that."

Sir Nicholas put a supportive hand on his shoulder. "Perhaps. But, as such things often go, it was probably the combined effort of your rescue mission, being her inspiration for confidence, and your help in the defeat of her tyrannical brother that put her in mind of bestowing that honor upon you."

He lifted his head with his free hand and placed it more comfortably centered in his ruff. "Please listen to me. While Vlad likes to tease, please accept your accolades with good grace. You didn't act _for_ the honor, which speaks to your valiance. You have earned what Princess Dora graced you with, and that is the title your uncles and Harry will relate to. Let them.

"When I spoke to the Ghostwriter, he told me of the Far Frozen's title for you."

Danny peaked his eyebrows. "Sir Nich…"

"_No_, Danny. Listen. The people of the Far Frozen are sincere. Let them be proud of you. It isn't a matter of the admittedly foolish celebrity that the media generates. They don't understand."

Danny cocked his head. "Well, Americans don't really get it, either, me included."

"Be that as it may… You can use this to your advantage in ways that you might not have considered. It occurs to me that some of your difficulties with your antagonists might be lessened. It is odd to your way of thinking, as noble titles aren't part of a culture you are familiar with, but they are far more powerful than simple symbolism."

Sir Nicholas smiled, raising his eyebrows. "At the Christmas party, I heard tell of a rumor or two that Plasmius started, forcing some of your most tenacious enemies to start thinking of you as Master, having nothing to do with your new last name. While the word _master_ trips unpleasant thoughts psychologically for you, the fact is that the repetition of words leaves an imprint on the mind. I understand why you would be unhappy with random ghosts calling you Master. But what if these random ghosts called you 'the Great One?'

"Sir Danny or Sir Phantom will always serve you well, but can you imagine the power you would have over your enemies if they heard you regularly spoken of as the Great One? Or one better, the Great One, Sir Danny Phantom?

"This doesn't relate to the standard hierarchy of royalty or nobility, as such. It has everything to do with perception."

The Baron sniffed and continued the sentiment. "Imagine for a moment - what is the difference between harassing 'the Ghost Child' and harassing 'the Great One'? You are the same person, true. But the image created in the mind with these titles is worlds apart."

Danny rolled his head on his left shoulder. "I guess. I never thought of it that way."

Sir Nicholas snorted. "I would imagine not. When your main points of reference are the Fright Knight, the Ghost King, and the Ghost Zone's Greatest Hunter, I can see why the concept of titles would be off-putting. But think of Princess Dora, think of Frostbite and the deference Vlad gives him. And think of us. Let those who love you serve as your role models."

"Okay."

The Baron smirked. "Further, it will entertain Professor Snape and your new father, should you embrace the titles and all the power implied therein. It would be very Slytherin of you. With all things considered, it is very appropriate for you to accept this on many different levels."

Sir Nicholas raised an eyebrow and then chuckled. The Friar laughed heartily. "Now _that_ is the point of the House rivalry: the comic value."

The Grey Lady hugged Danny. "Indeed. You make all of us proud."

"Thanks for saying so, Lady Helena."

When she let go, Myrtle hugged him. "Now, go. Your Papá is waiting for you." She kissed him on the cheek and flew back to the Grey Lady's side.

Danny touched his cheek tenderly and smiled at her. He opened the portal again. "Thanks, guys. I'll see you when we get back." With that, he stepped into his living room in Amity Park.


	4. Danny's Doctor Visit, Part II

Danny's Doctor Visit, Part II: At Fenton Works

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_ or _Harry Potter_. I got the idea of the Ghost Gabber's reaction to Vlad from pearl84's "My Little Badger."

* * *

><p>Severus, Remus, and Harry found themselves in a cheerful living room with Vlad. Immediately, Harry's mind compared it to the Dursleys' residence. The room looked as if it was designed to have people spend time talking to one another. A long couch took up the larger portion of one wall, and there were armchairs all around a coffee table. There was a lot of open space. It looked… comfortable, lived in. Harry could imagine that Danny was happy living here.<p>

Vlad sighed. "I wasn't here often, but I could tell that Jack and Maddie enjoyed living here. Maddie was always ready for a guest, even if the guest wasn't particularly welcome." He shook his head. "They lived for two things: their study of ghosts with their countless inventions, and their family." Vlad closed his eyes.

Harry frowned in thought. "There is no television. That was the focal point of the Dursleys' living room, and they even put one in the kitchen."

Vlad smiled sardonically. "There is one hidden in the wall by a panel that can be accessed when pressing the right button. There is also another in the kitchen, I understand. Besides being top-of-the-line technology, it is particularly useful when space is at a premium. From what I've gathered, the televisions were more for news than entertainment, in the Fenton household.

"However, they had different recreational outlets. Between inventing anti-ghost gadgetry, they had artistic souls. Maddie invented cookie recipes and delighted in creating desserts. Jack did needlepoint."

Remus cocked his head. He knew some wizards who knitted, but needlepoint? Women of leisure usually did needlepoint and embroidery. "_Jack_ did needlepoint?"

Vlad sighed again. "Indeed. And he made plush action figures. Daniel said Jack found such things 'artsy and relaxing.' See? There's his needlepoint hoop." On the table laid an incomplete piece, but it was set to be of Jack holding 'the Wisconsin ghost' in place with the Ghost Gauntlets.

Severus picked it up. "Is this rendition accurate?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Severus pursed his lips in an effort not to laugh.

Harry remembered Hagrid and Professor Dumbledore's interest in knitting. "You know, between needlepoint and knitting, they're activities to keep a person's hands busy and mind open. Mrs. Weasley can get into all kinds of conversations when she's knitting. And baking cookies?" Harry closed his eyes. "When someone wants to, it can be an activity done to get children involved…"

Aunt Petunia tried to get Dudley to help her bake cookies once when they were five. Dudley ignored the mixing spoon and ate the batter with his hands. Harry reached for the spoon, and Dudley grabbed it and hit him with it, and dumped the batter on Harry's head. Aunt Petunia took away the spoon and yelled at Harry to clean the mess.

A few tears came from Harry as he reflected. From that day on, baking cookies was only for Dudley while Harry stayed in his cupboard. It wasn't until he was seven that Harry would cook anything, and even then, it was never with praise, and he almost never got to eat the desserts he made.

Severus hugged the distraught boy. "Harry, you should know that you have real talent in the kitchen. Don't let anything _Tuney_ said hurt you. You have many talents, and they were blind and criminally savage not to give you recognition for it."

Remus raised any eyebrow – the Potions Master's comment about a lack of recognition could just as easily have referred to himself when it came to Harry's first five years of Potions.

Severus recognized the poignant, if silent, rebuke and cleared his throat. "If I hadn't been an idiot about you concerning your father, I would have encouraged you in Potions. The precision I've seen you use to adhere to recipes or otherwise calculated changes with creativity is beyond description. I may never forgive myself…"

If it weren't for Severus's own blind stupidity, Harry Potter could have been nurtured to become the next generation's Potions Master. The boy could have been as responsive to praise as Daniel was, and it was only Snape's own failing that Harry was not as inspired at Potions as Daniel was with his Powers Training.

Harry accepted his new father's sense of regret and hugged him. "Well, I do."

A circle of green light appeared and Danny stepped through. The portal disappeared behind him. Danny nodded, as he kept the advice he was given in mind. "Hey." Danny saw a tearful cousin and uncle, a sad Vlad, and a reflective Uncle Remus.

Vlad perked up. "Little badger! How are you feeling?"

Harry mouthed, 'Little badger?'

Severus mouthed back, 'Later.'

Danny sighed. "Better. Sir Nicholas is full of good advice." At once, Danny realized this was the first time he had been home since the half-ghosts came to Hogwarts. A lump formed in his throat and he might have joined the tearfest (that he had yet to find out why it was happening) until he saw the needlepoint piece in Professor Snape's hand.

Danny smiled, eyes lit with tears. "Papá, Dad had you that time."

Vlad grimaced, as he could only imagine what was going on in his son's mind. "Indeed, he did. And the lesson to be learned from the occasion is to never underestimate your opponent. I've always understood that mother bears were protective of their young. They don't hold a candle to Jack's protective instincts."

Danny blinked. "Did you just say something nice about Dad?"

Vlad gave a half-smile. "I suppose I did."

The wizards refrained from commenting, as they recognized what could have been an intensely private moment.

Danny shook himself out of the mood. "Right, then. Let's head down to the lab."

Hitting the lights at the top of the stairs, Danny noticed how clean and dust-free the stairs were. "Not that I'm complaining, but how is this place so clean?"

Vlad smiled even as they walked down. "I had a ghostly servant service this house. Besides allowing him access to the Real World, which only makes up part of what these servants get out of the deal, and giving him free reign on his obsession to keep house… You have no idea how many ghosts with a similar obsession jumped at the chance to service the Fenton household in perfect safety."

Danny's face fell and blanched. "I…" A deep emotional pain settled on him, and tears streamed down his face. He shook with silent sobs. Harry put a hand on his shoulder.

Severus put a hand on the elder half-ghost's shoulder, pointedly saying, "Vlad, please tell me you intended your comment to have a different function than letting Daniel know that the local ghosts are glad his parents are dead."

Vlad stopped on his stair and closed his eyes. "Devil's food cake! Ach… No, that's not… Let's get to the bottom. There's a second kitchen in the basement where we can sit and be rational."

The group somberly made their way to that kitchen, and Vlad motioned for everyone to take seats around the table. Instead of sitting, Vlad knelt before Danny and hugged him tightly. "Daniel, I apologize. Please believe me when I tell you I had no intention to hurt you. Over the course of my twenty-two years as a ghost, I've developed a very different relationship to various and sundry local ghosts than you have. I…" He fell silent and embraced the devastated teen.

Vlad released him, continuing to kneel, and tried again. "I have countless ghosts in my employ. Most of them would be unfamiliar to you, as they are shy of humans and would never have been where you would have interacted with them." He thought for a moment. "Mostly like the Dairy King. They only wish to follow their simple desires and be left alone.

"Ghosts who aren't interested in causing chaos, or domination, or whatever their obsession might do to interfere in the human world think of you as a hero, much like the ghosts at Hogwarts. Many of _these_ ghosts would be honored to have a chance to serve you."

Danny looked up tearfully. "Really?" This was news to him.

Vlad nodded. "Indeed. However, they were afraid of you, of your parents, and even of me and what I might have said." Danny scrunched his nose in disbelief. "They worried that I might think their desire to help you was a betrayal of me." Staring off in thought, Vlad murmured, "At one point, they might have been right."

Severus glared at him. Before the Slytherin said anything, Vlad continued, as if his reflective moment hadn't happened. "During the times I've popped back to the States over the course of the school year, some of my ghostly servants offered their condolences to you, and inquired about cleaning your family home. There are at least four of them who take turns in rotation."

Danny sniffed back tears, surprised. "Whoa. But how do you keep them from everything in the lab?"

"None of them are interested in the technology," Vlad explained wryly.

Danny blinked. "I guess that's useful, if they were going to clean the lab. But, Papá, you make it sound like _other_ ghosts care about technology. I thought Technus was…" He trailed off, not quite sure of what he wanted to say.

Vlad saw the problem and supplied, "Technus isn't the only technology-obsessed ghost. He is, however, the only one I know who attempted world domination with it."

All three wizards stared in disbelief. The idea of tangible ghosts was weird enough to their way of thinking. The idea that ghosts would actively try to take over the world just didn't compute.

Then again, Harry remembered that there was an article in the _Daily Prophet_ from a year and a half ago that Hermione pointed out. In an effort to keep Muggles as unaware of the weird and unexpected as possible, a team of Obliviators showed up and provided less disturbing memories of the event. The Muggles in downtown London were reprogrammed to believe that there was a blackout that upset traffic patterns that day, having forgotten the disturbing image that inexplicably popped out of the traffic signals. They weren't fast enough to erase images of the overturned double-decker bus or other collisions, but the British public did not remember the electronic billboards that proclaimed "Technus Rules!"

During a moment of leisure, Danny explained that Technus was the name of the ghost whose image and influence caused the mess. Harry wasn't sure he believed Danny at the time, but now he knew that Danny was right on all counts.

Vlad sighed. "Most of these ghosts, like Brian," he rolled his eyes, "just want a chance to continue using and exploring technology. You already met Brian, who – in addition to being a useful messenger and delivery boy – still enjoys planes, cars, and other vehicles."

Danny nodded. Brian was the ghost who was sent to pull that 'cruel hoax' that brought Danny and his mother to Colorado. Brian also brought Myrtle her copy of the new Christmas poem.

Vlad noticed that Daniel was much calmer, and pulled the conversation back to his original track. "The ghosts who were excited about the opportunity to clean this house can be counted on to clean and otherwise ignore your parents' inventions. They were particularly thrilled, since I forbade _all_ ghosts to come to Amity Park – especially in our absence – and they have permission to not only be in Amity Park, to not only indulge their ghostly obsession, but to do all of this for you.

"They aren't happy about your family's demise. They are happy that I allowed them to come here."

Harry asked, "Uncle Vlad, how is it that you have so much control over these ghosts you're talking about?" Remus and Severus looked on with interest.

Vlad frowned. "That is a good question. Besides using my powers to jumpstart my career in the human world – don't ask. That's not up for discussion – I've had to prove myself worthy of the respect of other ghosts, much like Daniel has. The main difference is… well, Daniel is a lot nicer than I am. I have a more Machiavellian relationship to ghosts." Severus nodded; that explained a few things, particularly Peeves' and Walker's reactions to him. It also explained the general reluctance of the House Ghosts to interact socially with Vlad.

All of the wizards ignored Vlad's tendency to refer to the Muggle World as 'the human world.' It was easier to just let it go.

"They quickly learned that I have little tolerance for being meddled with. It also helps that I've honed my skills such that a threat to destroy a ghost is not a bluff."

Harry and Remus gasped, especially as they realized that Wormtail and Voldemort's last stand were not the only times Vlad might have killed someone, albeit that someone might have already been a ghost. Because of their verbal sparring and other odd fruits of their former rivalry, Severus didn't doubt that Vlad would have been more than capable of doing all that he said and more.

Vlad continued. "Be that as it may, there are ghosts who discovered that it was in their best interests to either help me, or leave me alone. You don't need the details, but my reputation is well-earned." Severus had no problem believing that.

Remus asked, "I've heard that there is a Ghost King, and since you helped to fight against him, you aren't him. But it sounds like you DO have a tremendous amount of influence. Do you actually rule over the ghosts? You did use the word Machiavellian, so it is a fair question."

Vlad straightened his tie as he thought of his answer. "I don't precisely rule the Ghost Zone. I don't usually care about the affairs of most ghosts, one way or another. It is when they choose to have dealings with me that things get interesting. Or, of course, if I choose to have dealings with them.

"When you consider that not all ghosts have a comparatively human sentience, sometimes it is easier to think of it more along the lines of 'survival of the fittest,' and I didn't survive this long by allowing myself to be used and abused.

"But, as in the human world, I am a powerful and influential ghost. There are many who find it beneficial to work for me. I make it worth their while; satisfied employees are productive employees. This is true, whether we're discussing humans, humanoids, or ghosts."

That was a lot more about Vlad than anyone thought to ask.

Danny decided to take advantage of the general lull in conversation to look through the cabinets of this lesser-used kitchen. The food was fresh, which surprised Danny, but he realized that if whatever ghost upkept Fenton Works normally served Vlad, the unnamed ghost would have taken Vlad's (or Danny's own) human needs into account.

Danny made a tuna casserole and Harry prepared two side dishes. They had fresh fruit for dessert. Remus set the dishes and flatware to washing themselves, to the delight of Danny and Harry and the amusement of Vlad. Not to be outdone, Severus magically dried them and put them in their assorted cabinets and drawers.

After dinner, they walked past the door to the weapons vault, which Danny pointed out. Harry cocked his head. "You have a weapons vault?"

Danny shrugged. "When you realize how many ecto-weapons my parents created and used on a regular basis, they needed somewhere to put it all, organized and safe. And since it's not too noticeable from the outside, it isn't the most likely thing to be raided by invaders of any sort."

Vlad didn't mention that he had passed that door many times and didn't realize what it was until Danny pointed it out just now. The vultures mentioned something of that nature, but he hadn't seen it himself until now.

Severus narrowed his eyes in thought. "Harry, it occurs to me that, in some of your older, larger holdings, you may indeed have _several_ weapons vaults, with adjacent practice rooms."

Danny raised his eyebrows. "Older, larger holdings?"

Remus took pity on Danny, who seemed to be the only one not in the loop. "Danny, I don't know if it ever came up in conversation between you and Harry. Harry happens to come from a very old pureblood family, on his father's side. He inherited quite a lot from his father, and even more from his godfather, Sirius Black."

"I'm still not getting it."

The werewolf cast an apologetic glance at Harry, and explained. "Old family is often synonymous with Old Money. Sirius never talked too much about it, as he tried to distance himself from his family – there were good reasons for that. James never spoke about such things, either. But based on the insanity the Blacks insisted upon as a matter of course, and some of the more interesting things James kept on his person, I wouldn't be surprised to discover that Harry's combined inheritance rivaled the entirety of the wealth of your new father."

Danny stared at Harry, who only said, "Hey – this is still new to me. I grew up thinking I was a poor, unwanted burden, forced to accept Dudley's hand-me-downs, table scraps, and closet space as a bedroom, and was commanded to be thankful for it. Our trip to Godric's Hollow was a serious eye-opener."

Continuing to stare, Danny murmured, "Really?" He was given too much information to process in too short a time.

Harry hugged Danny. "Don't worry about it. Really."

Severus smiled. "We have yet to exchange vacation stories. We have since discovered some rather interesting milestones in Harry's family history."

Vlad nodded. "Perhaps we'll have time to discuss all of that once we're settled in our first location for our current adventure."

Between Vlad and the wizards, Danny decided that at some point, learning about inheritance might be a good idea. It was still creepy beyond measure, but it might be important some day.

Danny shook his head to clear it of the weirdness that was too hard to process for right now. "But for now, welcome to the Fenton Lab."

"Welcome to the Fenton Lab. Fear me." All four of the non-Fenton members of the party spun to find the disembodied voice.

Danny smacked his head and closed his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me."

"You've got to be kidding me. Fear me." Danny rolled his eyes as he came closer to the table where the device was located.

Remus simply asked, "Danny, what is that?" He was puzzled when there was no repetition of his words.

Danny sighed. "That's the Ghost Gabber. It translates whatever a ghost says. The 'Fear me' is the indication that what it's translating is from a ghost. (My parents were convinced that ghosts could be nothing but evil, so it kind of makes sense.)" He rolled his eyes as his words were repeated.

Harry almost chuckled, despite himself. "But what's the point? You're human… well, mostly."

"Yeah. And most of the ghosts I know and have dealt with are also humanoid. But some of the ghosts I've fought aren't." Glaring at Vlad, he pointedly announced, "There are _vultures_," Vlad gave a sheepish grin, "rabbits, bears, snakes, reindeer, octopus, um, however you pluralize that, wolves – the non-anthro-wolf kind," Remus's eyebrows shot up. "Skeleton zombies. Whatever. When they talk, other ghosts hear it like it's normal speech. Humans hear animal noises and… inarticulate grunts."

Harry nodded. "I get that. It's like what happens when I hear Parseltongue. Everyone else hears hissing, and like that, but I didn't even know that I wasn't hearing – or later, speaking – English, until someone pointed it out to me."

Danny nodded back. "Fair enough. There is only one real exception to the 'ghost universal language' thing: Esperanto. I don't know why that's the exception, but I learned some of it so I can speak to my friend, Wulf." He looked up to see a startled Remus. Danny shook his head 'no.' "It's a long story."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "It would have to be."

Vlad sighed. "It is. Meeting Wulf happened during one of those misadventures involving Walker. But Wulf is a valuable friend."

"…Wulf is a valuable friend. Fear me, I am evil." Vlad glowered malevolently at the contraption, and Severus laughed heartily.

Harry asked quietly, "How does it know?"

Vlad crossed his arms, drumming his fingers as he focused on calming down and not blasting the annoying invention to bits. "Daniel's parents were that effective. I'm not sure who to give credit to – Maddie, because of its brilliance in translation, or Jack, because of the sheer fact that it's annoying."

Danny fought an amused smirk. He empathized with Vlad because the 'ghost' repetition _was_ annoying, but the fact that the thing picked up on Vlad's evil inclination was just funny. Danny coughed and suggested, "You can always check the patent. But I remember Dad was particularly proud of this one."

Vlad rolled his eyes. "I should have known."

Danny fingered another invention and rubbed his head in remembered pain. "Yeah, well, it's not as bad as the Boo-merang." Harry chuckled at Danny's upraised arms in a mock-scary gesture. "That's keyed in to my ecto-signature. It doesn't matter how hard or in which direction it's thrown. It always manages to find me."

Danny sighed. "See, my parents were brilliant inventors, and I'm still not sure how they put the theory to practice. But they invented all kinds of things to track, translate, capture, hold in place, cause pain to, or otherwise subdue or better understand ghosts." He smiled. "They even figured out how to use ectoplasm as a renewable energy source."

Vlad stared off at a memory. "Ah, yes. The ecto-converter. It's a pity that the only one I know of is completely out of reach. But I have access to the patents and can make a new one. It will be interesting to see what we can power up with such a thing."

Danny winced. Mom and Dad were particularly proud of the ecto-converter, but didn't really care about how much pain such a thing _might _cause the ghost the ectoplasm was collected from. The rest of that memory wasn't worth thinking about. He moved to a different table, as some inventions were more important than others.

Clearing his throat, Danny said, "Remember when the Boggart turned into my worst nightmare?"

Vlad, Severus, and Harry's eyes widened, as no one thought Danny would mention that incident willingly.

Remus gave the group a sidelong glance. "Pardon?"

Vlad gave a half-smile. "Remus, I remembered that you discussed Boggarts when you taught in Hogwarts. Minerva mentioned a study that was done, and I brought back the concept as a teachable moment. I'm surprised I didn't write to you about it."

Remus blinked. "You said you had a lot on your mind at the time. You might have thought you did, but actually forgot to tell me. Such things happen." He turned to Danny, and said gently, "What about your Boggart, Danny?"

"It was complicated, but one of the images involved was of Papá wearing modified Ghost Gauntlets…" He closed his eyes, gulped, and opened his eyes. "These are the Ghost Gauntlets, as they were created. They don't have the claw-like thingies…" Danny shuddered, and Vlad hugged him, shielding him from his darker emotions.

"Thanks, Papá." Danny paused to soak up some comfort before continuing. "Anyway, these 'Gauntlets help the wearer hold a ghost. It can't turn intangible while it's being held by a person wearing these."

Severus put an index finger to his lips as he considered the Ghost Gauntlets, and he recognized the Fenton Thermos by description. "Vlad, is this the 'ghost-proof' material you referred to during those exercises?" He picked up the Thermos to study it more closely.

Remus and Harry couldn't help but be curious about the mentioned exercises, but realized that if they weren't told about them, they probably weren't going to learn about them. Vlad was particularly sensitive to any mentions of his own vulnerability, and he liked to keep his secrets.

"Yes," Vlad said stiffly. "It's not a metal found in nature. It is an alloy that is heavily treated. You'll forgive me for not sharing the secret of how or with what. And I hope I can trust you to not get it from me with Legilimency, Severus."

The addressed wizard considered. "Of course you can, Vlad." The pause gave Vlad confidence that Severus meant it, as opposed to giving an answer too quickly.

For Severus, the temptation was strong, but the value of their friendship was worth far more than any amount of curiosity he might have. His not knowing about ghost-proof materials wasn't a danger to Harry, so he could let go of the knowledge gracefully.

Harry looked around and asked, "Danny, what is this? It looks like a vacuum cleaner, but I'm guessing it's not."

With a pained smile, Danny answered, "Well… it is, kind of. Think Mom came up with this one. She called it the 'Fenton Weasel'."

Harry made a face. "Weasel?"

Danny refused to get sucked into a conversation about the tendencies of his parents to invent ridiculous names for their home-invented gadgetry. He cleared his throat. "Like you guessed, it's kind of a vacuum cleaner for ghosts. Papá or I could only get caught in either the Thermos or the Weasel when we're in ghost form."

Harry considered the Thermos in Severus's hands and the 'Weasel,' and frowned. "I know you said the laws of physics sometimes take a vacation. I mean, I've seen boxes magically hold impossible amounts of stuff, but… that's stuff, not people."

Danny shrugged and gave a half-smile. "Harry, ghosts can fly, open a hole in the middle of our substance… It's kinda hard to mutilate us, but bending, spindling, and smushing us into ridiculously weird spaces…" Danny made a face. "Having been inside both things, yeah. In the Weasel, I could still see my arms, legs, head, and stuff. In the Thermos, there is no sensory stimulation."

Harry scrunched his nose. "But there's only as much space…" He held the vacuum head. "How…?"

Danny smirked. "Harry – dude, you can conjure an entire set of clothes from nothing, your own father could change into a stag, and you fly on a broomstick. Between gravity and conservation of mass and energy, wizards have a habit of ignoring physics on your own."

Harry giggled. He didn't think of it in quite that way, but could see that Danny was right.

Danny continued, "Ectoplasm doesn't really work the same way normal biology does. The containment devices aren't particularly comfortable or fun to be in, but they make as much sense as the entire Room of Requirement."

Vlad slipped an arm around Danny. "I told you that breaking the laws of physics is so much more satisfying when you know which laws you're breaking."

Remus smiled. "You know, Vlad, I think you nailed it. Only the Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised witches and wizards understand the wonder of magic, as people from a pureblood background are often too jaded to understand how wondrous our lives truly are. As important as my pre-Hogwarts program is, I'm of the firm belief that Muggle Studies should be a required course for purebloods and wizard-raised students."

Severus cleared his throat. "Speaking of cross-cultural adventures, you have yet to show us the pressurized vehicle you discussed, Daniel."

Danny smiled. "Right." He pulled a dust cover from the vehicle and opened the door. "This is the Specter Speeder." He slipped inside and blinked. "Hey! I didn't realize we had these in here!"

Everyone piled in and grinned when Danny pointed out a rack of Fenton Jackets. Vlad chuckled. "Redundant safety measures are always useful, particularly in a laboratory setting."

Danny piped up, "I'll drive!"


	5. Danny's Doctor Visit, Part III

Danny's Doctor Visit, Part III: In the Ghost Zone

I'm glad to see the enthusiastic response for this story, and I apologize that it has taken so long, first to update, and second, to get to the germane issue. However, I think I've covered a fair bit of character development this chapter.

I offer spiced apple cider, pumpkin pie, and applesauce to all who have read, reviewed, and put this story on your assorted lists.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom,_ _Harry Potter, _or "It Was a Very Good Year".

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><p>Travelling through the Ghost Zone in the Specter Speeder was a novelty for everyone but Danny. Harry and Remus were dazzled by the endless swirls of green.<p>

Harry observed, "This… In the movies I've seen in outer space, the blackness of space surrounds the ship like the green surrounds us."

Danny nodded, keeping his eyes forward. "It's a good analogy. The Ghost Zone doesn't have much in the way of gravity, unless you're close to an island, river, asteroid, or something. But unlike space, the Ghost Zone doesn't operate like a vacuum. It's just… creepy."

Remus stared wide-eyed at the swirls and doors. "Or, rather, fascinating."

Danny shrugged. "I'm still going with 'creepy'."

Severus looked out the window to their left. "There appears to be a river. But I don't see a logical reason for the water to stay within its banks."

Vlad smirked. "That would be the River of Revulsion. Be glad that we're in an enclosed space, where we can't smell it."

Remus turned to face him. "Even an odoriferous stream has to have some redeeming value."

"Only as a landmark of sorts. Otherwise… The river ends in the maw of some rather large ghost. I don't believe it has more than an animalistic sentience, but I think they call him Bob."

Danny wasn't sure if Vlad was serious about this.

Harry asked, "Where do all these doors lead?"

Danny answered, "Some of them lead to ghosts' lairs. Some of them lead to random points in time and space in the Real World. Some of them open to other quadrants of the Ghost Zone."

Severus peered out the window. "That mansion with the stately columns is a fine work of architecture." The fact that it floated without anything beneath it was neither here nor there.

Danny smiled. "The Ghostwriter lives there. We used his home as a home base while we were in the Ghost Zone over Christmas break."

Harry furrowed his brows. "Ghostwriter?"

Danny smirked. "His name is no worse a pun than Diagon Alley."

"Point. What is he like?"

Vlad enjoyed his role as an unofficial tour guide to the ghosts. "Besides the pointed ears and fangs, he appears to be a Bohemian scholar. With his long coat, scarf, turtleneck sweater, glasses not unlike yours, and a goatee, he looks like the poet that he is."

Remus grinned. "He sounds like an intellectual ghostly better-than-beatnik."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "And how are you even familiar with the term 'beatnik'?"

Remus chuckled. "It was Sirius's idea. Once he hit 17, he decided to make as rebellious a statement as he could. Since he was from a family that prided itself on its ancient ancestry and nobility, he focused on trying to divest himself of all hints of that. I think Lily mentioned something once about the American James Dean, 'a rebel without a cause', and Sirius decided to figure out how much of the time period he wanted to play with. He had a motorcycle – he charmed it to fly. He heard that 'beatniks' were creative, so… the five of us did some research when we could. Between the ages 17 and 21 was an interesting time."

He gave a bittersweet smile as he thought that Sirius would have burst out singing, 'When I was seventeen/ It was a very good year…'

Harry sighed. That was an interesting foray into Marauder history.

Danny cleared his throat. "The Ghostwriter and the Friar talked about poetry convention and format and stuff. I haven't read enough stuff by the Ghostwriter to know if he was a beatnik." He sighed. "Sam would know."

As much as Remus just revealed about his parents and friends, Harry decided that Danny needed to be comforted more than he did. "Why would Sam know?"

Danny thought for a moment. "She liked all kinds of poetry, but her favorite literature circle was the Goth slam at the Skulk and Lurk – the bookstore/café devoted to all things dark, bleak, and Gothic." He smiled. "One time, she took Kwan with her to a poetry thing, where people invented and recited poetry about death, despair, confusion, and chaos. Kwan got the idea of poetry, but didn't grok the attitude of a Goth poetry slam. I think his offering of 'The Fluffy Clouds All Look Like Footballs' got Sam (and Kwan, but he didn't care) banned from the Skulk and Lurk for a month."

Harry laughed, and even Danny smiled. Danny didn't usually share too much about his friends back home in Amity Park. And then a thought hit Harry. "Is Kwan still…"

Danny sighed. "Yeah. He's one of the few I know from Casper High who made it out alive. I kinda got the feeling that he was smarter than the jocks he spent time with from the A-List."

Harry shook his head in confusion. "Jocks? A-List?"

Danny grimaced. "Sorry. You started Hogwarts before discovering the 'magic' of public high school. Or maybe the energy spent on the difference between the Houses precluded you from 'the normal high school experience,' where kids form cliques based on random stupidity."

Harry sighed. "Don't be too sure of that. Separate Houses doesn't seem a logical reason to not be friends with someone. Was it logical that I entered Hogwarts with practically all of Slytherin hating me? It didn't make Potions or Care of Magical Creatures any easier."

"Good point. Still… The most common cliques in Casper High (and elsewhere, from what I gather) are the student athletes, who are stereotypically more brawn than brains – those are the jocks. The stylish and good-looking, who are almost popular by default – those are the A-List. These two groups usually get along quite well. The Band and Chess clubs – usually populated by students with more brains than social skills, beyond their groups, that is. At least, in Casper High, they are."

Vlad told him that students who formed music groups when _he_ was in high school were _much_ cooler than Casper High's band nerds seemed to be.

Severus cleared his throat. "It might surprise you to know that such cliques exist here, too. They wax and wane with each generation. They ran rampant when I was a student."

He thought for a moment. "They are here even now, but, for better or worse, both of you have been far too… occupied to notice. Also, you've both had your… moments of celebrity, and didn't truly experience such things normally." Harry rolled his eyes.

Vlad quipped, "Thank heavens for small favors."

Harry tilted his head. "Where did you fall in Casper High, Danny?"

With a sardonic smile, Danny said, "Unpopular misfits. I always got a thrill when one of the popular, prettier girls paid attention to me. Being even temporarily popular meant that the bullies who were usually too popular to get into trouble," Severus made an indeterminate noise, "left me alone, or even gave me extra respect.

"But you know… No matter what happened, the fact is I always felt more comfortable just hanging out with Sam and Tucker. With them, there was never really any pressure to be something I'm not, and we were just happy to be who we are."

"Ms. Grey gave me the impression that you were more charming than you were ever really given credit for," Vlad said. "Ladies figured that you and Samantha were an item, and didn't want to disrupt you."

Danny slammed the steering wheel with a fist. "Arg! I _hate_ being a teenager!" Vlad smirked out of Danny's line of sight.

"Be that as it may, you have found your own niche at Hogwarts, and it is vaguely more logical than your former… status, for lack of a better word, at Casper."

Danny was about to turn his head to make a comment when a 16-foot image of Walker popped up in front of them. "You, punk, are bringing Real World contraband into the Ghost Zone again. That's against the Rules."

Harry and Remus looked at each other and then back out at the huge white ghost.

Vlad sighed. "I'll be right back. But here." He distributed something small to each of them. "Put this in your ear, and you'll be able to hear what I'm saying."

Danny murmured, "The Fenton Phones. They tune out any interfering magic or other power used by ghosts, as well as working as electronic communicators. Great things, these."

Putting his own on and turning it invisible, Vlad flew out of the Speeder. "Ah, Walker. We're back to that rule, are we? And I believe I overturned that rule of yours. Real World items are no longer contraband."

Vlad tapped his chin. "If you wish to amend the rule so that it refers to products created by the Guys in White, I might even get behind such a thing and give support for it. But as it is now, we've done nothing wrong." Vlad's deceptively light-hearted tone sent a chill up Danny's back.

Walker narrowed his green eyes. "Very well, Plasmius. I'll have to think about that. As you were." The sixteen-foot image shrank down to six feet and flew off in a different direction.

Vlad reentered the cabin. "See? All taken care of."

Remus and Harry looked at each other again, and turned to Vlad. Remus asked, "What was that?" His tone was sharp, as he didn't appreciate threats to his family, such as it was, especially when he didn't understand said threats.

Vlad sighed in satisfaction. "That, my friend, was the local sheriff in town. He can be quite useful, when upholding relevant rules. But he seems to have developed a penchant for pestering my son. The last time we met, in January, I told him I won't stand for such nonsense. Ghosts have a hard time responding to change, so I gave him a quick reminder. Further, giving him a more constructive use of his time and energy is always useful."

Remus decided that Vlad's answer was sufficient.

Harry nodded and asked another question that was on his mind. "Uncle Vlad? Could you tell me again how come you and Danny are in your ghost forms?"

Vlad smiled. "Absolutely, Harry. We are in our ghost forms because in the Ghost Zone, it simply takes less energy, in much the same way that it takes less energy to stay in human form in the Real World."

Harry nodded. That made sense. It was one of those facts that only seemed to affect half-ghosts, as he couldn't think of anyone else who had these two forms. It was one of those things that made him remember that Danny and Uncle Vlad weren't exactly human.

Severus asked, "So, Vlad, where is our first destination?"

"Her Highness, Princess Dora, has requested our presence."

Danny blinked and looked up at him. "Papá?"

"When we saw her at the Christmas party, she said that the next time we intended to spend more time in the Ghost Zone beyond just passing through, she wanted us to visit."

Severus sucked in a breath. He knew it was Vlad's way to surprise the people he was with, but this… "Vlad, are we appropriately attired for such an event?"

Vlad smiled. "In your robes, you are perfectly dressed. Princess Dora mentioned that she hadn't seen real, live wizards in centuries, and she is looking forward to seeing you as much as she is to seeing myself and Daniel."

Danny smiled as they came closer to the island of Dora's principality. "It's still summer here. It's a beautiful thing." It was a large island with a forest. The castle could be seen in the distance, and it was surrounded by a moat.

Harry asked, "How can you tell? The… atmosphere doesn't lend itself to, uh… weather."

"There used to be a dark cloud over the castle, and none of the trees had leaves. Now, they're… in a summer's bloom in the deciduous cycle." Vlad smiled as his son displayed his knowledge from Herbology.

Danny continued, "The Ghost Zone doesn't lend itself to a natural sense of daylight or night's darkness, but it _is_ much brighter here, and the plants are healthier. A false sun came out when the dark clouds parted. Also, I can almost guarantee that the temperature feels like early summer. I haven't figured out how Dora controls that, but it doesn't have to be more logical than 'ghost sense'."

Vlad put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Ghosts who dwell in the Ghost Zone have complete control over their individual lairs. Those who have enough power to maintain islands decide how much they choose to micromanage their control."

"That's why Skulker got caught in his own traps on his island, huh?"

"I imagine so. It would appeal to his sense of 'being more sporting' by 'evening the odds' or some such nonsense. Now land and prepare for our audience."

Danny landed the Specter Speeder on a strip of gravel that looked like it was a driveway for horse-drawn carriages. He concentrated on what would make him presentable as a ghostly young lord.

Harry watched in awe as a black cape with large silver shoulder pins sprouted from Danny's ghostly haz-mat suit.

Danny opened the hatch and led the five of them to the door. The wizards watched curiously as Danny strode with confident grace.

Severus murmured to Vlad, "What is this?"

Vlad answered quietly, "Daniel's been advised by ghostly royalty and nobility to be proud of what he is, and to accept his role his titles provide. However, here… he apparently had difficulty with the underlings here at the castle. A commanding attitude is infinitely useful against the mindless hoards. Watch."

Lifting the heavy iron dragon-shaped knocker, Danny knocked, and the large ghost he thought of as 'the axe man' opened the door, demanding, "Who goes there?"

Danny took a breath, and using a modified version of his 'hero' voice said, "Tell Princess Dora that Sir Phantom and family are here."

The green ghost nodded. "Very good, sir. Come in." The five of them trooped inside. The door closed behind them. "Wait here, and I'll announce you."

Once the axe-man disappeared through a door on the far side of the room, Vlad murmured to Danny, "Very good, my little knight. You're getting better with this."

In his normal voice, Danny sighed. "I hope so. Between the House Ghosts and Queen Anne, they told me that this was fitting and proper, and that I should get used to it."

Harry furrowed his brows. "Queen Anne?"

"Queen Anne Boleyn, one of the wives of King Henry VIII. Her ghost is one of the many that haunt the Tower of London," Danny clarified. Harry winced. Sir Nicholas mentioned that when they were in Hogwarts.

Severus raised his eyebrows. "We truly should exchange vacation stories sooner rather than later."

Before anyone could respond to him, the large green ghost came back. "Her Highness will see you now."

As the ghost ushered them to the throne room, the wizards marveled at the unfamiliar castle. They spent endless amounts of time in Hogwarts, but a new castle is always worth exploring. They noticed the wall sconces were electric and possibly brighter than the torches that lit Hogwarts.

Once in the throne room, a servant announced, "Sir Phantom and family."

Princess Dora saw them and walked towards them; there were too many people present to ignore decorum. "Sir Danny, it is a pleasure to see you so soon!" She hugged him.

"It's good to see you too, Princess Dora."

When she pulled away, she frowned in concentration. "Sir Danny, these people were announced as your family. But… You'll explain everything later."

"I will."

She extended her hand. "Vlad Plasmius. I assume you have become more than a simple guardian."

He took her hand and kissed it. "Indeed, I have, your Highness. I have adopted Daniel as my son, my favorite of all his titles."

Dora's red eyes twinkled. "Congratulations!" She turned back to Danny. "And now, you must introduce me to the rest of your family."

"Sure. Um…" Danny wasn't sure who he should introduce first. Uncle Severus gently pushed Harry forward, to both boys' surprise. "Okay. This is my cousin, Harry Potter-Snape. But…" He fumbled, as he wasn't sure why Harry should come first.

Severus nodded patiently. "It is fitting. Considering that Harry is the head of two long standing families, and one of which is the Ancient and Noble House of Black… We'll have to visit Gringotts to sort out all Harry's official titles. But as it stands, Harry has more status than we do."

Remus blinked at him.

Severus mouthed, 'Vacation. Soon.'

Dora nodded graciously. "And you are?"

"Severus Tobias Snape, Harry's adopted father, and Daniel's adopted uncle."

Dora glowed with pleasure. "It is good to know that Sir Danny's family is growing. And you, sir?"

"I am Remus John Lupin, adopted uncle to both Harry and Danny."

"Remus and Severus… Those are strong Roman names."

Remus nodded. "So it is customary in the Wizarding World."

"Sir Nicholas did say something of the sort. It's been many centuries since I've seen living wizards. Welcome to Aragon."

Dora huffed. "Let's not stand too much on ceremony. You are family to my friend and knight. Come – let's go through to supper. I'll have your things brought to your rooms." She clapped her hands and six Medievally-clothed serving men appeared. They took the rucksacks from the wizards.

Danny said, "Um… Princess Dora, can my cat…"

She smiled and interrupted. "Of course. Arthur, once you've arranged Sir Danny's room, take care of his pet, and let it roam freely. Sir Danny, what is your cat's name?"

"Morph. With a little imagination, she kind of looks like me."

Dora smiled again. "She does, at that." She waved off the servants.

Remus wrestled with his sense of propriety and asked, "Princess, if I may… what is your full name? Dora is also the name of my fiancée, but that is short for Nymphadora."

"How delightful!" Both Remus and Harry raised their eyebrows, as they knew how much Tonks hated her full name. "My name is Dorathea, but Dora's just fine."

She narrowed her eyes. "My brother forced my hand in all kinds of things, crushing the life and animation from all those who live here, for 1600 years. When my mother called me Dorathea, that was fine. When my brother Aragon did it…" She shuddered in anger, but did not become a dragon. "In any event, my ladies-in-waiting call me Dora, so I almost prefer it."

Severus ventured, "Princess Dora, Daniel mentioned that he helped to bring your realm out of the Dark Ages. You said your brother forced your hand for 1600 years, but that is significantly further back in time than Europe's own Dark Ages. The Roman Empire was still whole 1600 years ago."

Dora cocked her head. "Perhaps. But time does operate a bit differently in the Ghost Zone and the Human World. And who says that my brother's personal reign of terror matched any other time line?"

Severus nodded. "Fair enough. But your mode of dress and… forgive me, but some of your brother's enforced conventions sounded a bit more suggestive of a comparable era in history. Please forgive me for being forward."

Dora sighed. "No, you're right. I don't know what to tell you." She brightened. "But now you must join me for supper!"

Internally, Harry shivered as he remembered the 'food' available at Sir Nicholas's Death Day Party. He was very pleasantly surprised to see a table full of food that was entirely fit for human consumption.

Dora thought for a moment. "Of course. Sir Danny will sit at my right, with Vlad on his right. Harry will sit on my left, with Severus on his left, and Remus will take the other end of the table. This shall be an intimate gathering of only us."

Servants started serving rolls, roast beef, mashed potatoes, and far more vegetable dishes than normally graced a royal banquet in the time period they seemed to be in.

Harry started, "Um…"

Princess Dora smiled at him. "What is it, Harry?"

"I just… everything looks and smells so good. When I went to Sir Nicholas's Death Day party, everything was just…"

"Rotten to the point of being putrid?" Danny supplied. Harry nodded. "Sir Nicholas told me about that. I don't get that, either. Maybe… since their kind of ghost can't touch physical food, it didn't really make sense to serve any, or that would waste it. (Although he should have taken his living guests into account.) I've been to two Christmas parties in the Ghost Zone, and… well, ghosts who can be as physical as we are prefer food as usable as normally prepared for humans."

He thought for a moment. "And when time was restarted here…"

Harry couldn't help himself. "Huh?"

Princess Dora sighed. "It's true. Time had stopped here, in a fashion. Clocks didn't work. Nothing technological worked. The seasons didn't change. We were stuck in the Dark Ages for 1600 years. It wasn't until Sir Danny and Sam came and showed me that I didn't have to stand for my brother's treatment, that I decided to start time again. However, if the weather remains fair, that is a serious improvement over the eternally gray and dreary atmosphere my brother preferred."

Danny smiled. "Sam helped me figure out a few things, too. So, I'm guessing that once you restarted time, you also included a more balanced diet than was common during the Dark Ages."

Dora smiled and patted his hand. "That's exactly right. Please enjoy."

With their meals, the adults were served wine and Danny and Harry were served fresh milk. The boys wisely kept their thoughts on that particular arrangement to themselves.

The food was as good as it appeared to be, and no one said 'no' to seconds. Dora smiled at her guests. "So tell me what you've been up to!"

Vlad considered. "I know you met the House Ghosts, Professor Binns, and Myrtle at the Christmas party." Remus gasped. "Have they told you of the recent developments?"

The green ghost thought for a moment. "Recent is relative. They told me that 300 years ago, there was an international wizard law that stated that magic users were to keep magic and the knowledge of magic away from non-users. This, of course, makes no sense to me.

"When my brother and I were mere children, we had no particular magic of our own. An itinerant wizard – I think his name was Nysander – traveled and my parents gave him shelter. He traveled in foul weather, and he was ill. We nursed him back to health, and… We were to host a ball in celebration."

Danny's eyes grew wide as he thought of some of her earlier comments.

She continued. "Our kingdom was overtaken by invaders. I was too young to understand all the implications. But our parents were killed. The wizard protected us."

"Oh, Dora!" Danny grabbed her hand.

"Needless to say, the ball was cancelled. I've always been sore about it."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Invaders massacred your kingdom, and you were sore about a ball?"

"Well, besides a celebration of Nysander's restored health, it was to be my 'coming out' ball, where I would no longer be treated as a child, but as a functional adult in society."

Severus stared. "A convention that is only three or four centuries old. Your youth was sixteen centuries ago."

Princess Dora's ire was up. She changed into a dragon and bellowed, "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

Her five guests trembled. Severus cleared his throat. "Yes, of course. I apologize for interrupting you."

She reverted to human form, retook her seat, and nodded sharply. "That's better. As I was saying, I was a child of sixteen. Perhaps I should have been more aware. Perhaps I should have been aware of many things. However, the ball is where I would have been acknowledged as an adult for the first time. And that is besides all the dancing, and the glamour of it all, and perhaps even meeting the man I might marry."

Severus wisely kept any more remarks about Dora's anachronistic history to himself.

"But the wizard saw that my brother and I were no longer protected by our parents. He gave my brother and I these charmed necklaces, telling us that with these charms, we would always be able to protect ourselves."

Danny murmured, "Turning into a dragon would have that effect."

"Before Nysander left us, he told Aragon that he was in charge. I don't know what happened. We became ghosts, and this section of the Ghost Zone was called Aragon, for my brother. It looks a lot like home." She stared off to the side. "As long as we seemed to stay the same age, I had to listen to him, like Nysander told me. Because that was what proper princesses did – be happy, and proper, and subservient, and obedient. And so, Aragon managed to stop time. It wasn't until Sam told me that I was just as smart and powerful as my brother that I even thought to question…"

Danny quipped, "That explains a few things."

She looked up at Severus and Remus. "So saying that magical people are supposed to keep magic away from those born without magic is nonsense."

Remus nodded slowly. "Coming from your perspective, I see why you would say such a thing. But if you heard Sir Nicholas's own story of how he became a ghost, I would imagine that would explain why – for the last 300 years – the Wizarding World, as we know it, would rather stay unknown to people who would otherwise persecute us for having abilities they don't have, and don't care to understand.

"Maybe there are non-magical people who could handle the idea of all things magical, like Vlad and Danny, but people like Harry's natural aunt and uncle would have no problem torturing a child for the crime of being born a wizard."

Dora looked at the boy on her left who flushed red. "I'm sorry to hear that you were used so ill. I hope such people who would hurt you have been brought to justice?"

"Oh, they were," Vlad answered. "I made sure of that."

Dora raised her eyebrows. "What did you do?"

Vlad smirked. "With some well-placed photographs, audio-tapes, and other evidence, I pressed charges. The police in London were very obliging that way."

Dora covered her mouth with a hand. "Oh, dear."

"Were you expecting something else?"

"With you, Plasmius, no one ever knows what to expect."

"Fair enough, I suppose."

Severus thought for a moment. "So you know about the Wizarding World."

"Well, in a very general way," the princess corrected. "While Plasmius has many talents, and could serve as a professor wherever he had a mind to, I'm rather guessing that Professor Binns would not be tolerated to remain a professor except in a school where ghosts are accepted as a matter of course. He said that he taught at Hogwarts, and Sir Nicholas said he was a graduate of Hogwarts. Baron Philip was the second son of Lord Salazar Slytherin, who was one of the Founders of Hogwarts, which is a school of witchcraft and wizardry."

Severus's eyes grew wide. "The Bloody Baron's name is Philip?"

"Yes, and the Grey Lady is Lady Helena Ravenclaw, daughter of Rowena."

Harry said, "Wow. I wonder why the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron don't want their names widely circulated."

Vlad answered, "Both the Lady and the Baron have done things they aren't proud of, and prefer to have – what they think of as – their private shame not ascribed to the Founders they were descended from."

Harry nodded. "That makes sense."

Dora furrowed her brows in concentration. "You have mentioned the Wizarding World, and you know of the House Ghosts and Cuthbert."

Harry frowned. "Cuthbert?"

"Professor Binns," Danny explained.

Princess Dora rubbed her forehead. "Have you, as wizards, gone to Hogwarts?"

Severus looked indignant, while Remus looked surprised. Harry was terribly amused. Danny gave a half-smile, and Vlad nodded. "Indeed, they have and are. _I_ wasn't going to tell the secret of the Wizarding World. I hadn't told the Ghostwriter, either. The fact that the House Ghosts were a bit more free with that secret amongst ghosts was their business."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "I _will_ find an indignity to visit upon you for this, Vlad."

Vlad smirked. "Ah, it's been a while since we've had such an exchange. I might even look forward to it. But not in the Ghost Zone. I've got more than a home field advantage."

Harry shook his head at Dad and Uncle Vlad's antics. He said, "Yes, Princess Dora. Dad and Uncle Remus are Hogwarts graduates. Danny and I are students. Dad is a Potions Master and is our Potions professor. He's also Danny's Head of House, as they are in Slytherin. Uncle Remus, my natural parents, and my godfather were in Gryffindor, like me, and Uncle Remus and Uncle Vlad are the best Defense Against the Dark Arts professors we've ever had."

Dora smiled at him. "Thank you for explaining that, Harry. That fills in the gaps I've been struggling with." She thought for a moment. "But Danny and Plasmius aren't wizards."

Danny said, "I know. See…" He closed his eyes and took a breath. Opening his eyes, he began, "Last year, on July 20, a bunch of evil wizards murdered my family and friends, and massacred my town. I came to Papá, 'cause I didn't know where else to go. And Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, explained that the safest place for me to hide from and prepare to face the evil wizards responsible for the death and destruction of Amity Park was his school."

Dora's face fell. "Oh, Danny!"

Vlad's face lost all trace of amusement. "You will be glad to know that in February, we destroyed the mastermind of all kinds of death and destruction, a menace to Wizarding Society since he killed little Myrtle… it will be 55 years this year since she died."

Severus cleared his throat. "However, Tom had about a ten year hiatus from the day he first targeted my son and his natural parents and Harry's first year at Hogwarts."

"Dad!" Harry could tell they were about to cover 'hero' territory, and he wasn't sure he wanted to go there.

Severus patted his hand. "I promise I'll be tasteful. Harry has been as much a celebrity for his longevity in the face of his battles with Tom Riddle, the evil wizard, as Sir Daniel is for his many feats of heroism against evil ghosts." He saw Daniel stiffen, but the boy relaxed. Severus nodded at him.

Danny thought for a moment. "Okay. Now, you know that folks in the Ghost Zone don't really know you yet, and as you can see, no one's going to bug you about being the 'Boy Who Lived'." Princess Dora shot a curious glance at Harry after that. "So what did Uncle Severus mean when he said that you have more status than they do? I'm not going to treat you different, or anything, but I want to know. What gives?"

Harry gave an awkward smile. "Well… On June 25, Dad and I went with Professor Dumbledore and my cousin Dudley to Godric's Hollow. It was the first time I went to see my parents, and in the cemetery, I found a few surprises."

Princess Dora covered her mouth. "Oh! I'm sorry, Harry. Severus said your natural parents were targeted. Now I understand – they were killed… what an odd name, the Boy Who Lived. But such a title! Obviously, you were a boy – you still are. How old were you?"

"Fifteen months, your Highness."

She patted his hand. "I'm very sorry to hear of it. Such a title couldn't have been very comforting, as it would be a constant reminder that your parents were lost and you were not."

Harry gave a wry smile. "The Wizarding World was more interested in celebrating an icon than taking note of my personal comfort, Princess." Her face turned grim. "Since Dad adopted me, he's done amazing things to correct the situation. And I have no idea what Uncle Vlad did, but he's responsible for the arrest of my abusive aunt and uncle."

Vlad smiled. "Why, thank you for saying so, Harry."

"Between… whatever it is you did and Dad," Harry squeezed Severus's hand, "it was more than anyone else ever did. The Weasleys are great, but…"

"But it wasn't their responsibility to make up for the shortfall of the Headmaster, who placed you in the Dursleys' care; your Head of House, who didn't encourage you to speak up about yourself or your situation; or even me. But this isn't the time or place for a recital of _my_ shortcomings towards you." Severus closed his eyes for a moment.

After that moment, he looked at Danny and continued Harry's story. "We learned that the Dumbledores once lived in Godric's Hollow. We learned that Harry has quite an illustrious ancestry, and we learned that Harry is a direct descendant of Godric Gryffindor."

Danny's eyes grew wide. "Whoa. Cool!" Harry disengaged his hands and clasped them on the table in front of him.

Severus continued. "All of the Founders had noble titles. So between everything Harry inherited as a Potter, there is something to be said. And everything… Sirius… left him _also_ involved a title or two, since Harry inherited everything from the Ancient and Noble House of Black." Harry sighed sadly.

"Perhaps, some time in August, we'll visit Gringotts," Severus turned to the princess. "That's the wizards' bank that's run by goblins." He turned back to Danny and Vlad. "We'll sort through everything. It won't change things in class, but it might – and I do mean might – change the harshness of the Dursleys' punishment. However, I can almost guarantee that it will change Harry's political standing in the magical world."

Harry hid his face in his hands. "Great. Just one more difference between me and everyone else."

Danny said, "Harry, don't. Between the advice given to me by Queen Anne and the House Ghosts, once that type of thing is acknowledged, don't go nuts because of it. Be yourself, but um… let them give you the honor. You might have inherited it, but you know… you deserve it. And your real friends will be the same as they ever were."

Harry shrugged. "I guess. It's just… all of that, whatever it is, is impressive for this wonderful _idea_, but it's not really me. I mean… I don't know. It's just one more thing for people to make a fuss over, all the while ignoring what I really feel about it."

Everyone looked thoughtful at that, but Vlad frowned. "Then don't fuss with what other people feel." How could he describe the joys of VIP treatment to one who wasn't having any of it? "Think of it as a very exclusive club. And even though you inherited your entry, your deeds have more than proved that you deserve the honors that are involved."

"I don't care about the club. It's just one more set of expectations I'll have to deal with and feel like a failure for not doing it right, when no one has explained what those expectations are."

Severus got out of his chair so he could fully embrace his son. "Harry, son, the most important thing to remember is that the title of yours that I'll cherish above all others is 'son.' The fact that you are, by word, deed, and legacy, of a worth beyond measure by merchant's weights or muse's lyric is only bonus.

"The moment I decided I wanted you as my own had nothing to do with your wealth, power, skill, or fame. It was that your simple response to my change of behavior towards you was _gratitude_, of all things. You are a treasure, and whatever titles you have are a quick reminder to the public of that fact."

Harry furrowed his brows. "A title doesn't guarantee the quality of one's character. Bellatrix Lestrange was born into the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. You can't tell me that she had anything that vaguely resembles… social redeeming values."

Severus and Remus looked at each other, as the right words to fix this wouldn't come. Danny surprised them all by saying, "Ya know… Sir Nicholas and Baron Philip – man, that is cool! – explained something important to me. Or, at least, it made sense to me. And maybe the way they said it makes more sense to me 'cause I'm an American and the idea of titled nobility is a seriously foreign concept. But the thing is, it's all about perception."

Vlad shook his head – that was a useful argument for Daniel, who was only in the limelight for half of his existence. As far as the Wizarding World was concerned, Harry had no down time. Perception wasn't the problem – the child had mythical hero status.

Vlad raised his eyebrows and said gently, "Dear Harry, I've had a chance to see the slime you've had to put up with. The fact that you've come through all your challenges as sweet and loving as you are only proves that you are a prince among men. Whether you find out if you're an actual prince or a lord, all it means is that you'll be recognized by more people for what you truly are." Vlad put an arm around Danny and nodded meaningfully at Harry.

Severus put an arm around the bemused boy. "I realize that you would prefer to be 'just Harry.' All of us here acknowledge you for you. But you are what you are, whatever that may be. And it gives us pleasure to acknowledge your greater influence beyond your charisma."

Danny recognized the error in his approach and tried again. "Harry, in the Wizarding World, you are going to attract attention just for existing. You know this. Just… this way, I'm guessing you can control more of it. Like we said in March, it's a skill; how you use it is up to you."

Harry reflected on this. Ron may never forgive him for having a title in addition to everything else. Hermione would take it all in stride and wonder. He looked up at the encouraging gazes of his two favorite uncles, his Dad, Danny, and the princess. Taking a deep breath, he stared up at Severus. "Alright, I suppose I can do this, especially once we go to Gringotts once I'm of age. But I won't stand for being sneered at and called a _pampered prince_, no matter what my official title or titles may be."

Severus winced. "I see why you would be wary. But I can hardly tease you for a situation I more than gladly caused." Severus decided it was his job to pamper Harry, who may well turn out to be a prince.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me. You created all kinds of situations for the distinct purpose of harassing me."

The Potions Master sighed. He had a lot to answer for. He strove valiantly to repair the damage that he caused. He may never forgive himself for Harry's reluctance to grow into his own because of Severus's own past actions and choice epithets against the boy.

Princess Dora stared at the dark man. "I realize I'm late to be privy to whatever situation may exist. But I recognize a problem when I see one. I realize that my influence in the Human World is limited, but my knight, Sir Phantom, will help to make my word a reality. By royal command, we absolutely forbid you to cause any further distress to Lord Harry over his eminence, no matter what it may be. Do not defy this command – my dungeon has accommodations for humans, and I'm more than sure my brother could use the company."

Severus noted that the princess's eyes glowed menacingly in a way that would have made Voldemort jealous. Further, this was the first real interaction he had with royalty. It might be the first, but it wouldn't be the last. But more importantly, he realized that this was a very real consequence of his past behavior.

By royal decree, Princess Dora had commanded Daniel to punish him should the Potions Master abuse his position to torment Harry. Severus gulped, lowered his eyes, and responded, "I hear and obey, your Highness." He decided further commentary was unnecessary.

She glowered at him for a full minute, turned to Danny, and said, "Sir Danny, this is the first duty you shall have that you might not have thought of on your own. You are to monitor the situation, making regular reports, as regularly as every month, unless something more immediate is required, at which point you will take action. For you, my knight, _my_ word overrules Wizarding Law."

Danny shivered. "Yes, Princess." He looked up uncomfortably at his Head of House. "Um… Uncle Severus, I…"

Vlad cleared his throat. "Daniel, listen to me. This is correct and proper. Further, I'm sure your favorite professor has standing orders to make regular reports on my behavior with you. He, of course, reports to the Headmaster."

Dora rolled her eyes. "Oh, for the love of… Plasmius, what did _you_ do?"

Vlad closed his eyes. "If it pleases your Highness, I would prefer not to give a full recitation of my indiscretions against my son – we have places to go and other appointments on my son's behalf." He opened his eyes and peaked his eyebrows. In a respectful tone that displayed his impatience with himself, he continued, "If I gave a full list, we'd be here for a week and a half. The specific incident under discussion took place on October first of last year. I've been given disciplinary notice, and I've served appropriately to the best of my ability since then."

Remus piped up, "Your Highness, Severus and Vlad have had their moments, but with hard work, they have earned their fatherhood of these boys who are noble in every way. And… Sir Danny, I'm sure, will serve faithfully on Harry's behalf, as Severus serves on Danny's behalf."

She looked at the werewolf. "And you are a worthy friend to speak on their behalf."

Vlad and Severus shared a glance, knowing that they deserved to be dressed down in this fashion. They _were_ working diligently to make it up to the boys they once abused, but it was not often that these proud men were made to feel this level of shame.

Danny and Harry sat bemused. They had forgiven their adopted fathers, but the pain and fear was still there.

Dora nodded to her chastened guests. "So, Sir Danny, how has _your_ summer been?"

* * *

><p>The next morning, Dora hugged Harry and Danny, and the five companions from Hogwarts were given a royal send-off. Once Danny set course for the Far Frozen, he aired a concern he had on his mind.<p>

"You know, last time Papá and I went to the Far Frozen, the Ghostwriter won the right to keep Morph for the week 'cause he made a really good point. The Far Frozen has Arctic, or Antarctic, temperatures, and either way, it will be too cold for my girl. While Papá had no problem commandeering the services of the Ghostwriter," he stopped to glare at Vlad, who smirked and nodded in acknowledgement. "Morph is with us this time. This vehicle is climate controlled, and while the palace will be fine, it's the whole 'carrying Morph from ship to palace' that has me concerned."

Remus smiled. "That's what warming charms are for."

Vlad thought for a moment. "Harry, when it's time, I don't see why _you_ couldn't cast it."

Harry shook his head. "I'd love to, Uncle Vlad, but I don't become of age until the 31st."

Giving him a sidelong glance, Vlad said, "That's right, the Trace. But Harry, we're in the Ghost Zone, which is in an alternate dimension. I'm absolutely positive that no Wizarding tracking device will ever find you here."

Harry shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm not above the rules, and there's no pressing need for me to go out of bounds of those rules."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "I don't know if Daniel's told you, but I've been known to give points for creative rule breaking, especially if you don't get caught."

The temperature in the cabin dropped by a degree as Harry's glare became icy and his expression turned stony. "I'm not an arrogant brat who thinks I'm above the rules, like my _father_. _Both_ of them, apparently." Blood drained from Severus's face.

Vlad turned to watch this exchange between the wizards. "I beg your pardon?"

Harry pursed his lips as he tried to think of how to phrase this. "Severus has harangued me from the moment I set foot in his classroom to some random point last October for any irregularity. An attention-seeking glory-hound who reveled in every exception to the rules extended to me is what you called me. Or, is it only that breaking rules is odious to you as long as I'm James's son, but it's okay for _your_ son to break them!"

Severus peaked his eyebrows as he realized the truth in Harry's words. At the time, he absolutely reveled in Harry's pain and discomfort as Severus pointed out every time something abnormal or irregular happened to or around Harry. He could hardly fault the boy for not wanting to give him an excuse to dish out more of the same.

The last place anyone expected an outburst of anger to come from was Remus Lupin. Remus noticed Harry's omission of the title 'Dad' for Severus, and he would set the Potions Master straight.

Remus growled, causing the other four occupants of the Specter Speeder to jump in surprise and a little fear. "Severus Snape, your license to share light-hearted rule breaking with Harry was revoked the first time you wrongfully accused him of being an arrogant rule breaker who thought he was above the rules _like his father_. No matter how you formulated whatever chosen epithet you used at any given time, you caused a theretofore unloved orphan untold pain by constantly referring to his supposed misdeeds.

"The year that I was a professor at Hogwarts, you accused Harry of _strutting_ like he owned the place, or whatever. _James_ strutted, true. _Lucius_ strutted. Harry simply sought a modicum of normalcy, and had to fight off unwanted notoriety. Based on my own observations and our correspondence, I believe that Harry's rule-breaking was by and large only used to save people who were in trouble.

"The _only_ time that vaguely came close to breaking a rule for the purpose of fun was when he managed to get to Hogsmeade without permission in his Third Year. Even _that_ wasn't to flaunt the breaking of rules, but a chance to break out of a Dursley-induced prison.

"But _every_ faculty meeting, you kept harping about 'that nasty, arrogant brat,' talking about how smug he was, flaunting…" Remus clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, balling his fists, to rein in his anger.

Severus had known the man since they were eleven, and he had never been this afraid of the werewolf, even as he was when Sirius used him to try to kill Snape in Fifth Year.

Remus opened his eyes and stared the man down. "You will listen to me, Severus Snape. You will make it your business to help Harry keep to the boundaries of the rules society, particularly Wizarding Society, set forth. You will _not_ suggest any 'Slytherin trick,' and will treat that idea as distasteful as whatever you had in mind for the 'Marauder prodigy,' or I will not be responsible for my reaction as a consequence. Do I make myself clear?"

Severus trembled. Not all of the years he served as a spy prepared him for this precise moment. James and Sirius were vicious when it came to bullying, so it was easy to scorn them. But Remus spoke with the righteous wrath of judgment.

Severus took a breath, steadying himself so his voice wouldn't crack, and answered, "Crystal, Remus."

After closing his eyes, Severus focused on a fact he blithely ignored until now: he and Harry were the only two pure humans in the cabin, and all three non-humans could destroy him with pure brute strength if they chose. And all three of them loved Harry, and would make him pay most severely for any further abuse of Harry.

Taking another cleansing breath, Snape opened his eyes and looked at his son. "I'm sorry, Harry. As I've said before, no amount of apologies will cover all the damage that I've wrought over the years, and I've only recently begun to see more evidence of that damage. I can only beg you to forgive me and request that you give me a chance to do better, and to repair things as best as I am able."

Harry maneuvered himself so that he sat next to the dark man. "I've got a lot of healing to do, and there are parts and pieces of me that may never be quite right, but not all of it was caused by you. I see that you're trying to fix it, and… thank you for trying, Dad."

Severus didn't care what anyone thought of him. Tears cascaded down his cheeks and he clung to the boy who had forgiven him and called him Dad. "Thank you," he whispered.

Vlad shook his head. "They are far too good for us, Severus. We don't deserve them, by any stretch of the imagination. But they chose us anyway." He looked at Harry as Severus cuddled him, and then at Danny. "The job that we have inexplicably been blessed with is to protect our most valuable treasure. The hard part is recognizing…" Vlad stared at the ceiling, searching for strength. "That the reason they are as pure as they are is that _we_ are largely responsible for torturing the dross out of them."

"Uh, Papá?"

Vlad mirthlessly laughed at himself. "Based on how the public at large treated our Harry and Daniel, and the way _we_ complicated the issues, by rights, either or both of them could have been far more dangerous Dark Lords than our particularly fertile imaginations can conceive."

"Uncle Vlad?" After sharing a glance with Danny, Harry wasn't sure this confession of painful truths that put the teens present on ever higher pedestals was something he wanted to hear.

Remus relented, allowing his anger to abate, realizing that his fearful negligence didn't leave him blameless. "It is as Professor Dumbledore said: our choices show what we truly are. And every one of us here, for one reason or another, has been pressured into making some very difficult choices. I would say that it's our job to keep making the right choices, and to help those we love to find the proper choices."

Danny sighed gustily. "Okay. We get it. Between Papá and Uncle Severus, you made _really _bad choices which caused me and Harry a lot of pain, respectively. Uncle Remus, you made some really _dumb_ choices about Uncle Severus and Harry. And everybody's _really_ sorry about all these bad choices. Can we wrap this up?

"We're, like, minutes away from the Far Frozen, where they've called me 'the Great One,' and made a shrine to me, and everything. Can we find a little perspective so that I'll be able to deal with this rationally?"

The three adults snapped their mouths shut. There was a time and a place for these cathartic confessions, but Harry and Danny made their discomfort known such that Remus, Severus and Vlad recognized that this wasn't such a time or place.

Harry let go of his Dad and stared at Danny. "Excuse me?"

After his outburst, Danny struggled to find the words to explain and gave up. "Look – we're entering the cave. They'll explain it when we finish getting there. Now would be a great time to get into your winter wear, and/or a Fenton Jacket. And could an authorized adult cast a Warming Charm on Morph and her carrying case?"

No one answered him as the three wizards ogled the ice caverns and the stalactites and stalagmites and wondered which were made of ice and which were made of stone. Danny sighed – it would be a while before he got anyone's attention.

Once they found the lowest level of the cave, Danny landed the Specter Speeder, and Severus, Remus, and Harry finished bundling up. Remus took care of the cat.

Opening the door gave the wizards a shock of cold. Severus shivered, but his voice remained steady. "What is the temperature, here?"

Danny answered, "The last reading for the external temperature was –25 degrees Fahrenheit."

Remus marveled at Danny's ghostly costume. "And you are perfectly comfortable as you are."

Danny nodded. "Well, yeah. As a ghost, I'd have a lower body temperature, anyway. But my ectoplasm centers on a cold core."

Vlad stiffened as he sensed the approach of the ghosts who still considered him hostile. "Ah. Prepare for company."

Two yetis in a patrol hover-skiff approached. "The Great One has arrived with… Plasmius and guests." They could bear calling the villainous half-ghost Danny's guardian, but thinking of him as their hero's new father was more than they could handle. "Welcome once again to the Far Frozen."

Danny thought about Sir Nicholas's words and decided not to cringe at the royal title (of sorts) he'd been given. "Thanks, guys. Do you have room for the five of us, our stuff, and my cat?"

"Absolutely. Anything for you, Great One."

Harry was too cold to remove his scarf from his mouth to talk, so he had to wait to get somewhere warmer before he could ask his myriad of questions.

One of the yetis focused on Danny. "There are many who will be excited at your presence once again."

Danny frowned in thought. "Thanks for saying so, Ice Pick was it?"

"Ah, you remembered."

Vlad smiled with pride – this visit, his son accepted the attentions of the denizens of the Far Frozen with grace. He blushed too much to have a convincing level of dignity, but the boy didn't refuse or complain about the rather excessive attention he received.

Remus's voice was warm as he shivered with cold. "So _that_ is your other title, Danny: the Great One. What status is that, and what was it for?"

Ice Pick smiled at young Danny's guest. "Even our Great Ruler defers to him. And Danny Phantom's title was conferred upon him when he defeated the Ghost King, Pariah Dark. Perhaps later, you can visit our humble shrine to the Great One."

Danny opened and closed his mouth to no useful effect. The shrine was _fantastic_. There were cave paintings depicting every scene of the event known to ghosts. He was afraid to respond, because anything he would say would either sound like false modesty or ingratitude.

Harry mumbled through his scarf, "At least it was for an actual accomplishment."

When they arrived at the palace, they were greeted with trumpets and fanfare. Harry's eyes boggled, and Danny whispered to himself, "Remember what Sir Nicholas said. Let them be proud of me. I can do this."

Harry, Severus, and Remus stood close and nodded when they saw a yeti with great horns and a translucent blue forearm step down and cross the throne room to greet the group. "Great One! It is a pleasure to see you again only months since your first visit." He picked Danny up in an affectionate bear hug.

Harry immediately thought of Hagrid and felt vaguely homesick for Hogwarts.

Once Danny was placed back on the floor, he smiled up at the leader. "It's good to see you, too, Frostbite."

"And who are these you've brought with you?"

Danny repressed an urge to squirm. "You already know Papá."

"Indeed. And it is good to see that he has continued to act in good faith in that capacity."

Vlad sighed. He still had no favor, but at least he wasn't being challenged. "It's good to see you, too, Great Ruler."

Remus and Severus nodded, as they now knew the proper address of this non-humanoid royalty.

Danny gestured towards the wizards. "These people are friends who have become relatives, who I met in school last year. The first who I felt a strong connection to, and now think of as a cousin, is Harry Potter-Snape."

Harry stepped forward. "It's good to meet you, sir."

Frostbite smiled at him. "You look like Danny Phantom in human form."

Harry smiled back – he was used to being recognized first, and it felt good to be an afterthought for a change. "So I've noticed, sir."

Danny nodded. "And this is his father, Professor Severus Snape."

Severus murmured, "Thank you, Daniel." As much as he valued his relationship to the noble half-ghost, the Potions Master was proudest of his title as Harry's father, and despite all the insanity and guilt, this was the relationship Daniel chose to highlight.

Danny grinned. "No problem, Uncle Severus."

Frostbite nodded. "The Great One must value you highly to be mentioned as a cousin and an uncle. Welcome."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, Great Ruler."

Danny gestured, "And this is a very good friend who I also think of as an uncle, Remus Lupin."

"Greetings, Remus Lupin."

"Thank you, sir." Remus was beyond relieved and grateful to be thought of and treated as an equal and normal. While Princess Dorathea was regal in her own right, it was clear that the people of the Far Frozen were far more formal. The fact that Remus was not quite human might not have registered in the presence of the green ghosts of Aragon. Here, it was clear that Remus was far more human than these creatures (it was hard to believe that they were indeed ghosts), and he felt a strong sense of belonging to the group he came in with.

Frostbite was pleased with this group that Danny Phantom brought with him, but something troubled the Great One. Ice Pick and Blizzard brought in the light burdens of Danny and Plasmius. Blizzard opened the carrying case and a black cat with white highlights jumped into Danny's arms.

Frostbite smiled. "And who is this?"

Danny blushed. "Frostbite, this is Morph. Just after…" He closed his eyes. "Amity Park was massacred, the headmaster of my new school came…" Vlad stood behind him, putting an arm around him giving Danny comfort and strength to open his eyes and continue. "Well, we were taken to Britain. When we went shopping in London to get all my school supplies, Papá surprised me with a stop to a pet shop. Papá has taken care of all of my needs, but Morph was… an adoption gift. Even before we agreed on adoption."

Frostbite looked to Plasmius and saw the love the villain had for his adopted son. "Interesting."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "You were saying, Great Ruler?"

"That's enough, Plasmius."

Severus realized that there must be quite a story here, but now was neither the time nor the place to delve into it.

Danny peaked his eyebrows. "Frostbite, could we set up someplace warm for her? I mean, right now, we have plenty to talk about, and she seems to be happy right where she is, but later we'll be busy, and…" He trailed off, not sure how much he was supposed to say about his guests.

"Absolutely, Great One. All of your needs and the needs of your party will be seen to." Frostbite gestured to people around the room, and they took all of the bags and packages from the humans and they, along with Ice Pick and Blizzard, carried the luggage off to what would be their rooms.

"Thanks, Frostbite, but, um… how…" Danny wasn't sure how to formulate his question.

The Great Ruler chuckled. "Young Danny, we would hardly be able to study carbon-based biology as thoroughly as we have if we didn't have the facilities to house patients of a warm-blooded variety."

Severus looked up curiously. "Carbon-based?"

Remus furrowed his brows. "I would imagine that would be as opposed to ectoplasm-based. Danny's made clear that – what we would think of as – biology of the living is significantly different than biology, chemistry, and physics of ghosts."

Frostbite smiled with satisfaction. "Very perceptive, Remus Lupin. You appear to be more than passingly interested in our studies of biology."

Vlad flew up to be eye level with Frostbite. "Well, about that… Remus's studies is one of the objectives of today's visit."

The great yeti quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yes. The Great One could use the services of your people in a pediatric capacity."

Frostbite frowned in concern. "Oh! Is anything wrong, Danny?" He was torn between proper decorum and picking up his hero to start a preliminary exam.

Danny cringed. "Not exactly. But a check-up would be useful. I haven't really had one since before my accident, and um… between a physical for boarding school and, um, other developmental concerns…" When Papá discussed this, it made sense. But here, in front of all these people, he was severely self-conscious.

"Ah. I understand, Great One. Your concerns will be attended to with all possible haste. But for now, please allow my people to show you to your rooms. I expect that we shall have your company for some days, and you shall have a chance to settle. We will discuss scheduling at the Welcoming Feast. You will be directed to the dining room in an hour."

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><p>Next chapter: the doctor's appointment.<p> 


	6. Danny's Doctor Visit, Part IV

Danny's Doctor Visit, Part IV: The Doctor's Appointment

All the chapters involving the Doctor Visit have been building to this chapter. I hope it is what you have been waiting for.

I offer you all Nestlé's Chocolate Turtles and milk in appreciation for your support for this story.

The idea of how far Danny will age was inspired by Soului.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_, _Harry Potter_, or the Smurfs.

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><p>No amount of sighing or pleading on Danny's part could dissuade the people in his party from attending his doctor's visit.<p>

"Just think of it this way, Daniel. King Louis XIV of France garnered an audience for most of his biological functions."

Danny scrunched his face. "Papá, all that tells me is that the French aristocracy had far too much time on their hands, and very little sense."

Severus chuckled. "Indeed, Daniel. There are a number of reasons the British have always been at odds with the French. Louis XIV is also the man who thought high heels were a good idea, as men's fashion."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "How better to show off his shapely calves?"

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Stop – just stop!" Danny grasped his hands as if he could remove the idea by clutching a ball of air directly in front of him.

Harry patted his back. "Highlighting celebrity foibles and peccadilloes only serves to make people feel better about themselves. Our adoptive fathers shouldn't throw stones."

Danny hung his head. "Yeah, I guess."

Remus smirked at the aforementioned adopted fathers and turned to Danny. "At least you can take comfort that the lot of us coming to attend your doctor's visit love and care about you. Also, I think we can trust Frostbite to remove unnecessary people if the information gets too explicit for comfort."

Danny lifted his head but shrugged one shoulder. "I can only hope. It's not like I really have any choice, here."

Frostbite rested a large hand on one of Danny's shoulders. "Your Uncle Remus speaks true, Great One. However, you will see that our procedures are mostly non-invasive."

"I guess. It's just that I'm a very private person, and we have a concept of doctor/ patient privilege. That goes out the window if my exam is so public."

Frostbite chuckled. "You haven't thought this through in its entirety. Young Danny, _no one _in the Human World will have access to our records here but those present. No one but your closest family will know or be able to reach us here, and no one else will care."

"Okay," Danny conceded reluctantly.

They arrived at the medical facility, and Frostbite spoke with a receptionist yeti, and brought the small party to an examination room that was on a much larger scale to accommodate the size of the people of the Far Frozen. "Danny, please take a seat up here."

Danny flew up to the padded surface of the examination table.

Frostbite nodded and consulted a checklist in a folder. Presumably, this would become Danny's file. "In order for these numbers to make sense to you, we'll start the exam in your human form."

Danny jerked his head. "Really?"

"It will work better this way."

"Okay." Danny summoned his rings and transformed.

Harry murmured, "I've only seen that a few times, and it's still cool to watch."

Severus nodded. "Agreed."

Frostbite provided a wool blanket for Danny, who was only dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. "The first thing we'll do is take your temperature."

Danny asked, "Fahrenheit or Celsius?"

"For you, Fahrenheit. I want to make this as comfortable for you as I can."

The thermometer used resembled a jumbo-sized novelty pencil that was two inches wide and two feet long. It didn't seem to be filled with mercury or alcohol, but some form of ectoplasm.

Danny quailed. "You're not going to make me put that in my mouth, are you?"

"Not at all. This wasn't designed to fit in any human-sized orifice. I would have you turn it intangible and stick the sensor in your chest, just under your shoulder."

Danny raised his eyebrows. "Okay. For how long should I hold it there?"

"Sixty seconds is sufficient."

"Right, then." Danny grimaced as he impaled himself with the intangible thermometer.

While Danny watched the second hand on his watch, Severus said, "I noted that you had Daniel turn the thermometer intangible. How would you take _my_ temperature, if it were necessary?"

Frostbite answered, "I would turn it intangible for you. But as a ghost, it is only courteous to offer him the option to do it for himself."

"… fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty. Okay." Danny pulled the thermometer out. "It says 98.6."

Frostbite nodded. "As it should. You've mentioned that you were in perfect health, to the best of your knowledge." He took the thermometer away. Using a stethoscope on a similar scale, Frostbite slipped the pad under the blanket and listened to Danny's whole back, as he instructed the boy to breath deeply.

"Frostbite, this thing is huge. When you put it on my front, will you really be able to hear my heart?"

The yeti smiled patiently. "Danny, when I checked your lungs, I could hear the blood flowing in your pulmonary capillaries, your kidneys, liver, and gallbladder. The instrument is sensitive enough for me to hear your heart and the functions of your stomach, intestines, pancreas, and spleen."

Harry stood in awe as he contemplated this. "Is the instrument responsible for that detailed a report, or is it because of a ghost's senses that you can pick this up?"

"It is a bit of both, young Harry. Your perceptivity is admirable." Harry smiled back in response.

When the stethoscope's use was complete, everyone marveled at the simplicity in method and the complexity of the heightened senses of ghosts used to take Danny's blood pressure: Frostbite held Danny's upper arm between his thumb and index finger with different pressures.

Danny asked, "Okay, that is seriously cool for someone human size. How would you take the blood pressure of someone your own size?"

Frostbite chuckled. "With an appropriately sized cuff of the variety you might be more familiar with."

Severus's mind raced. "That means that ghosts who aren't also human have blood pressure, as well."

"In a fashion, Severus," Frostbite explained. "Ghosts that are primarily tangible have something comparable to blood pressure. For example, I do not have blood running through my veins, but ectoplasm. When in their ghost forms, so do Danny and Vlad. Blood is red, as you well know. Ectoplasm in our kind of ghost is green.

"Ghosts that are primarily intangible, like your honorable Sir Nicholas, don't have enough substance for their ectoplasm to flow beyond an opaque silver pooling that serves as a blush, when emotion requires it. The ectoplasm of your Bloody Baron will never pour out further than it has, as it won't flow further than an opaque silver flush."

Danny furrowed his brows. "Why is there such a difference between the Hogwarts-type ghosts and us?"

Frostbite sighed sadly. "That is one of the many mysteries about ghosts. No one knows _why_ there is such a difference. We only know _that_ there is a difference. It is for this reason Sir Nicholas can happily join the Headless Hunt, but we never could."

Danny shivered under his blanket, and Frostbite decided to move on. He took Danny's height and weight and frowned thoughtfully. "Interesting."

"Mr. Frostbite, what's interesting?"

"With the training schedule your… father described during our Yuletide visit, I would have expected you to gain far more muscle mass. From your particular ancestry, your body should show… Great One, you were sixteen years last April; therefore, you should at least have the same facial hair development as young Harry. But your powers have increased at an incredible rate, and that is only what I have gleaned through casual discussion with Vlad. It is a fascinating set of developments."

Danny frowned. "So, it's like my human half stopped growing while my ghost half keeps doing bigger and better things."

"Not at all, young Danny. If that were so, your ghost form would be larger than it is. I have a theory."

Vlad narrowed his eyes in concern. "What would that be?"

Frostbite raised his eyebrows in surprise. While he knew, intellectually, that Plasmius adopted Danny, the compassion and concern the villainous ghost showed to the boy he previously tormented always seemed unexpected.

Speaking to the concerned parent, the leader answered, "Danny's powers are growing exponentially. However, in order to be certain, I'll need to take both a blood sample and an ectoplasmic sample."

Becoming increasingly impatient, Vlad set his jaw, bared his fangs, and spat, "Certain of what, Frostbite?"

"Which type of ghost Danny's development is patterned after."

Vlad gasped and jerked his head as he processed this. As things stood, Vlad couldn't even be sure if Daniel's power development followed his own power development. He peaked his eyebrows – he truly was afraid and concerned for his boy.

Danny sighed. "Do you want the samples before or after you take my vitals in my ghost form?"

Frostbite smiled soothingly at his patient. "After will be fine, Danny." Danny nodded and transformed. The three wizards paid more attention, as Danny's ghost form was still a complete mystery.

It surprised them to see that Danny's temperature, as a ghost, was 75 degrees Fahrenheit. As a human, Danny's blood pressure was a normal 120/80. As a ghost, he had a pressure reading of 20/10, and the humans didn't understand it.

Danny shrugged and explained. "When you see it, it might make more sense to you. Blood is a thick liquid. Ectoplasm is more… viscous. You might compare it to sludge. I'm not sure if it's actually in veins, but it does move. And when I've been cut, it does flow. Kinda."

Everyone watched in fascination as Frostbite proceeded to measure Danny's assorted vital signs.

When it came time to take the blood and ectoplasm samples, they were surprised to see Frostbite take out four standard needles, presumably to fill the 20 sample vials, and all were of a size that humans would normally use.

Danny looked up with dismay and fear. "Mr. Frostbite, what do you need four needles for?" He was not about to question his doctor and friend, but all of those needles and vials were daunting.

"Two are for you, Danny, and two are for Vlad." Danny let out a slow, relieved breath. All of that wasn't just for him.

Vlad glared at the doctor. "I beg your pardon!" This was Daniel's check-up, not his!

Frostbite smirked. "It is all very simple, and it addresses the theory I've mentioned before. Once we've taken Danny's samples, we need a control to test them against. You, Vlad, are a biologically mature half-ghost. It makes sense to see how Danny's cell growth compares to yours." Vlad growled indignantly, but didn't complain further.

Severus eyed the needles and commented, "And two needles for each half-ghost, so that the blood doesn't contaminate the ectoplasm, and vice-versa. That would be… five tests for each fluid collected."

"Precisely." Severus nodded. Vlad rolled his eyes with resignation, and Danny snickered as his fears calmed.

Remus noted and asked, "All of your other tools take the size of the physician into consideration. These needles, applicators, and vials are all scaled down for human size. Why is there a difference?"

"Good Remus, the scale is down-sized for necessity. With smaller tools, there is less room to make a mistake in taking a dangerously sized sample."

Harry frowned. "It would be like a human taking a blood sample from a Smurf."

Frostbite cocked his head in confusion, as Vlad and Severus blinked in disbelief. Danny snickered and said, "Yeah, that makes sense."

Remus shook his head and decided that he would ask about this reference later.

Before the yeti reached for anything he set before Danny, Severus raised a hand in not-quite objection. "Great Ruler Frostbite, one moment, if I may."

Frostbite turned to him. "Yes, Good Severus?"

"I recognize your talents and great medical skill. However… I, as a Potions Master, have more than passing medical skill. If it doesn't pose a breach of social etiquette, I would feel more comfortable taking the biological samples from the half-ghosts. While I realize that you are more than qualified to perform any task necessary, these particular tools are a more comfortable fit in the hands of a being of my size."

Vlad, Remus, and Harry's eyes widened as they looked between Severus and Frostbite. Frostbite frowned for a moment as he considered the request, and then he smiled. "Thank you, Good Severus. While I have no trouble using the needles of that size, I have no objections to your assistance in this."

Danny was relieved of a worry he didn't know he had as the Potions Master reached for the blue rubber tourniquet. Harry commented, "I didn't know you were a medi-wizard, Dad."

Severus eyed the sample vials without looking up. "It wasn't a simple part of my Mastery. I had a very real need to know certain things as I participated in the Muggle World. Oddly enough, Riddle approved of my gaining this knowledge. I'd like to think I would have learned it anyway."

He inserted the needle into a vein on the inside of Danny's elbow with such care that the boy didn't even feel it. The collection vials were soon filled, and Severus removed the needle and pressed a square of gauze to the site.

Severus thought for a moment and asked, "Daniel, if you are bleeding in one form, does the wound carry over to the other?"

Danny considered. "Well… my human form is more delicate. I've been cut, I've lost adult teeth, I've been bruised… But once I've turned ghost, the wounds were healed. Except for that odd flu Tucker and I caught from my parents and Sam shortly after we first met Desiree.

"The same isn't true in reverse. If I've been injured to the point of leaking ectoplasm, I bleed blood once I've turned human. Still… either way, I heal pretty fast. If you let go of the gauze, my arm will be fully healed."

Severus narrowed his eyes in disbelief, but was astonished to see that his favorite nephew was correct. "Very well. Now transform." Harry smiled as he watched.

Danny rubbed a glove over the inside of the same arm and the black haz-mat suit had a hand-sized hole over the fold of his elbow.

"Wicked!" Harry breathed.

Danny grinned. "I think so, too."

Before he reached for the second needle, Severus asked, "At this point, I need to know: are a ghost's veins the same dimensions of human veins, or are there differences I should know about?"

Vlad answered, "I've found that there isn't an appreciable difference."

Danny cocked his head. "Papá, while it's good to know, why would you know that?"

Vlad nodded, acknowledging his son's question. "In my first years as a ghost, I had to learn of my new biological conditions. I took samples of both my blood and ectoplasm and I experimented." Vlad cleared his throat. "As you learned the hard way, I had access to anything I needed to discover my – and now our – new biological boundaries.

"For the record, caffeine does _not_ work as a stimulant, and alcohol takes at least twice as much to be effective as a depressant. However, I'd prefer that you stick to the legal American human morés when it comes to alcohol consumption without my explicit permission. I have yet to learn how alcohol will affect an adolescent half-ghost."

Danny furrowed his brows and opened his mouth as he tried to determine whether he should be indignant at the limitation, or proud that Vlad actually thought about what the senior Fentons would have done.

Vlad smirked. "It wouldn't do to have a drunken hero because he was curious before his body was ready to handle it, little badger."

Danny growled in frustration and Vlad laughed.

Severus grinned briefly as he inserted the second needle. "Not that I object to your determination, Vlad, but why American morés?"

Vlad sighed. "Perhaps it is from the States' Puritanical beginnings, or more likely a throwback from shortly after Prohibition was repealed, but regardless of why, the American legal drinking age (in most States that I'm aware of) is 21. The drinking age in Europe is younger, depending on which country. But the point is that his early 20s is long enough to wait until the end of simple healthful biological development.

"While I can't be certain of anything yet, I would prefer to have Daniel as old as I was before my accident before being more socially free with drinking, so I can be more comfortable with his development before making certain explorations." Vlad shivered, having nothing to do with the temperature. "While Daniel's powers are developing at a rate beyond description, I… am worried about other growth. Alcohol is just one more thing not to have to deal with as a random variable until… certain issues are resolved."

Vlad took Danny's unoccupied hand and let his sincere concern show as he gazed into his son's eyes.

Danny sighed. "It's okay, Papá. I… understand. I don't really have a problem with waiting. It's not that big a deal. Besides – I need to have my head clear, once the Ghost Zone ghosts go back to business as usual."

Frostbite chuckled. "A wise decision, Great One. Severus?"

The dark man nodded. "I've finished with collection from Daniel." He smirked at Vlad. "I believe it is your turn, Vlad. Please transform, take off your jacket, and roll up your sleeve."

Vlad sighed. "The things I do for you, child." Danny giggled. "Very well." He complied with Severus's request.

As Uncle Severus busied himself with taking samples from Vlad, Danny asked, "Papá? What is _your_ normal temperature as a ghost?"

"It is around 88 degrees Fahrenheit. It is cooler than healthy human temperature, but it is significantly warmer than your ghostly temperature because you have a cold core. I do not."

Harry observed the samples as they were collected. The blood looked like any other blood. The ectoplasm glowed as green as Danny's eyes did, which were a brighter green than his own were. "Uncle Vlad, I noticed that your, um, ecto-energy is pink, but your ectoplasm is as thick and green as Danny's. How come?"

Vlad smiled. "That is a very good question. From what I've been able to determine, as the Hogwarts (and I imagine other wizardly) ghosts have ectoplasm of silver, tangible ghosts all bleed green. As for the color of our energy… With concentration and practice, half-ghosts can use ecto-energy of green, blue, pink, and others. That is a matter of focus. But the most natural color of ecto-energy to use matches a ghost's eye color. Perhaps Frostbite can shed some light on the subject?"

"I can, but I'd rather start processing the samples. The sooner we start, the sooner we can find the answers to the more pressing questions. I won't forget the question you just asked, but dealing with the samples can be time sensitive."

Vlad grimaced as he realized he was wasting valuable time. "Yes, of course." He hoped to embarrass the yeti, because he knew that the multiple colored output of ecto-energy only comes naturally to a half-ghost, and he wasn't sure if Frostbite knew that. Skulker could use whatever color energy comes from his technology, but that isn't a function of his own energy but the weapons, tools, and toys he uses. Perhaps at another time, it would be good to discuss the hows and whys of the ecto-energy of individual ghosts are what they are.

For now, however, his own curiosity got the better of him. "So what tests are you planning on performing?"

Frostbite took the samples and crossed the room, giving the vials to other phlebotomist medi-yetis and answered. "One set of tests checks for viral and bacterial illnesses. One set is to check blood sugar, protein, lipids, and other things that could let us know of longer-term health concerns. The other three are to undergo processes that could help predict growth and development patterns. I am not sure if there are similar tests for healthy cells in human medicine.

"The vials of ectoplasm will have tests to look for illnesses common to ghosts. We have tests that involve aging the ectoplasm to see at what rate we can expect to see changes in bodily growth and power development.

"Some of the results will be ready in an hour. Some will be ready in a day or two."

Severus nodded, considering closely. "It sounds like you have tests here that work beyond any medicine I've ever heard of in human terms, Muggle or magical."

Frostbite smiled. "So I would imagine, Good Severus."

Danny frowned. "Mr. Frostbite, it sounds like… well, like some of these tests can tell you what I'll look like, when I'll grow up," Danny wasn't prepared to talk about _if_ he would grow up. "And what my powers can end up being."

"Well, Great One, we will have some ideas of when we can expect to see growth, and when such things will be complete. As I understand things from various discussions with your father, your powers are growing exponentially, and will probably continue to do so until well after puberty finishes. Your powers will still continue to develop, but probably not as dramatically in as short a stretch of time.

"As for what you will look like… Clockwork told me that you saw a possible permutation of your future self." Danny shuddered violently. Frostbite put a calming hand on Danny's back. "I don't know what you saw. The developmental changes and a lowering of the timbre of your voice will eventually happen."

Danny gulped. "Will I… turn blue like Papá, or have fiery hair or a fiery beard like Skulker?" Vlad and Harry concentrated hard on the answer.

"As far as your skin color goes… No. I see no reason that should change. As far as the fire goes… Neither Vlad's hair or beard as a ghost is fiery. I don't see why such things would change for you."

Danny sighed with relief. Even if he should develop to be as buff as his future evil self, he would _never_ look precisely the same as that… well, he wouldn't.

Harry stared at Danny with amazement. "You've seen a permutation of your future self?"

Everyone looked at Danny curiously. Vlad and Severus had a much better idea than most of what Danny might be thinking, but they weren't completely sure.

Danny eyed them all, including Frostbite. He thought about what to say. He took a breath and decided how to put this. "Okay. Some of you already know that my biggest fear… is turning evil. I've seen a possible outcome… I didn't like what I saw, and I vowed that I'd never become that.

"I've also seen what I might look like, nine years from now. But then again, what I saw was the outcome of a merging of Vlad's and my ghost halves. It… um… The most important thing is that it's never gonna happen."

Harry cocked his head. "But this… possible future ghost mixture is blue like Uncle Vlad and has fiery hair. How does that work?"

Danny gave a lopsided grin. "I don't know. It's a feature of some ghosts. Skulker, Ember, the Ghost King… They all have fiery hair. I have _no idea_ how that works." The grin turned into an inward glower. "And that… evil conglomeration of me and Vlad had fiery white hair, and a little white beard."

Remus approached and patted Danny's leg. "One reason that future possibility will never happen is that you were overwrought with sadness such that you were devoid of all hope. At present, you have all manner of people who love you and will give you hope if you are down. If you stick to your principles, and look to us for advice when you need it, you have nothing to fear, Danny. Nothing at all."

Danny was comforted. The visitors from the Real World stayed in quiet reflection as the tests were processed. Danny was given privacy so he could give the medi-yetis a urine sample.

Once all the biological samples were taken, the group was given a tour of the other facilities, the shrine, and the library of science and medicine. Both Remus and Severus lit up with dignified glee and wonder as they read through the books, journals, and other publications. Harry and Danny decided to read because they were curious to see how the biology texts compared to what they learned prior to Hogwarts. Vlad enjoyed watching his guests enjoy obtaining ghostly knowledge.

The rest of the time in the Far Frozen was spent in leisurely visits, tours, showing off Danny's training, and research. When the test results were ready, Frostbite pulled everyone from the Real World into a private office. "Young Danny, you will be glad to know that you are the picture of human and ghostly health. The conjectures I had about your power growth seem to be conclusive based on the tests we've done.

"Concerning your simple physical health, the good news is that we have concluded that you _will_ develop to maturity. In time, you will grow to the size and have the full bodily function of a man." Danny nodded. "Unfortunately," Danny held his breath. "We cannot say for certain when this will happen or what shape you will take. However, we have concluded that when you reach said maturity, you will…" Frostbite looked at the assemblage and considered his words.

He nodded and continued. "We have determined that you will eventually develop to how we believe young Harry will develop to be when he is twenty-five years of age. But based on the tests we performed on Vlad's samples, we have been unable to determine how long you will stay at that level of development."

Danny thought about this. "So… You don't know when I'll get there, but when I do, I'll forever be 25."

Frostbite wasn't sure what emotion to put forth. He furrowed his brows. "It is a good age for a human. For those who will not know better, you will appear to have aged well."

Vlad looked at Danny fondly. "Think of it this way. Jack Benny was permanently 39. Twenty-five is _far_ more fun."

Danny gazed at Harry, and then flailed his tail disconsolately. "So, I'll watch everyone around me grow old and die, but I won't."

Vlad wrapped his arms around his son. "That depends. Remember – _we_ will be together, and that never has to change. And it helps to remember that besides your Aunt Alicia and 'Grandma Ida', our nearest and dearest humans are witches and wizards. While I don't expect any human to endure as long as a ghost, wizards _do_ tend to live far longer than… other average humans."

Severus, Remus, and Harry considered their own mortality. They knew that Professor Dumbledore was over 150, and one of the examiners for the O.W.L.s remembered proctoring N.E.W.T.s when the Headmaster was seventeen, himself.

Harry put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "For as long as we can tell, we're not going anywhere. You're kinda stuck with us for as long as you'll have us. You probably have a century or two before you have to think about worrying."

A chill shot through Danny. "Cool. I think I can handle that."


	7. Trip to America, Part I

Trip to America, Part I: Being Social

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_ or _Harry Potter._

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><p>On July 15, Danny brought the intrepid crew from Hogwarts back to his parents' lab. Once everyone was back up in the living room and seated comfortably, Remus chirped, "This trip was truly edifying. I have never been exposed to a more comprehensive education on human and ghost biology before."<p>

Severus shook his head. "Despite what I have seen with my own eyes, I have trouble believing and understanding how two boys who could be mistaken for biological brothers actually have so many factors that separate them on a cellular level."

Harry just smiled at Danny and Vlad. "I'm just glad to know that, in a whole _dimension_ where people are just… No. I just like the fact that the ghosts who aren't already predisposed to _not_ like you have taken the time to get to know you for you. While rabid fans probably can't be avoided, these people took the time to meet the real you."

Danny put a hand on the back of his neck. "Yeah. I see why you appreciate this. I guess that's a function of the simple difference between humans and ghosts. Humans, by and large, are complex as people. There all kinds of crazy motivations that make humans… people. There's politics, there's image, there's ethics, there's personal desire.

"Ghosts have all of that, but the simple obsessions usually override most of those things. That usually simplifies matters."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "And how does your observation relate to us?"

"Ach," Danny sighed. "It depends on who we're dealing with and why. Like, for example, take, I don't know, the Fright Knight. When I first heard of him, I was already deeply involved in some dumb tousle with Dash Baxter, the class bully who seemed to favor me as a target. People were decorating the halls for Halloween – people in Casper High took their Halloween celebrations seriously. Because of finishing a fight with an annoying ghost eel, I bumped into a ladder, and a can of paint spilled all over Dash. He was gonna do some standard bully thing, and Mr. Lancer showed up while Dash had me six inches above the ground by the front of my shirt."

Harry shook his head. "It sounds like this Mr. Lancer had Dad's own timing." Severus raised an eyebrow.

Danny considered this. "Possible."

Severus frowned. "You said this Dash threatened to do some 'standard bully thing.' I was home-schooled until Hogwarts. While child abuse is indeed one form of 'bullying,' I am unaware of standard Muggle peer acts of mistreatment. I have little idea of what you experienced. If it isn't too painful, may I ask…?"

Harry and Danny shared a glance, and then they shared the explanation. Danny began, "Doing unmentionable things to underwear while they're still being worn."

Harry continued, "Stealing or overturning the victim's lunch."

"Stuffing smaller students into lockers."

"Knocking books from your hands to the floor."

"Beating up the little guy to vent 'cause you got a bad grade."

"Beating up a bloke for having scored better than you on an exam."

Both boys looked at Severus, and Danny asked, "Is that enough? Honestly – bullies short on brains somehow get ridiculously creative when it comes to tormenting a guy 'just because,' especially when the authorities involved are inclined to turn a blind eye to the bully's antics."

The Potions Master fell back into the backrest of his chair. "Dear Merlin, you've just described the Marauders, with the exception that James and Sirius actually had brains!"

Remus frowned, lowered his eyes, and blushed. "And we used wands."

Danny closed his eyes. "That… Wow." He opened his eyes. "I got the idea that you shared something that was not commonly known. I did not see that one coming. But I understand your zero-tolerance for bullies…"

"At least within the walls of Slytherin," Harry sneered.

Severus grimaced. Harry _sneered_. That was not an expression that belonged on his boy's face. Harry's contempt for Severus' double-standard was more than clear, and he deserved it.

Vlad watched the three wizards and Danny discuss their various harassment issues. Danny could more than adequately handle himself in Casper High – bullies were more of an annoyance than a danger to someone of Daniel's strength and power.

Severus told him about the Marauders months ago, and his report was confirmed by an unbiased source: Myrtle. Like all Hogwarts ghosts, Myrtle was afraid of Vlad, but she respected him for the way he loved Danny. However, Sydney Poindexter made it a point to 'check out' and let him know he was leaving Hogwarts.

Vlad was more than amused. He never set out to establish his position of superiority amongst the local ghosts in Hogwarts. However, they all accorded him the respect of a very powerful, very dangerous man, and an esteemed professor. The House Ghosts probably decided that, if permission for entry from Ghost Zone ghosts wasn't specifically sought, notification should be given.

So, even though Vlad had not commanded such a thing to be, Sydney delivered a report on everything he experienced before the painfully awkward teen headed back home to the Ghost Zone, probably at the prompting of either Myrtle or Lady Helena.

Severus was, on one level, vindicated by Myrtle's words, and Remus, though largely uninvolved in the pranks, was responsible for not doing more to stop his buddies from tormenting Severus. Vlad heard from several sources of Snape's untoward behavior against Harry, particularly for the first five years and the first month of Harry's Sixth Year.

But today he heard something new, and he did _not_ like it. "Harry, if I may… who bullied _you_ as a child? I do _not_ mean that deplorable aunt and uncle of yours."

Harry answered without thinking, "Dudley and his gang."

Vlad snarled, "Really?"

Harry's brain caught up with him as he quickly remembered that his favorite uncle was a dangerous, potentially violent ghost who engineered the incarceration of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia.

The young wizard waved his arms. "Wait, wait! We talked since we met in March, and he apologized. Danny heard him. And, and… And Dudley came with us to Godric's Hollow. He's turned over a new leaf. He was practically a different person. Please don't hurt him!"

Vlad blinked. He asked simply, "Why not?"

Grinning unhappily, Harry glanced at Severus. "I think I get what the goblins were saying far better now. Uncle Vlad, while we can say – without question or pause – that _something_ had to be done to stop… the senior Dursleys…"

The elder half-ghost nodded, proud that his favorite nephew was appreciative of his efforts on the boy's behalf.

"Revenge is a dangerous slippery slope. Where would it end? The goblins pointed out that… if they acted out against everyone who ever wronged them, it would be bad for business. Much to my ever-despising dismay, I am not just a celebrity, but a bloody icon of the Wizarding World.

"While the Dursleys," Harry gulped, "abused me for years, are you really set to punish everyone who's ever wronged me? 'Cause… That will take a really long time. You'd have to attend to the man who left me with the Dursleys, all of my parents' friends, distant relations, and allies who never bothered to check up on me, the teachers in Little Whinging who didn't seem to notice what _any_ of the Dursleys did to me…

"And once I got back to the Wizarding World, you have to remember everyone who left me ignorant about, well, _everything_ about my family and heritage, not to mention leaving Sirius to rot in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit, and no one seemed to care that he wasn't even given the courtesy of a trial. And the authors of books and makers of toys with my name and face without checking details, asking permission, or giving me royalties. And let's not even get started on the reporters and editorialists that have slandered me beyond belief for every bad thing under the sun, mocked me for being able to talk to snakes, and then scorned me for telling the truth about Voldemort's return."

Harry took a moment to breathe, as this took a lot out of him. "Uncle Vlad, while I'm sure you've got the creativity and the ability, and probably even the resources and the know-how to 'get back' at every single one of them, what would that accomplish?

"People are still gonna be prejudiced, biased to their own point of view, and just as stupid at the end of the day."

Everyone stared at him.

"My cousin Dudley was never the sharpest crayon in the box, but he saw that Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia hurt me, and they got a kick out of it. He was a spoiled kid who was treated like a pampered prince," Severus winced, "and he was praised for his creativity when he hurt me. He was dumb, he was mean, but he only did what he was taught by his parents.

"When he was old enough, mature enough, and… whatever it was he dealt with last March – and his encounter with the Dementors didn't hurt him with this – he made an effort to change. Last month, we saw even more of that. He saw what became of his parents, and he wants to be a better person than that."

Danny gulped hard. He understood that Harry had it rough, but put all together like that… Papá made far more sense about how, if he really wanted to, Harry could have turned all the bad, and evil, and hate heaped on him to bitterness and become a Dark Lord worse than Voldemort.

But instead… Harry wasn't exactly forgiving everyone as much as giving them all a pass, which was far more than everyone deserved.

Danny took a deep breath and then asked, "So… Everyone gets a free ride on this?"

Harry reached over and put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Not exactly, and that wasn't my choice, either. You saw what happened to Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, and I thank you for that again, Uncle Vlad. You were there for Voldemort. Pettigrew is dead. Madam Umbridge is in Azkaban, and may never again see the light of day. Ex-Minister Fudge is _persona non grata_, and Ex-Minister Scrimgeour isn't much better. I understand that my mother is haunting Professor Dumbledore's nightmares and has since February. Hermione and I have the goods on Rita Skeeter – a particularly annoying 'reporter,' usually for the _Daily Prophet_, and those are, as far as I can tell, the worst offenders. Dad is getting better every day, you've made Draco into a better person, Danny, and then there's Dudley."

Harry smirked. "Again, from what I can see, no one else is worth bothering with."

Vlad shook his head in vague amusement. "You are something else, Harry."

"That's what they tell me."

Danny gave a half-smile. "I guess you don't need me to tell the story of the Fright Knight right now, then. That's just as well."

Remus stifled a chuckle. "Perhaps another day, then. But who is the Fright Knight?"

"The spirit of Halloween."

Vlad kicked back into animation. "Oh, yes. In full regalia, he is every inch a Medieval knight, sitting on his ghostly charger. His sword…"

"Not now, Papá. While it's a good story…"

Harry snickered. "The irony. A good ghost story. Never mind me." He took a moment to collect himself. "Sorry."

While Harry was laughing, Danny saw his point and giggled. "Never thought of it that way." When _he_ stopped laughing, he coughed and sobered. "Not for nothing, Papá, but the sword's name won't, um, have the effect you're thinking of."

Vlad thought about the name 'Soul Shredder,' and saw his son's point. He smacked himself in the head, saying, "Right. Well… The Fright Knight is a _very_ powerful ghost, a remarkably formidable foe, and currently an ally."

Danny cringed. "I was afraid of that."

The elder half-ghost smiled and put an arm around him. "But the thing you forget, son, is the dynamic between us then and now is very different. My allies are _your_ allies, Daniel."

"You realize, Papá, that this, um, paradigm shift is gonna mess with my head." He thought for a moment. "Papá, I realize that, logically, your, um, allies are now, in theory, my allies. But they've spent so much time being my enemy, and ghosts don't deal well with change."

Vlad tapped his chin. "Hmm. Yes. This will have to be dealt with."

Severus cleared his throat, reminding the two Americans that they weren't alone. Vlad woke out of his mesmerized moment, remembered his audience, and shook his head. "Please forgive me. We need to send you home, so you can take care of things there. We have a few things to do and people to see before returning to Britain. Where will you celebrate Harry's birthday?"

Severus smiled. "We'll be with the Weasleys. Molly insisted on it."

"Very good. Before you head out that way, I'd like to take you up on your offer to visit Gringotts with you a few days before Harry comes of age in the Wizarding World. I think you should make an appointment for no later than the twenty-ninth, so that we can know if there are any responsibilities that come with your titles, and prepare for them ahead of time."

Harry shivered. "That makes sense. It's a part of being in this 'exclusive club,' as you put it."

Vlad smiled broadly. "That's right. I'll call you when we're on our way back."

Remus piped up, "And I hope to have some type of phone connected by then."

"Even better. Now, Daniel, if you'll be so kind…"

Danny cocked his head in thought. "Sure. But first, let's get the 'Good-byes' out of the way, so I can open the portal for a shorter time."

All the adults were contrite and Vlad hugged his son. "I apologize for not taking that into consideration."

They all hugged or shook hands and exchanged greetings of farewell before Danny opened a portal and the wizards took leave of the ghosts.

Danny closed the portal, looked up, and asked, "Now what?"

Vlad frowned. "We have a few ghosts to visit, humans to visit, places to attend… But I think the first thing is for you to get Morph settled, and then sign up for a date to take the SATs. Yes, that's what we'll do."

"Papá?"

"Not to worry. I'm forming plans. You will go online and register, and… You will need to look up the 'home school' option. There are a few complications but no obstacle we can't overcome, even honestly. I have a few things to take care of while you accomplish that. I'll meet you back here in the living room in an hour."

"Do I have to?"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "_Yes_, Daniel. University awaits future astronauts. That still _is_ your goal, is it not?"

Danny looked stricken. "Of course it is. I just… I never thought…" He had trouble putting his thoughts into words.

The elder half-ghost responded, "That's why it's _my_ job to think of these things. It's _your_ job to get online and sign up. After we've finished our assorted tasks, I'll pick up a book of practice SATs for you to practice with."

The boy sighed. "Yes, Papá." He brought Morph's food and water bowls to the kitchen and filled them before putting them on the floor, and then he ascended to his room to arrange the cat's litter box and carrying case and to sign up.

Vlad sighed with pleasure as he turned ghost and sank through the floor to the Fenton Lab. As he opened the portal, he snickered softly. "First stop – a debriefing with Skulker."

* * *

><p>Skulker was preparing lunch for himself when a knock on his door interrupted him. Intrigued, he opened his door and blinked. "Plasmius! What a surprise! What brings you here?" He gestured his employer inside and both took seats in his living room.<p>

"Just a quick spot of business. Daniel and I are back in the States for a week or two, and I have a few errands to take care of before heading back to Britain."

"Anything I can do for you?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Vlad smiled predatorily, which caused the vaunted hunter to gulp almost fearfully. "I have discovered – as early as last December – that Daniel has acquired two noble titles from various ghostly royalty."

Skulker blinked again. "Two? I remember hearing Princess Dora call the Ghost Child 'Sir Danny.' He has a second title?"

Vlad sighed contentedly. "The ghosts of the Far Frozen have dubbed him 'the Great One.' In their reckoning, he is practically a prince, if not something more."

"Hmm… I haven't heard of them."

"The Far Frozen is a bit out of the way, and if the Ghostwriter hadn't told me where to find these ghost yetis with cryogenetic and cryokinetic powers, I wouldn't have known about them, either. They are a very large community, and unlike you and most of the ghosts you know, fleeing from Pariah Dark to the Real World wasn't an option for them. As such, their gratitude to the boy was that much more intense."

The hunter nodded. "Fair enough. So why are you telling me this?"

"Because, my dear Skulker, I wanted to share the good news with you first. My last interaction with ghostly royalty has made it clear that it is appropriate for him to be addressed by his titles."

Skulker dropped his jaw in disbelief. He cleared his throat. "Plasmius, the boy has had those titles for over a year. Why are you bringing this to my attention now?"

Vlad waved a hand airily. "Spending time with British ghosts and citizens brings the importance of such things to the fore, you see."

"And so…"

"So I've decided to make it official, with the possible exception of his very good friends. From now on, you and every ghost you speak to will no longer refer to my son as 'whelp', 'Ghost Child,' or even 'kid.' I fancy my son being referred to as either 'Sir Danny Phantom,' 'the Great One,' or if anyone is feeling particularly ambitious, 'the Great One, Sir Danny Phantom'."

Skulker raised both eyebrows. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. Or possibly Sir Danny or Sir Phantom on less formal occasions."

Skulker stared off in thought. Everyone knew about the Fright Knight, Prince Aragon, and Princess Dora. The Ghost King was a force unto himself, and the less said about him, the better.

Plasmius wanted everyone to call Danny Phantom 'Sir Danny Phantom' or even 'the Great One.'

Skulker rubbed the back of his neck. "You realize this is going to change how we view the boy. Using titles enough times changes one's perspective."

Vlad nodded. "That is the idea precisely."

"But Plasmius, I don't…"

"You know, Skulker, I'll never object to anyone referring to my son as Master, though he seems uncomfortable with it. Queen Anne Boleyn and the other ghosts at the Tower of London, Princess Dora, Sir Nicholas, the Grey Lady, and the Bloody Baron have all made inroads to have my very American son more comfortable with his ghostly conferred noble titles."

The metallic ghost sighed in defeat. There was _no way_ he or any other ghost of his acquaintance (with the possible exception of the brat Sydney Poindexter) would willingly call the whelp 'Master.'

The idea of giving the Ghost Child the respect that comes with an official noble title rankled, but if that was his employer's demand, Skulker wasn't in a position to say 'no.'

"Plasmius, they aren't going to like this."

Vlad smirked. "No, I don't suppose they will."

Skulker raised an eyebrow. "What about you? Do you have any title changes I should be aware of?"

"No, no. _I_ am the same as I always was. Today's visit was all about Daniel. Which reminds me… I've got to get back to him. We have places to go, people to see, things to do, and only a week or two in which to accomplish them. Ta!" He swirled away in a puff of pink mist.

The hunter ran a hand over his face. "Technus is never going to let me hear the end of this. He warned me this would happen after the Christmas party." He brightened. "However, Walker and Desiree will have amusing reactions to all of this."

With that, he took off to spread the news.

* * *

><p>Vlad knocked on Danny's bedroom door. "Daniel?"<p>

"Come in, Papá. I'm almost finished. I just… need a way to pay for this."

"Not a problem. Give me a moment, and I'll enter my credit card information." Danny took a seat on his bed as Vlad took over the chair. "Hmm… The three dates given for the autumn SATs are all Saturdays. Why did you choose October 4 over November 1 or December 6?"

Danny shrugged. "I figured that the October date was less likely to conflict with the Quidditch schedule."

"Fair enough."

"Um… Now that we're here, what's on _your_ schedule?"

Vlad stroked his beard. "I didn't have a specific schedule in mind. However, we could spend time until the twenty-first visiting your local friends and the cemeteries. After that, I'll need to devote some time to visiting factories, outlets, and other places of business."

Danny nodded. "And then Aunt Alicia."

"Of course, child." Vlad's eyes shone as an idea came to him. "There's no reason you can't come with me on my business tour. Regardless of where the start-up money came from, the businesses are all run with ethics that even you would be proud of."

Danny blinked.

With a wicked grin, Vlad admitted, "Last November, when the Guys in White refused to cooperate with me, they threatened to have me audited. I gave them a full invitation. There is nothing available to the public that isn't fully accountable."

Danny raised his eyebrows. "But how… I don't understand…"

"My boy, of all the business lessons that we've shared this is one thing you must know." Vlad wheeled the chair closer to Danny's spot on the bed and put a hand on his shoulder. "It is one thing to acquire a great deal of wealth. Maintaining it is a different thing altogether. Once a business is started and running, _keeping_ it running needs to be manageable, and on a certain level, predictable. Whether you consider the production floor or the executive office, employees expect and deserve a consistent work schedule, pay schedule, benefits packages, and every penny needs to be accounted for."

"Whoa."

"Indeed. But that is for next week. Come join me in the kitchen, and we can discuss who you would like to visit and when."

Once seated at the table, Vlad asked, "So where would you like to begin?"

"Well, I, um… I should probably call Tucker's parents first. I didn't write to them over the school year, but I want to let them know I'm thinking of them."

"A fine choice. While you busy yourself with that, I'll arrange the tour of which factories, outlets, subsidiaries, and business offices to visit when."

Danny hesitated as he considered what to do next. He tried to remember what he would normally have done.

Normal. The concept of normal and of being in Fenton Works temporarily escaped him, as it would be normal to dodge his parents in the kitchen or living room while they worked on producing their anti-ghost weaponry. Normal involved Vlad not sitting in his kitchen. Normal involved his sister pestering him about any number of things. Normal involved calling Sam or Tucker to figure out what to do next.

On automatic pilot, Danny's body brought him to his bedroom. He sat on his bed, looking around at the posters he hadn't considered important enough to take with him when Professor Dumbledore came to take the half-ghosts to Hogwarts close to a year ago.

He covered his face for a few moments, sitting in thought. He had Sam and Tucker's cell numbers memorized. Danny remembered that he might have had Tucker's home phone number in his contact list.

Sitting up, Danny flipped through his contact list and called the Foleys' number. The phone rang twice, and then it chirped, beeped, and informed him that the number had been disconnected.

"Mr. and Mrs. Foley!" He bolted from his room, down the stairs.

Vlad perked up from his perch in the living room as the elephant stormed the stairs. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

"The Foleys aren't answering their phone! I gotta check out why!"

"Daniel, don't…" The door slammed behind the boy. Vlad shook his head; his son's hero complex never let up. He would either come home with satisfaction, hysteria, or something in between. There would be enough time to deal with him then.

* * *

><p>Danny ran down the block and pounded on the Foleys' door. "Come on, come on! Please be there!"<p>

The next door neighbor heard the commotion and came out to see the dark-haired teen. "Hey!"

The boy jumped. "Uh, sorry, Mr. Fisher."

The man raised an eyebrow. "You're the Fenton boy, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir."

Looking a bit more firmly at the boy, the man sighed. "I'm sorry for your loss. The news said you were adopted by the billionaire, Vlad Masters."

Danny shrugged a shoulder. "Yes, sir."

"I haven't seen you around here since, well… since the terrorist attack."

"No, sir. Mr. Masters had business in Scotland, and I went to school there. This is the first time I've been back to the neighborhood since then."

"Fair enough, kid, fair enough."

"Mr. Fisher, what's going on with the Foleys? Why wouldn't they answer their phone?"

Mr. Fisher sighed. "The Foleys moved, son. Shortly after Christmas, Maurice got transferred to Minnesota." He smiled. "Oddly enough, they moved to another town called Amity Park."

Danny smiled back.

"They found it too painful to stay here without their son, with all their memories, and so many friends and family killed."

The boy shook his head. "I guess I can understand that." He glanced back at the door before him. "Did they leave a phone number where they can be reached?"

"No, son, but they left a forwarding address, if you wanted to send a letter."

"Thanks. I'd appreciate that."

"No problem. Stay here and I'll get it for you. They did ask me to keep a lookout for you, if and when you turned up."

* * *

><p>Danny plopped onto the couch, head in his hands.<p>

"Daniel?"

Removing his head from his hands, Danny looked up. "The Foleys moved to Amity Park, Minnesota. I just…"

Vlad gave his son a half-smile. "Dear boy, time does not stand still. While we were in Hogwarts, people here put their lives back together as best as they could. I'm sure that many families moved away, other families moved in."

He smirked. "Mayor Montez has taken your friend Tucker's idea to a whole new level: the Department of Tourism of Amity Park now offers ghost tours. Students who survived point out various locations of your most famous exchanges." He covered his mouth for a moment. "Sydney Poindexter has asked me for permission to participate (which I granted), and when tourists come to Casper High, he introduces himself and drops the names of the ghosts you fought there. A few enterprising students walk the halls with him, pointing out places of interest. You would be amazed – the opportunities for after-school and summer jobs have risen astronomically, and you are their favorite feature, both as a ghost and as a human who had access to and knowledge of your parents' weaponry."

Danny groaned. "It's _so_ not fair. Why couldn't they have liked me this much while I lived here?"

Vlad moved to the seat next to him and snuck an arm around him. "My boy, your Phantom persona was always well-loved by the student body. As for your Fenton identity, it is a matter of missing the water once the well has run dry." Danny clicked his tongue and turned away.

The elder half-ghost sighed, saddened at his son's upset. "Why don't you call Valerie? I don't know if she's at home, at work, or on vacation, but I _do_ know that she still has a job at the Nasty Burger."

Danny blew out a noisy breath. "Fine."

"Daniel, tomorrow, we'll visit Grandma Ida together. But I think that your peer pen pal will enjoy your company. And remember – she enjoys your friendship, and no longer holds enmity for your ghost half."

The boy looked up. "Yeah, that's true." He laughed mirthlessly. "I guess this is how Harry feels, with all these people making a fuss 'cause he's famous, but only a few care enough to get to know him." He took a cleansing breath. "Okay. I'll give her a call."

Vlad smiled. "That's my boy!"

* * *

><p>In the kitchen, Danny called Valerie's house. "Hello?"<p>

"Damon Grey. How can I help you?"

"Um, hi, Mr. Grey. Is Valerie around?"

"She got off work an hour ago. She's around. Would you like me to get her for you?"

"Well, maybe. Do you think she'd appreciate a surprise visit?"

Damon grinned. "She might, at that. I hope you realize that her social calendar has changed a bit since you last saw each other."

Danny sighed wryly. "Papá did say that was a possibility."

"Did you just call Vlad Masters 'Papá'?"

"Yup. Since I agreed to let him adopt me at Christmas."

Damon shook his head, not that Danny could see it. "Congratulations on the adoption, Danny."

"Thanks, sir. Listen – I can be in Elmerton in a few minutes. Would it be okay for me to stop by now?"

"That would be fine. I look forward to seeing you then."

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Danny flew over the bridge and into the apartment building, and knocked on the door. "Danny!" Valerie exclaimed joyfully, yet a bit confused. "What are you doing here?"<p>

Danny smiled. "Papá and I were in town, and I wanted to drop in and say, 'Hello.' How are you?"

She welcomed him in. "Fine, Danny. Hold on. Daddy! Danny's here!"

Mr. Grey popped his head into the room. "Good to see you, Danny. I imagine you have a few things to talk about. Just remember…"

"Don't worry, Daddy. I'll take care of it." Danny raised his eyebrows. He couldn't remember Valerie being this cryptic before, and he knew some of the secrets she'd kept.

She had Danny sit on a couch while she ran to the kitchen to grab a pitcher of lemonade and a short stack of plastic cups. She asked, "So how is school over there?"

Danny thought for a moment. "It's cool that I'm allowed to handle glass and crystal vials and beakers in chemistry again."

Valerie laughed – that was something she hadn't thought of for years.

"Sam would have loved my intense botany and zoology classes. We've got an astronomy lecture during the day and a practical once a week at midnight."

"That sounds great, Danny."

The boy decided to test the waters and see how things stood with her and ghosts. "And – get this – my history class is taught by a ghost."

The girl jerked her head and narrowed her eyes. "No way! How is that…!" She bristled in anger.

Danny gulped as he realized she might not be okay with this. "Well… Papá says that he explained that the ghosts we've met in Britain are intangible, except for our resident poltergeist. But my school _is_ in an ancient castle in Scotland…"

Valerie frowned. She didn't like being deceived. "Last summer, you said it was in England. And the post office box is in London."

Danny sighed. "Yeah, well… I didn't really know there was that much of a difference, when we first left. I mean, seriously… For as long as I can remember, I've always thought of the whole of 'that country' as England. It took me living there a week to realize that there are _three_ separate _countries_ on an island that's not much bigger than the State of Minnesota, and that the United Kingdom includes a lot more than that. And… while most of Papá's work was in Scotland, he did business almost every weekend in England. It was just easier for him to get a post office box in London."

"But why? Scotland has its own share of post offices."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "You're asking me to explain Papá's logic. This is a guy who does business on the weekend, when most business stuff I know about operates Monday through Friday, from nine to five. I can't explain why he made that decision."

Valerie shook her head to clear the dottle. "Fair enough, I guess."

He decided a change of topics was in order and gave her a shy smile. "He took me on a European tour to visit all the places we read about in the Shakespearean plays I covered."

She sighed. "That is kinda cool." She wanted to know more about the teacher who was a ghost, but the conversation got away from them. "So how is Harry?"

Danny smiled. "He's doing great. He recently discovered that he's got a few major connections to some British historical figures who lived, like, close to a thousand years ago."

"Seriously?"

"Yup. He visited a family cemetery and found that he was descended from one of the founders of my school there." Valerie whistled in appreciation. "So tell me about what's going on here."

Before she could answer, there was a knock on the door. Valerie jumped up to open it. "Hey, Valerie!"

"Kwan! Look who's here!"

Danny blinked. "Kwan?"

"Danny!" The teen pumped the surprised ghost's hand. "Good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too. I, uh…" He put a hand on his neck as he tried to puzzle through this turn of events. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Kwan beamed at him. "I can understand that. Everyone knew you and Valerie were an item for a while, but then, well…" His face fell. "After Gregor skipped town, it was kinda clear that you were sweet on Sam. And then…" He lowered his head.

Danny shook his head sadly. "I never got to tell her I loved her."

"Sorry, man."

Taking a few minutes to collect himself, Danny cleared his throat. "So you two are an item now?"

Valerie gave him a half-smile. "Yeah. But we're takin' it slow; we've got responsibilities to take care of."

"How did this happen, though? I didn't think you guys had a lot in common?"

The girl struggled with herself as she tried to voice her thoughts. "Before that… ghost destroyed Daddy's security business, I _was_ part of the A-List crowd. And Kwan and I were… well…"

Kwan helpfully supplied, "The day you ran from Dash and spilled a drink on her $500 shirt, I recognized an accident when it happened. I could see it was nothing personal. But Valerie asked me to beat you up for her." Valerie turned her face away in shame. "I get it _now_ that it wasn't the right thing to do. But the grief counselor I've been seeing – and he's _way_ better than Ms. Spectra ever was – helped me work out a few issues."

Closing his eyes for a moment, he continued. "I felt lost after most of my buddies died. Dash was a team leader, and, um…" He opened his eyes. "Mr. Grossman said he was kinda the leader of the 'group think' of a mob mentality. That's not to say that we're not all responsible for our own actions."

Frowning, he said, "Mr. Grossman helped me think through a lot of things." He rolled a hand to help him push his own thoughts forward. "Remember when you went out with Paulina for a week or two? I spent time hanging out with Sam and Tucker. And you know something?"

Danny shook his head curiously.

"I realized that they were fun people to hang around. Maybe not very popular, but they didn't really care about that, did they?"

Danny gave a wry grin. "Not really. I mean, sometimes Tuck and I got distracted, but at the end of the day, we were all happier just being ourselves, instead of who other people thought we should be. Mostly."

Kwan nodded. "That makes sense."

The smaller boy scratched his head. "Okay. So it makes sense that you once had a lot in common. Since then, Valerie got really serious about her job, and school, and she's getting ready to go to college. What do you really have in common _now_?"

Valerie smiled proudly, as she knew of her boyfriend's growth. Kwan explained. "Well… Since the terrorists destroyed everyone on the sports teams but me," the athlete winced when his voice cracked with emotion, "well… I had to do something with my time. And Mr. Grossman said that Ms. Spectra was wrong when she said that I'll end up a hobo."

Danny growled, "Of _course_ she was wrong! She's one of the evil ghosts… Phantom protected against, and her special talent is stealing every positive emotion from her victims, leaving nothing but despair."

Valerie perked up in horror. "Really?"

"Yup. And students looking to be counseled, especially when they're sent to her by the vice principal, are a captive audience for her particular brand of cruelty."

Valerie and Kwan shared a glance, and the girl admitted, "I didn't realize she was a ghost. She was really good at disguising herself as a human."

"You'd be surprised at the number of ghosts who can do that."

Kwan muttered, "I'll have to remember that one for later." He cleared his throat and spoke a bit louder. "Anyway, it was hard to piece together what to do. Most of my friends were all gone. It's, like, everyone and everything that used to define me were gone. Well, except for my parents."

Danny chuckled mirthlessly. "I know how that one goes."

The larger boy touched Danny's arm. "Yeah, I guess you would. So I had to remember that there was more to me than just football, and hanging out with Dash and Star.

"I wanted to hang out with Valerie, and had to find something in common to reconnect. Otherwise I'd have nothing to talk about."

"So…"

"So I got a job. I work at the department store in the sporting goods section. I'm actually pretty good at that."

Danny smiled. "Good for you!"

"And one day a week, I help the ghost Poindexter to give a tour of Phantom sightings at Casper High, and other places around town."

Danny blinked. "Really?"

Kwan looked sheepish. "Yeah. He and I had a _long_ conversation about bullies. And I'm sorry for my part in what we did to you. I, um…" There were too many things in his head to verbalize.

"I forgive you, Kwan." Danny put out a hand, and Kwan gratefully took and shook it.

"Thanks, Danny. It means a lot to me that you said that." He shook his head and continued to talk about what he was good at explaining. "Well, Dash showed me where a robot-like ghost stuck him to the wall. I also remember the scary ghost we saw that Halloween, when you lost a bet with Dash, and you had to eat his…"

"I remember!" Danny didn't need to be reminded of _that_ incident.

"So I pointed out the mailboxes that came to life and chased people, and places where I saw Phantom fight that blue ghost who's, like, obsessed with boxes. And no one can forget that lunch lady who hated the ultra-recyclo-vegetarian menu as much as we did." He stopped for a moment. "Hey, Danny? If it was the lunch lady ghost who was responsible for the mess of meat you guys had to clean up, how come you, and Sam, and Tucker had to clean it? It was the ghost's fault."

Danny grimaced. "Unfortunately, Kwan, the only person who could answer that question was Mr. Lancer."

"That makes sense, I guess. But guess what? I _also _want to go to college."

Danny blinked. "Seriously?"

"Well, yeah. Now that Dash isn't making fun of me for studying, and otherwise being distracting, and the girl I'm interested in is a lot more focused, I figure I should make plans for the future." The hobo image Ms. Spectra spoke of still freaked him out.

Raising his eyebrows, the smaller boy asked, "So what would be your major?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Of course."

"English lit and creative writing."

Danny's jaw dropped. "What?"

With a self-conscious laugh, Kwan responded, "Yeah. And you'll never believe me if I told you how I came to this decision."

"You're probably right, but please tell me anyway."

Kwan took Valerie's hand and squeezed it. "Actually, it was Sam who inspired me."

Danny shook his head and knocked himself in the head a couple of times to clear the dottle. "Huh? How did that work?"

With a lopsided grin, Kwan explained. "Well, I remember that one time Sam took me to the Skulk and Lurk for the poetry circle. I came prepared with my own offering: 'The Fluffy Clouds All Look Like Footballs'."

The ghost moaned. "Sam told me."

"No, not this bit. See, she probably told you that I got her kicked out of the Skulk and Lurk for a month. At the time, that wasn't my biggest priority. Once I got back with Star, it slipped my mind.

"But here's the thing – I didn't _get_ why my poem about fluffy clouds made the audience so mad. One Friday when Dash left school earlier than I did to catch the beginning of a romantic movie marathon, I stayed after and showed my poem to Mr. Lancer. He suggested I put it in Casper High's literary journal."

Danny smiled. "I remember that issue. Sam showed it to me and Tuck. It _was_ pretty good, but I agree with Sam: it had no place at a Goth poetry slam."

"Yeah, well, I didn't get it at the time. And after…" Kwan looked away from the other teens. "After Sam died, I thought about it. I went back to the Skulk and Lurk and looked up Goth poetry. Then I got it. There was, like, a whole _theme_ that I missed, and I didn't really know, 'cause I never really paid close attention to you guys and your hobbies, except for the time when Foley was called 'Bad Luck Tuck.' That was…"

"I get it," Danny snapped.

Kwan shook his head. "It was a mistake, 'cause I didn't get it. And… Now she's gone, and can't see that I get it now." He sniffed back tears he didn't want to show.

Valerie grabbed his other hand, so she held both of them. "I'm sure she knows now."

"Yeah. But I decided that – partly in honor of Sam, and partly to just be a better me – I wanted to do better with literature, and understand the concepts of plots, and themes, and settings, and stuff, much more."

Danny sat back in silence for a bit to absorb Kwan's words. "That's pretty intense, Kwan. So what do you want to do with all this English literature?"

"I don't know yet. I'll do more reading, more writing, and who knows? I've been told it's best to write what you know. Maybe I'll become a sports journalist. But for now, it's too early to tell."

"Well, good luck, Kwan."

"Thanks, Danny. So how have you been? I heard you went to school in England…"


	8. Trip to America, Part II

Trip to America, Part II: Taking Care of Business

I want to thank everyone for reading and responding. Happy Chanuka for those who celebrate, Happy December for those who don't, and latkes and jelly doughnuts for everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own _Danny Phantom_, _Harry Potter,_ "Little Boxes," or _The Matrix._

* * *

><p>Danny pulled at his tie as he wore a suit identical to Vlad's. "Are you sure they're expecting us, Papá?"<p>

"Of course they are, son. Or, at least, Ida is expecting us. Whether the other Mansons are or not is entirely up to her."

"Still…" The boy squirmed, not entirely comfortable with this formality in dress.

"Daniel, you look dashing. Don't worry so." Vlad raised an eyebrow. "Jeremy and Pamela are all about appearances. True, last time they saw you, you were also well-dressed, but they will be surprised to see you out of your accustomed attire. I find it amusing to confuse the weak-minded pretentious. Further, I believe that Ida will also be amused, if not as malicious as I am."

"Grandma Ida's _not_ malicious. She's mischievous. There's a difference."

Vlad smiled proudly. "Indeed. Come." He rang the bell to the Mansons' mansion.

Jeremy opened the door. "My! Ah… Mr. Masters, Danny, what a surprise! Please come in."

The elder half-ghost smirked. "Why, thank you, Mr. Manson. Your manners have improved since we last met."

The blond man coughed, embarrassed at the reproof. "Yes. Well. Let me get my wife." He retreated to suit word to deed.

Vlad grinned. "See? And we only just got here."

Danny rolled his eyes. He didn't have anything against Sam's parents. They just didn't care for him.

Jeremy, in his pastel blue and yellow Argyle sweater, returned with his wife Pamela, in her pink cocktail dress, pearl necklace, and dripping diamond earrings.

Pamela expected Vlad Masters to dress in his usual very expensive business suit. Danny Fenton, on the other hand, was almost never seen in Amity Park in anything other than a tee-shirt and jeans. As Mr. Masters reminded her last November, Danny was respectfully dressed in a dark suit when he attended Samantha's funeral and their house of Shiva. But now… his clothes matched the billionaire's outfit, down to the red bowtie and platinum cufflinks.

Her eyebrows raised, Pamela cried, "Danny! It looks like you're moving up in the world."

Danny gave a pained grimace. "Looks like."

Jeremy grabbed her elbow and shook his head at her; this was _not_ the best way to engage the Fenton boy.

She frowned, surprised that her opening gambit was shot down. She smiled as she came up with a new topic. "So, Danny… it's been a while since we've seen you. What have you been up to? Where have you been?"

The boy sighed with relief. He wasn't being pestered about his adopted father's wealth – it hadn't become internalized that Vlad's money was available to him. He was asked something pertinent about himself.

"I've been in a school for the scientifically gifted in Scotland." Both Mansons blinked in surprise.

Jeremy cleared his throat. "Really?"

Danny gave a lopsided grin. "I haven't always been a great student, but I was always pretty gifted in astronomy. This year, I really improved in, uh… botany, zoology, and chemistry. And, of course, Papá has tutored me in English and math."

Pamela raised her eyebrows. "Where did you go, again?"

"Um… it's a private school. You wouldn't have heard of it. The closest town is…"

"Edinburgh," Vlad interrupted. "The closest town is Edinburgh." He narrowed his eyes at the boy.

Danny cleared his throat. "Right." Hogsmeade was as much a Wizarding secret as Hogwarts itself.

Pamela couldn't help herself – this was Danny Fenton, after all. "I hope you've escaped from all the… ghost weirdness from your parents."

Vlad raised an eyebrow and gestured at Danny.

The boy shook his head. "Mrs. Manson, the school is in an old castle in Scotland. Of _course_ I haven't 'escaped from ghost weirdness.' However, it does make history class far more interesting."

Both Jeremy and Pamela were taken aback – that was the last thing they expected to hear.

The shimmer of prismic rainbows and the hum of a motor scooter announced the arrival of Sam's grandmother. "What is this? Why is everyone yammering in the foyer when there's a perfectly good sitting room not being used?"

Pamela peaked her eyebrows and covered her mouth with a white-gloved hand. "Please forgive me. Where are my manners? Please come in through to the sitting room. I'll… I'll get some tea and cookies."

"Yes, yes," Ida murmured impatiently. "But let me see my world-traveling guests."

Her son bunched his eyebrows. "But we just found out…"

"Yes, Jeremy, I know. I've also been writing to these fine young men just about every week since November."

The man sighed, defeated. Last evening, when his mother informed him that Mr. Masters was coming, he thought he'd have a chance to redeem himself from the totally gauche fashion he treated the businessman. Now, he saw that today wasn't the dawn of a friendship between Masters and the Mansons. It was the meeting of old friends, and neither he nor his wife was involved.

"Very well, Mother. I'll help Pamela get refreshments." He nodded to Vlad and Danny, and left the room with dignity, wounded though it was.

Danny watched him leave. He asked, "Mr. Manson's not sad because of me, is he?"

Vlad blinked. "Beg pardon?" If the boy's hero complex got in the way of chastising the people who verbally and emotionally abused him, Vlad would put his foot down on the matter.

Ida scooted closer to Danny and chucked his chin. "Not at all, dearie. He's just suffered a disappointment that I can _promise_ has nothing to do with you." She held his head tenderly between her hands, kissed his forehead, and wheeled back.

The elder half-ghost shook his head in exasperation – Jeremy and Pamela weren't worth the emotion Daniel spent on them. "So, Ida, if I may… how do you like your basket?"

She smiled fondly. "I absolutely love both of your gifts! They reflect your personalities, and I thank you for remembering me."

Danny sighed contentedly. "I'm glad you like them, Grandma Ida: Papá's basket and the plush unicorn."

"My Sammy helped you discover the magic of life, eh? Well, I'm glad she did. And it was my pleasure to be there for you, Danny. You are a special young man." She smiled broadly as Danny reached over and patted her hand.

"And you, Vlad. 'The gift sparkles as much as my personality.' You know how to brighten the day of an old lady like me."

Vlad huffed with pleasure. He might be ruthless in many of his dealings, but Ida made him feel like an innocent young man again. "I'm glad you feel that way, Ida."

Her eyes twinkled and then she turned to Danny. "So how has he been treating you, dear?"

Danny thought for a moment. "We've had our ups and downs, but I'd say we're doing pretty well."

Ida gazed at both half-ghosts. "That's nice. I had a feeling about you two."

The three of them sat in contemplative silence until Pamela brought in the silver tea set and cookies. The red-headed woman sighed. "You know, Danny, you're… not as bad as I thought."

Before he had a chance to respond, Vlad raised an eyebrow and asked, "Oh? Daniel hasn't changed dramatically over the past year. Are you convinced of the merit of the boy who is now my son? Or, are you convinced of the merit of the son of Vlad Masters, rather than the son of Jack and Maddie Fenton?"

Pamela set the tea tray on the coffee table and looked at the man contemplatively. "I… couldn't say."

"Of _course_ you can't," Vlad drawled.

Danny shook his head. "That's the trouble, Mrs. Manson. You didn't like me because I like music groups like Morbid Anti-Social Youth, and you can't _not_ mention my parents' 'ghost weirdness.' I don't fit into whatever image you have for 'cool,' or something. To be honest, you didn't get Sam, either. I wasn't," he curled his fingers into air quotes, "a 'bad influence' on her. We just had a lot in common, and appreciated each other for who and what we are.

"Sure, Sam was cynical. But she was an individual. Grandma Ida always got that. You never really did."

"How _dare_ you talk about my Sammikins like that!"

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Mrs. Manson, you tried to force Sam to wear frilly pink monstrosities. She _hated_ pink. She entered Casper High School's beauty pageant as a show of protest, not doing _anything_, ah, Ms. Dora told her to. She even had an 'attitude of gratitude,' though it wasn't bright and cheery in the way you'd expect."

He sat back as a realization hit him. "Why does individuality frighten you?"

Ida repressed a smirk. "Dear Danny has a point there, Pammy. I'd like to hear the answer to that, myself."

"I… need to think about this."

"There's a green one, and a pink one, and a blue one, and a yellow one, and they're all made out of ticky-tacky, and they all look just the same," Ida crooned. "And the people in the houses all went to the university where they were put in boxes, little boxes all the same: they are doctors, and lawyers, and business executives, and they all get put in boxes and they come out all the same."

Vlad exclaimed, "Ida! I never knew you liked Pete Seeger!"

She smiled. "And I can't remember if any two recordings of the song mention the colors in the same order, except yellow. Malvina Reynolds, who wrote the song before Pete Seeger made it a hit, takes elective cosmetic surgery into consideration, saying that the _people_ are made of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same."

Pamela made a moue. "Really, I… will let you enjoy each other's company." She hurried, with dignity, out of the room.

Ida snickered and then she sighed. "I love my son and daughter-in-law. I really do. How they got to be so straight-laced…" She shook her head. "It probably comes from my Morris, talking about 'never fitting into the country-club set.' Hmph! I'm with Groucho Marx on this one: I'd never belong to a country-club that 'let me in.'

"Ah, who knows? Maybe it was their own 'act of rebellion' to get _into_ the country-club, Donna Reed set." She shook her head again.

Danny decided that the more he spent time with Grandma Ida, the more he appreciated Sam. "Um, Grandma Ida, I've got a question for you."

"Anything, love."

"Well, this Sunday is the anniversary of… well…"

She put a hand over his. "Yes, dear, I know."

Danny cleared his throat. "Well, Papá and I plan to visit the cemeteries. Since Sam is in a different one, a Jewish one, I wanted to know if there were different customs I should be aware of when we visited."

Ida maneuvered her scooter so she could hug Danny. "You are very sweet and sensitive. The biggest difference you need to worry about is: instead of bringing flowers, take a small stone and place it on the headstone."

Vlad perked up. "We need to worry about?"

She smiled. "I'm not the one to tell you which prayers – if any – to say. But if you ask me, I'll tell you what I say when I go."

Danny thought for a moment. "That might be nice."

"You're a good boy, Danny. My Sammy would be honored. I know I am."

* * *

><p>Sunday, July 20, Danny and Vlad came back to Fenton Works emotionally exhausted. Both found seats in the living room, as ascending the stairs to the bedrooms took too much energy.<p>

"Daniel, I think you did rather well today."

"Yeah, well… That wasn't the way I intended to meet the Foleys after all this time. But I guess it could have been worse."

Vlad covered Danny's hand with one of his own. "I'll admit that my receiving applause for rhapsodizing about your mother was the last thing I expected."

"As Uncle Severus would say, you have the soul of a poet. Thanks for giving me a little space. When I spoke to Harry yesterday, he said that it was cool to just, uh, pour your heart out. So I did.

"It was also interesting that the signs asked us to remove our head coverings (if we had them) when we went to visit Mr. Lancer, but the signs asked us to cover our heads when we visited Sam. Apparently, none of that was an issue when we went to see Mom, Dad, Jazz, and Tuck."

Vlad smiled gently at his son. "Adherents of different religions have different ideas about how to show respect to their deities of choice."

"I guess. But you know? The prayer Grandma Ida gave us, 'God, full of mercy, Who dwells on high,' was kinda nice. That, and the Twenty-Third Psalm. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not very good at religious things, but those things sound like something I could say anywhere I visited."

"Yes, at the conclusion of the outpourings of your soul." Vlad cleared his throat. "I imagine that giving you the itinerary for this week will only be helpful. Tomorrow, we'll visit Axion Labs. I'll ask you to wear another suit as we…"

"Another one?" Between their visit to the Mansons and the various cemeteries, Danny wore suits more frequently in the past week than in any year put together. "But when we visited Axion Labs as a class trip, a tee-shirt and jeans were just fine."

Vlad sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Daniel, you're right. When you were merely a student in the local high school, informal dress was all that was required. But during our business tour, you're not simply a high school student. You are also the son of the President/CEO. And while your current aspirations involve NASA and the field of astronomy, there will come a time when taking the reins of at least part of my financial empire will be your responsibility. As such, you want to create a powerful first impression. That way, the image you will convey is one of an ambitious up-and-coming entrepreneur, rather than a flighty, insignificant teenager."

Danny shook off Vlad's hand. "Hey!"

"Calm down, Daniel. I didn't say you _were_ insignificant. I was referring to an image. No one takes immature teenagers seriously. Focused young men and women, however, are usually taken into consideration if it appears they know what they are doing and are in control. As I'm sure my dear friend Severus explained, appearance is, at times, a more significant reality than substance."

Danny shrugged. "I guess."

"Indeed. So… Tomorrow is Axion, Tuesday is Vladco in Madison, Wisconsin. Wednesday we'll visit the new plant in Amity Park, Minnesota. Thursday, we'll see DALV in Boca Raton, Florida."

The boy blinked. "Seriously?"

"Of course, my son. Just because my… effort to waylay you and your mother in Colorado was a ruse, it doesn't mean that the plot was created from feathers and air. The most effective lies are based in truth. And while the 'mother/son science symposium' was false, had you chosen to look up the DALV Group, you would have discovered my research and development arm in Florida was completely legitimate."

Danny gave an uncomfortable chuckle as he remembered a time when he and Jazz had discussed the validity of the invitation to said 'mother/son science symposium.' Jazz had mused, 'I wonder if this is legitimate.'

At the time, he had opined, 'Legitimately boring, I'm guessing.' Who knew that the DALV Group truly was legitimate?

Vlad sighed. "And from there, we'll proceed to visit your Aunt Alicia in Spittoon, Arkansas, where I promise you can dress as informally (but still presentable) as you like."

Danny smiled at the mention of his aunt. "Thanks. I appreciate this, Papá."

They stood and hugged. "My pleasure, son. Let's get to bed and pack first thing in the morning. We should be ready for breakfast at 8am, and ready to leave at 9."

"G'night, Papá."

* * *

><p>"Welcome to Axion Labs, Mr. Masters, Danny."<p>

Vlad grinned. "Why, thank you, Mr. Grey. Are there any developments I should be made aware of?"

Damon frowned for a moment in concentration. "Nothing specific that I can think of. However, Mr. Smith from production asked to see you. Ms. May is up on the staffing situation, and Mr. White in the executive suite said he had concerns to bring to your attention."

"Excellent work, Mr. Grey. It pleases me to no end that we have an opportunity to show Daniel how the business works on different levels, rather than a brief tour. Please give Valerie our regards."

"Bye, Mr. Grey," Danny said before Vlad directed him to the production floor. As they walked, he asked, "Um… what do you mean that this is different than a 'brief tour'?"

"Ah, my boy," Vlad drawled, "the type of tour you took with your class on a field trip is geared to give you a cursory glance at everything available to the public, and what will – of course – show the company to its most flattering impression. The tour _we_ will take may give a good impression, or it might show ugly underpinnings. We won't know for certain until we see the sights for ourselves."

"Okay."

Danny was surprised to see that the production floor appeared to be a series of assembly lines with non-humanoid robots performing repetitive tasks, and people hovering to make sure the machines operated properly and that the product came out as expected.

A tall, unsmiling man took note of their entrance and walked so smoothly that he practically glided. "It's an honor to see you, Mr. Masters." He nodded at Danny. "Young Mr. Masters."

Vlad smiled. "It's my pleasure, Mr. Smith. Mr. Grey said you wished to see me."

Mr. Smith nodded. "We've had full tallies of the parts, pieces, and finished product. But the heat sensors have spiked. My guess is that someone is planning to do something they shouldn't, but I couldn't say who."

Danny cocked his head at Mr. Smith's mention of 'heat sensors,' but saw Vlad furrow his brows and refrained from comment. The white-haired gentleman frowned, raised a dark eyebrow, and said, "I see." Vlad narrowed his eyes. "Stop Assembly Line 3."

Both Danny and Mr. Smith followed after Vlad, who stalked down the third aisle to stand behind one of the people on the line. "I hope I didn't just see you attempt to pocket the part you've just inspected, Mr. Anderson."

The dark-haired man looked up at Vlad, startled. "I… Mr. Masters!"

Vlad met the eyes of all the people on this line and returned to the man in front of him. "How long have you worked here, Mr. Anderson?"

"About a year and three months."

"Is there something you find unsatisfactory about your conditions here, Mr. Anderson?"

"N-no, Mr. Masters." The pay he received was a wage to be expected by a highly skilled specialist, rather than a hand on an assembly line.

"Is there something lacking in your benefits package?"

Mr. Anderson cleared his throat. "No, sir." The package mentioned covered comprehensive health insurance, accident insurance, and a generous paid vacation schedule.

"Is there something you are lacking that isn't being provided, Mr. Anderson?"

"No, Mr. Masters."

"Hmm… The background checks performed on each person here are extensive. In order to be hired in the first place, you have to be… a superior human."

Mr. Anderson glanced around the room, noticing the different appearances and nationalities of the men and women around him. "Superior in what way, Mr. Masters?"

Vlad raised his eyebrows. "Axion is a subsidiary of Vladco, an Equal Opportunities Employer in an international corporation. What do you _think_ would make people superior? Intelligent individuals with impeccable ethics."

All of the other supervisors shut down the remaining assembly lines so that everyone could listen. It wasn't every day that the President/CEO came to the production floor. Also, being highly praised for simply being ethical wasn't standard operating procedure.

"So tell me, Mr. Anderson… As a satisfied employee and a generally superior individual, please tell me what motivated you to attempt to steal."

Mr. Anderson blushed as he wiped his suddenly sweaty hands on his upper thighs. "I don't have an excuse, Mr. Masters."

"That goes without saying, Mr. Anderson. But the motive…? What was it? Was it a dare? Was it a moment of weakness to have it? Was it a prideful idea 'just to see if you could'? Was there something else?"

The man under interrogation cleared his throat. "Honestly… it was to see if I could. I've been happy working here, and there is no good reason. It _appears_ that security was lax, so I was curious. And obviously wrong."

Vlad studied the man for a moment. "So you are saying that your inspired moment of sticky fingers was more of an impromptu test of the security of the production floor?" Vlad pursed his lips. "I like it. It's a moment of sheer ingenuity. I don't trust it at all, but such creativity deserves to be rewarded."

Mr. Anderson raised his eyebrows. That certainly was unexpected.

"Mr. Smith, please take note. Normal operating procedure dictates that such a lack of judgment is cause for dismissal; at the executive level, it could be accompanied by jail time." Mr. Anderson gulped. "But here, considering that it was a minor offense, and especially since it was 'for a good cause,' Mr. Anderson is now on probation."

Raising an eyebrow, Vlad continued, "For a second offense, Mr. Anderson, you will be dismissed with dishonor. You would find it difficult to find employment elsewhere."

Mr. Smith nodded. "Standard protocol?"

Vlad nodded back. "Yes. That should work."

Mr. Anderson asked, "What is the standard protocol?"

Vlad smiled. "It's very simple, really. As you've seen, security here works well. However, extra attention will be on you for as long as you are on probation. This is not meant to embarrass you, Mr. Anderson. No one but your supervisor and I will be able to notice the difference in how you are watched, relative to anyone else on the floor."

The man under discussion cleared his throat nervously. "So how long is this probation?"

The billionaire clucked his tongue. "Ah, ah, ah, Mr. Anderson, that would be telling. If you were told that, then you would know when your personal security detail was _relatively_ lax again. It could end as early as next week, or next month, or a year from now. You have no way to know, and as I said, the only people here at Axion who will know for certain is the supervisory staff and myself."

Mr. Smith piped in, "Really, Mr. Anderson, you should express your gratitude to Mr. Masters. The terms are more than fair, and you will never see circumstances as forgiving anywhere else. Especially if an employee was caught red-handed by the President/CEO."

"Right. You're right, of course. Thank you for your generosity, Mr. Masters."

"You are welcome, Mr. Anderson. I hope a lesson was learned by everyone here today. Further, I want to thank all of you for your continued good work. Have a good day. Please carry on, Mr. Smith."

The production lines started again as Vlad and Danny left the room and entered the elevator. Once they were alone in the elevator, Danny asked, "Um, Papá? I know you can be nice, but I had the idea that you were, uh, more ruthless than that. What gives?"

Vlad smiled. "Daniel, my boy, you must think I've lost my touch. When it comes to business, I never forgive, and I never forget, no matter how fair and equitably I treat my employees."

"Ooookay." Danny thought for a moment. "So… what is standard protocol?"

"Ah. That would be the standard length of probation."

"So how long until he gets off probation?"

Vlad's smile turned vicious. "Who says he'll be released from probation? This mark of shame will be upon him until he leaves my employ. He never _has_ to leave, mind. But once he's no longer employed here, what he does is his own business, and I'll not stand in his way. He might even receive a glowing letter of recommendation, if his standard of work remains high. Unless, of course, he tries something like this again. That is a different matter entirely."

Danny squirmed. "But you said…"

"I said that he would never know."

"But why?"

"My dear Daniel, if he knew he was never being forgiven, Mr. Anderson would feel he has nothing to lose, and might act out again. As it stands, he will be cautious, ever _hopeful_ of being forgiven… and he will act in a way to earn it. I've just guaranteed the good behavior of Mr. Anderson and everyone else on the production floor. But I will, of course, take nothing for granted."

Danny pursed his lips in concentration. "What is up with the heat sensors?"

"Most perceptive, my boy. The heat sensors act as a polygraph of sorts."

"A poly-what?"

Vlad sighed. "Polygraph. To put it simply, a lie detector. These things don't actually measure truth. Give me a moment." The elevator doors opened. "Ah. I wanted to finish this conversation in my office, where we won't be overheard."

They walked down a short corridor to an office of glass, giving a gorgeous view of Amity Park, Illinois. Both half-ghosts took seats on chairs around a coffee table.

"Daniel, have you ever watched those crime shows, where police give a suspect a 'lie detector test'?"

"Yeah. But they're not admissible as evidence. I've never understood that."

"The reason for that, dear boy, is that these things don't actually judge truth. Nothing but the Veritaserum of the Wizarding World can guarantee that.

"One of the reasons Severus, Albus, and I are so very good at determining student behavior is that people react to different stimuli. Even without the magic of Legilimency or the information to be garnered by overshadowing someone, it is possible to read emotions. Every humanoid body has what they call 'tells.' Guilt, lies, or overall nervousness produce a quickened heart rate and a slight elevation in temperature. There are other signs, sometimes shifty eyes, sometimes other nervous gestures that give a person away.

"But they don't always work. Guilt or lies most often produce the same results as supreme worry about an outcome from someone who is innocent. Further, people with very little conscience can lie coolly and not get the generally expected result. I can usually pass these things, truth, lies, or whatever, even without using my ghost powers to modulate my reactions to manipulate the results.

"Not everyone has my talents, you see, and normal humans usually get normal results. But because the game can be rigged, just as I explained, and because false positives can occur, a polygraph test can't be admissible as evidence in a trial."

Danny shivered. "Whoa."

"Indeed."

"Okay. So the heat sensors told Mr. Smith that it was likely that someone was gonna be guilty of something."

"Correct."

"Papá, wouldn't something like that be highly invasive? Wouldn't that be a violation of privacy?"

"My clever boy. It might, indeed. But everyone who applies for a job anywhere in my financial empire signs a waiver of such rights. Some companies require submission to drug tests. I require submission to polygraph tests, or so it is listed. No one is ever called, but my heat sensors do the job for me."

"That… makes a lot of sense, actually."

"I'm very glad you think so, my boy."

* * *

><p>Vlad took Danny to a different floor where there were many desks with phones and computers, manned by both men and women.<p>

A woman wearing a business suit and high heels, carrying a clipboard, took note of when they got off the elevator. "Mr. Masters, and… Danny, right?" When the boy nodded, she continued, "It's so good to see you. I took my kids to see the Casper High ghost tours. If you did half the things they say you did, you are very brave, indeed."

Danny gulped. "Um, thanks for saying so, Ms..."

"May. Melissa May."

"Right."

Vlad smirked; his boy was going to have to get used to his human persona being in the limelight. "My son is quite an accomplished young man. So, Ms. May, what do you have to report?"

She beckoned the men to a desk she gestured at. "Sandy Jones is still on maternity leave, but the temp working reception in her stead is doing a fantastic job."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Janice is so good that, well, it might be worth it to pay the temp agency extra to take her on full time, if we have a position open."

"Very good, Ms. May. Keeping an eye on potential is always worthwhile." He watched Janice look askance at her screen and raise her hand.

Melissa approached her. "How can I help you, Janice?"

"These numbers can't be right. The client who called told me the price he saw advertised. But the price on the list in the database doesn't match. How can I process the order when the numbers are wrong?"

Ms. May was about to answer, but Vlad stepped closer. "The numbers don't match? Let me see the list."

The young woman frowned, as she wasn't sure what to expect, but she apologized to the customer on the line for the inconvenience and put him on hold while the matter was resolved.

"Good catch, Janice. The price list on your screen is from last week, and does not reflect the sales that started this week."

She furrowed her brows. "A sale starting July 21? That seems rather random for something that has nothing to do with back-to-school sales, sir."

"Very observant. I like this one, Ms. May! Normally, you are right. Are you new to the area, Miss…"

"Johnson, sir. And yes, I came in from Chicago, as the agency asked me to commute."

"Right, then, Ms. Johnson. The sale is a memorial tribute to the anniversary of the massacre that happened here last year. It isn't meant to be a major marketing ploy, so there was no serious advertising for it. But Ms. May should have an updated list for the sale that will run from today until August 1."

The office manager ran to get the hard copy of the updated list. Janice raised her eyebrows in bemusement. "That's rather sensitive of whoever made that decision."

"Thank you kindly, Ms. Johnson."

The lady blinked. "You're… Mr. Masters, I never…"

He held up a hand. "My goal wasn't to startle you. I like your forthright attitude and attention to detail. I'll have Ms. May start the process to change your status from a temporary to permanent hire, even when Mrs. Jones returns from maternity leave."

Janice's eyes flew wide open. "Thank you! Oh, wow! I just…" Ms. May came back with the new price list and handed it to her. "I'll get back to Mr. Richards, then. Thanks again!" She took the phone off hold and finished her business with the client.

Backing away so that Ms. Johnson wouldn't feel self-conscious as she worked, Vlad nodded. "I agree with your assessment. Purchase her contract from the agency. She'll be a great addition to our team."

"As soon as we're finished, Mr. Masters. There was one more thing."

"Yes?"

"We've received calls from Grunnings Drills, as they wanted to know if and when their contract would be renewed. We've put them on hold and expressed that the necessary people they need to talk to are unavailable."

Vlad smiled. "Very good."

Melissa cocked her head. "Sir, is there a reason we keep putting them off?"

"Yes, Ms. May, there is a reason, and you are doing precisely what needs to be done. I believe that once we talk to Murray White, the calls from Grunnings should cease. But as long as they keep calling, keep them in a holding pattern, as has been done, until you are told otherwise."

Melissa sighed inwardly as she realized that she wasn't going to learn why Axion and all of Masters, Inc. were cutting off all things Grunnings. She smiled and asked, "Is there anything else you wanted, Mr. Masters?"

Vlad sighed contentedly. "Are there any other issues that need to be addressed?"

"No, sir. Not at present."

"Then I thank you for your good work. Remember to call the agency about Janice. You know how to reach me if you need me."

"Have a good day, sir. And Good-bye, Danny."

"Bye, Melissa."

As they made their way back to the elevator, Danny noted, "That was interesting. But why were you so thrilled with Janice?"

Vlad smiled broadly. "Daniel, at some point, you will learn the fine points of how things run. The computers have a database that involves prices, items, and inventory. She could have made a greater commission by selling at the higher price. Instead, she recognized that the sale advertised quietly in the local papers last week would include a lower price than listed on her computer, even though she didn't know the prices.

"She took the time to clarify the situation. She could have argued with the customer, or fudged the numbers, and it would likely have been missed for a while. Instead, she was honest, upright, and forthcoming. I would be a fool to let someone like that slip away as she floats from temp job to temp job. No; I want her working for me."

"Papá, do you always get involved in the day-to-day details of everything?"

"Not always. But I am aware of what the day-to-day details are. I may not know every last detail, but I do check the numbers in accounting at least twice a month, and I do read the reports from my supervisors, managers, the executives, and my boards."

"That's a lot of work. And you still have time for lesson plans, whatever marking you have for classes, and me."

"Yes, son. There will _always_ be time for you."

"But how do you do it?"

"Some of it is practice. Some of it is self-sustaining systems that only need me to peek in on them once in a while. And some of it involves random duplicates on surprise inspections. I _have_ been doing this for over twenty years. Practice makes… well, nothing is perfect, but I do aim to get something as close to perfect as I can."

Danny shook his head. "No matter how involved working for NASA will be, I'm sure _all_ of your business stuff is _far_ more complicated."

Vlad chuckled. "It probably is. But for the most part, it works like a well-oiled machine. There is always room for human error, but I find all of this a rewarding endeavor. Now come, let's see what's concerning Murray White."

A short elevator ride brought them back to the executive offices. When the doors opened, a man wearing a double-breasted suit and a long necktie nodded at them. "Good. You're here." They walked together to a conference room where everyone found seats.

At the head of the table, Vlad announced, "Murray, Damon Grey said you had concerns. What's on your mind?"

"Grunnings, plain and simple. Our phones have been ringing off the hook. The receptionists have been doing a fine job of obstructing them, but the people at Grunnings realize that their problems come from an executive decision.

"It's been the way of things since March, when you gave the order. But now that you're here, and…" He glanced at Danny, turned to Vlad, and raised a questioning eyebrow. Vlad nodded imperiously, so Murray continued. "We're reasonably secure; please tell me _why_ we're shutting out Grunnings. The second quarter has passed, and I need to tell the board _something_."

"Fair enough. A member of their upper management offended me greatly, both personally and professionally."

Murray raised his eyebrows. Vlad Masters had one of the thickest skins in the business, so this came as a true surprise. "May I ask how?"

Vlad's lips curled in a sneer as he remembered Harry's oversized hand-me-downs, his cupboard, the cell of a bedroom the boy was returned to each summer for five years. He closed his eyes before they turned red with righteous anger. "A gross misappropriation of funds and the vicious abuse of a subordinate. The cretin and his accomplice are now in prison for their heinous crimes. I might have spared the company, but these ongoing crimes took place for _fifteen years_. Not one person noticed what was going on, and the partners in crime shamelessly attempted to abuse the boy while I was standing there, at the start of a meeting they anticipated for at least two months."

Danny blinked. That was one way of looking at Harry's neglect and abuse at the hands of the Dursleys.

Vlad opened his eyes and continued. "These are not people I want to associate with: not with me, and not with any company that I'm a part of."

Mr. White was shocked into silence for a minute. When he found his tongue, he admitted, "That's quite a story. Fifteen years, and no one even noticed. And from the sound of it, they didn't attempt to hide their crimes, and _still_ no one put a stop to it."

Danny piped up, "Until Papá did."

The executive turned an assessing eye on the young man across the table from him, on Masters' right. "And what do you know of the matter?"

Danny thought about the perspective Vlad was using, and following his lead, he answered honestly. "I didn't hear a word of all the details at the meeting, but I witnessed the verbal assault. And when the meeting was over, I saw the partners in crime led away by the police. This had to have been all over the British media. It might not have hit the American news, but since the event involved Vlad Masters, I was sure something would have been heard about it."

Vlad smiled proudly. "You are a quick study, my boy."

The boy shrugged. "If you say so, sir."

The adoptive father fondly put a hand on his shoulder.

Murray stroked his clean-shaven chin. "So what are your thoughts on this matter, young man?"

Danny raised his eyebrows. "Which matter? Several have been mentioned. The crimes? I'm glad those people were caught and punished. The abuse?" Anger flashed in his eyes, and Vlad was proud that the boy's eyes stayed blue. "It is wrong, whenever and wherever it happens, no matter who is the abuser and who is the victim. The fact that all those people ignored what went on for years is awful, but the statute of limitations probably will let _them_ off the hook."

Vlad gripped his son's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "I put a bug in the ears of Scotland Yard about the people who surely noticed but did nothing. I'm not certain that they will escape unscathed."

"Good. That's good to know."

Mr. White smiled at Danny. "You have passion. You're articulate. It occurs to me that you might succeed in whatever you set your mind to do, with or without your… father's help and influence."

Danny's eyes flew wide open. "Thanks for saying so, Mr. White."

"So tell me, Danny, what you are interested in? Finance? Law?"

"Astronomy, actually. I'm hoping to get into NASA, after I finish college."

"And where are you attending?"

Danny smiled. "A private school that specializes in the natural sciences in Scotland. I'll start my senior year in high school this September, but I'll be back here to take my SATs in October."

"Good lad. It is commendable for a young man to be so focused on his future. I wish you well on your endeavors."

"Thanks again, Mr. White."

The man was proud of this boy that Masters adopted. Turning back to Vlad, he commented, "So it was management in one of the British Grunnings plants that offended you. Will we be hearing from your holdings in England over this?"

"I wouldn't expect anything of that nature. I've lined up different drill companies, like Kenmore and Black & Decker, among others. There was not a noticeable difference in the quality, quantity, cost, and punctuality in supplying the factories and other facilities with drills from our other sources. It should be as cost effective if not better to work with other suppliers besides Grunnings."

Mr. White pursed his lips and nodded. "That will go a long way to satisfy the curiosity of the board, and will be useful if Grunnings calls back and gets through."

"It's a beautiful thing. Was there anything else?"

* * *

><p>AN – There are no direct references to _The Matrix_ besides the use of the names Smith and Anderson in close proximity, referring to a supervisor and a subordinate. When I thought up that scene, I heard the dialogue in Hugo Weaving and Keanu Reeve's voices, as portrayed in the movie, so I gave the characters their respective names. Therefore, even though the reference is oblique, I've given credit where it is due. Vlad and Danny's dialogue, as always, was voiced by Martin Mull and David Kaufman, as they were voiced in _Danny Phantom. _(So now you know how I hear this in my head.)


	9. Trip to America, Part III

Trip to America, Part III: A Family Affair

Have a happy 2014!

Disclaimer: I do not own either _Danny Phantom_ or _Harry Potter_.

* * *

><p>On Thursday, July 24, Vlad took Danny to visit the DALV Group in Florida, much to Danny's bemusement. The following day, the half-ghosts enjoyed a continental breakfast in the dining room of the hotel where they had stayed overnight.<p>

"I'm not sure if Morph appreciates our stay wherever we go, but I kinda like waking up in another luxurious hotel."

Vlad smiled. "That is one of my many goals: getting you used to the finer things in life."

Danny pulled down at the hem of his favorite tee-shirt. "The finer things in life are okay, as long as we can remember the simple stuff."

"Ah, yes, 'the simple stuff.' Speaking of which, we are visiting your Aunt Alicia today."

The boy sat back and balled his fists, knuckles down, on the table. "I get it. You don't like my aunt any better than you did my Dad. But come on! Can you _not_ insult her every time you mention her?"

Vlad raised his eyebrows. He thought he was getting better at not sniping at Jack Fenton's memory. Still, he was only poking fun at a woman with a skewed sense of priorities. It never occurred to him that Danny might be sensitive to such comments about his aunt.

Peaking his dark eyebrows, Vlad apologized. "Please forgive me, Daniel. I mean no offense to you. However, your aunt bothers me tremendously. The woman cords her own wood quite admirably and cheerfully acknowledges the correction of her mistakes in life. This same woman has priority issues. You know my thoughts on sanitary conditions. She blithely ignores sanitation as a matter of course, but she maintains an email account!"

He turned his face away from the boy. "But I suppose you're right. It's beneath me to insult one such as your aunt."

Danny cocked an eyebrow and couldn't figure out if he had just been praised, or if his aunt was just insulted again, but worse.

Taking a breath and starting again, Vlad looked back at Danny and said, "If we did things the normal way, it would take a few hours to get from here to there by helicopter, and we would need a stopover for refueling in Alabama."

"Or…?"

"Or, we could pool our powers as we did in practice to create a large enough ghost portal that would fit the helicopter, and take it through to outside of a town called Clarksville in Arkansas, about ten miles from Spittoon. Then we'd fly to Alicia's front yard."

"That sounds more appealing. But, um… Won't someone notice the helicopter just disappearing from the parking space in the airfield?"

Vlad smiled again. "My dearest Daniel, your naïveté is so delightful! No, dear boy, we won't simply disappear from the airfield. We'll fly off the western coast of Florida, making the ghost portal while we hover somewhere over the Gulf of Mexico. If we do this right, I can't imagine our flight taking more than twenty minutes."

"Won't the Coast Guard get suspicious?"

"I imagine they might, Daniel. But as most people actively disbelieve in magic, ghosts, or the paranormal even when in front of their very eyes, I'm almost certain that our sudden disappearance will be thought of as a hallucination that would fail to be reported." Vlad rolled his eyes. "Unless the Guys in White pick up the ghost portal before the Coast Guard does. And even then, the fools wouldn't be able to distinguish between a random ghost portal and a ghost-made portal."

Danny rolled his head on his left shoulder. "I guess that makes sense."

"Quite. Now finish your breakfast. I'll call for the bellboy while you finish preparing Morph for today's travels."

* * *

><p>The sight and sound of the helicopter brought out all the neighbors within earshot. The helicopter touched down on the lawn of Danny's Aunt Alicia, carefully avoiding her prized rhubarb patch.<p>

Danny and Vlad ducked as they hurried away from the blades (temporarily leaving the cat in the cab of the copter), and came to stand in front of Alicia Emanuel, who stood akimbo.

"So, Masters, it's about time you let me see my nephew. Couldn't be bothered to get away from your business in Scotland to make time for me, could you?"

Danny winced. "I thought about you."

"I know you did. You said so in your letters. But you, Masters? What's your excuse?"

Vlad sneered. "You might be his aunt, and you've often shared such lovely sentiments in our electronic communiqués. However, I have a serious problem bringing a teenager to a location where you have nary a bathroom nor an outhouse. I'm not sure how you and yours manage without such sanitation, but I'm not willing to subject my adopted son to this deplorable situation for any longer than necessary."

Danny saw a storm brewing between these two. "Look – Aunt Alicia, we were in school during Thanksgiving."

"I know. You said so in your letters. Still… I miss hearing from Maddie. We always exchanged phone calls and Christmas cards. Last I remember, your sister Jazz was shapin' up. She made your mother real proud, as she was accepted to at least two Ivy League schools, as well as a few others."

Danny found his shoes fascinating. "Yeah. Jazz was good that way."

Alicia tilted his chin up with a finger. "My sister was proud of you, too. The idea that you figured a way to get here all on your own to deliver yer Dad's anniversary gift to yer mother's got to count for somethin'. It shows initiative, drive, and ingenuity. Not every teenager and his sister can finagle his way onto an airplane without adult supervision on either end." She smiled. "I'm proud of you, too."

Danny gave her a hug. "Thanks, Aunt Alicia."

Vlad shook his head. Alicia was, on all accounts, a bitter old bat. But Daniel managed to warm even her heart. His boy was something else.

"Oddly enough, I even almost miss your lunk of a father. Your parents were married for 18 years, and he never _once_ remembered their anniversary."

Vlad smirked. "Oddly enough, we share similar sentiments of Jack Fenton."

Alicia sneered at the billionaire. "Huh. And to think that their oddball date for a wedding was all on account of _you_, and you couldn't be bothered to show up."

The man jerked his head. "I beg your pardon?"

"Maddie was upset that you were so ill. Jack was insistent that 'his buddy V-Man' would be able to come. So they chose May 9, the day after you were discharged from the hospital. I was hopin' for May 1, but there were complications… you ungrateful lug. They built the start of their marriage around_ you_, and you snubbed them." She shook her head. "Like most men, Masters, you're completely useless."

The men gathered around to hear her diatribe shook their heads in response, recognizing one of Alicia's sources of bitterness.

Danny blinked. "Aunt Alicia, are you serious? My parents set their wedding date to honor… Papá?"

Alicia gave a belly laugh. "Masters, you're a riot. You got my Danny callin' you Papa, but like a foreigner. So tell me, Masters, are you tryin' to tell me my nephew's too good for me?"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "No, you ignorant bat. When I adopted Daniel, he called Jack 'Dad,' and I wasn't going to take that away from him. So I had him call me what I called my own father, who emigrated from Romania."

She still chuckled. "Well, at least that makes sense."

"Alicia, you will find that almost everything I do has a purpose."

"So you skipped my sister's wedding because…?"

"I wished I was the groom."

Danny crossed his arms. "It wouldn't have worked out. My parents were meant for each other."

Everyone was taken aback by this pronouncement from a teenager except Vlad, who closed his eyes. Clockwork, the Ghost Master of Time, made this more than clear. "Yes, Daniel. I suppose you're right. But at the time I was jealous, bitter, and spiteful. I hope I've outgrown some of that in the intervening 19 years between then and now."

He opened his eyes and smirked again. "Unlike _some_ people we know who absolutely revel in their bitterness."

The woman huffed. "If you knew what Joshua did to me, you'd know why I was glad to be shot of him. However, it was more than a bit surprising that he showed up for the party celebrating the tenth anniversary of our divorce."

One man from the crowd of onlookers stepped forward after adjusting his corncob pipe amongst his teeth and tucking his thumbs behind the straps of his suspenders. "That would be Maddie's work, Alicia. She called him, but I gave her the number. But I won't tell ya what we done to convince the varmint ta not only come but to be sportin' enough ta take a seat in the dunk tank. I'm afear'd yer nephew won't think well o' me or his mother. But fer some reason, I bet ol' Mr. Masters here would've appreciated it."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon? Who are you to say such things about me?"

The man nodded. "The name's Zeke. And I jest got a feelin' about ya. Don't know how I knows things, but my feelin's ain't steered me wrong yet."

"What a fascinating talent you have, Zeke. What _else_ do you sense about me?"

"That you and the boy have a great deal in common. Couldn't say what, though. 'Licia here's talked more on how the boy's more like his mother. Not especially clever – that would be Jazz. But hyper-alert and just… knowin' things. More like sensin' things." He shrugged. "I dunno. There's just somethin' you two share more than the adoption. But like I said 'afore, I caint tell ya what."

Vlad raised then settled his eyebrows. Zeke (perhaps short for either Ezekiel or Hezekiah, but once he worked it out for certain, Vlad would call him by his proper name) was one to keep an eye on. He was far too observant and… Dear heavens! The man seemed to have romantic aspirations for Alicia! Vlad would do them no favors to announce this until they were ready to figure it out on their own.

Instead, Vlad pursed his lips and nodded. "As luck would have it, you're right. We _do_ have more than a few things in common. With no offense to you, Alicia…"

"I doubt it," the woman muttered.

"Daniel and I have so much in common that at his lowest point, the day of the massacre of his family, friends, and town at large, _I _was the one he sought for comfort, despite the fact that you are his last remaining blood relative. Despite the fact that he _had_ seen you several times over the years, and he never even _met_ me until he was 14."

Alicia crossed her arms. "Maybe ya got a point there, Masters." She cut her eyes up and to the left in thought. "Eh," she growled, "the both of you better set yourselves down on the porch. I'll bring out some lemonade and sandwiches, and we'll see where we go from here."

Vlad blinked in surprise. "Thank you, Madam."

As he started to lower himself into one of the porch rocking chairs, he flinched when the woman poked him in the chest. "Don't you _dare_ call me Madam! What's wrong with you?"

Danny piped up, "Aunt Alicia, we've spent the last year in Great Britain. Calling ladies 'madam' is a term of respect. I can almost promise you that Papá wasn't trying to insult you by… whatever you thought he meant."

Turning her face to her nephew, she lowered her ire, but narrowed her eyes. "That so?"

The boy squirmed. "Yeah. Everyone called our school nurse Madam Pomfrey. And…"

Vlad brushed the distracted woman's hand away from him. "And I attempted to accord you the respect deserved by the sister of my friend Maddie, not to hint that you operated a bordello, you brash twit."

Danny decided to look up the word 'bordello' at another time, and said, "Um, Aunt, could I help you get refreshments?"

Alicia stepped away from Masters, threw up her hands in disgust at this miscommunication, and sighed. "Sure, Danny. Let's go." They entered the house, leaving a small crowd of men around the front yard.

Zeke nodded at Vlad. "Yer a brave man, Mr. Masters."

Vlad hissed in ironic mirth. "Hardly."

One of Alicia's long-bearded neighbors observed, "You not only surprised her, ya outclassed her knowledge, and ya both praised and insulted her at the same time. She don't suffer fools lightly, and she don't stand for slights to her honor. And ya managed to surprise our lady, here."

Zeke chuckled. "Carl, the only reason he got away unharmed is 'cause of the boy, Danny." The eight men standing around nodded, murmuring amongst themselves.

Vlad shook his head. "It appears that the lot of you respect Alicia."

Carl crowed, "Yep, we do. The produce she pulls from her garden is worth more'n a pretty penny. She's got talent for workin' with wood, an' she's on the town council, such as it is. She's got ideas, and they're usually good ones."

The businessman rocked in his chair for a bit. "Zeke, does Alicia know you've set her in your sights, romantically speaking?"

Vlad hoped to throw the hayseed through a loop, so he was surprised when the man simply shrugged. "Don't rightly know. But it has been eleven years since she got rid of Joshua. Didn't deserve the lady, 'specially since he couldn't appreciate her. She's strong as an ox, healthy as a horse, and productive as all get-out. Worth more'n her weight in gold, an' more sturdy than her sister, though just as fine. Now, if she gets it into her head that I mean every word I've said and lets me into her heart, I'll be the luckiest man in Creation. But she's had cause to have a hard heart, as her ex seriously done her wrong."

Zeke sighed. "P'rhaps one day, she'll see that not all men are as worthless as her ex. But she's worth waitin' for. Yep, she is."

"Then maybe you can join my nephew, Masters, and me for this mid-morning refreshment break."

Zeke jerked his head to see Alicia carrying a tray of sandwiches with an eyebrow raised, and the boy trailed after her with the pitcher of lemonade and a stack of cups. Zeke beamed at her. Carl sighed and directed, "Fellers, I do believe we can find someplace else to be until we're needed." Turning back to the invitee, he whispered, "Yer one lucky man, Zeke. Just… watch it."

Carl led away the group of guys who gave Jack Fenton advice on how to make up with his wife after having forgotten their 18th anniversary. Jack might have been a college-educated man, but he was a goof of epic proportions and needed as much help as he could get his hands on.

Danny asked, "How come you live way out here, Aunt Alicia? I mean, Mom and Dad lived in Illinois. They went to college in Wisconsin. But for as long as I can remember, you've been here." Vlad raised his eyebrows in curiosity. Zeke shrugged, already knowing the answer.

Alicia sighed. "It's simple, really. Yer mother and I were born here. Our parents moved up north to follow a lead for a job. Since we were 8, we lived in Illinois. Maddie went to the University of Wisconsin in Madison. I went to Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois."

Danny blinked. "Seriously? Then how… but… I don't get it."

"After I got divorced, I came back here. Joshua was a yuppie. I got as far away from that as I could. It's simpler, here. I've been without him, and have been content."

Zeke raised an eyebrow. "Content, but not happy, no matter what you told yer sister."

Alicia narrowed her eyes. "Here, I'm self-sufficient. I don't _need_ anyone's help for anything. That can't be said of city living anywhere. And since we already owned this land, it was worth coming back here. I've got the business know-how to sell what I make, grow, cut, or otherwise create. Here, I've got the space, the time, the peace of mind. And contrary to popular opinion, I am perfectly happy, Ezekiel Jackson."

Completely unruffled, Zeke responded, "Maybe so, Alicia. Maybe ya _don't_ need nothin' you don't already have. But I can think of a thing or two you might actually appreciate havin', if you choose to think on it. You've already got admiration, whatever the guys might say on the matter. And you got the love o' yer nephew, no matter where in the world he might be. And I'm sure yer sister still loves ya from her restin' place on high. But the love and constancy of someone here and now… Ya might not need it, but ya might give some thought to wantin' it."

She stared at him. "Why now?"

"Why not? But more to th' point, I seen yer eyes when you laid 'em on Danny fer the first time in a year. While you might have a case to be annoyed with Mr. Masters fer not comin' more often, your eyes lit with the brightness that swamp gas caint bring from a fire fer the boy. You might not care, but I'd like to bring that brightness to yer eyes again, even when yer Danny-boy ain't here."

Alicia crossed her arms. "We'll see."

"Caint ask fer more'n that."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Swamp gas, huh?"

"You betcha."

"I'll have to think about that." She stared at him for a few moments. Deciding that she found what she was looking for, she nodded and took a sip of her lemonade.

Turning to face Vlad, Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Zeke mentioned that I might have a case of sorts against you. What's your excuse for not bringing my nephew to me, or not setting up so I could visit for the holidays?"

Danny cleared his throat. "Aunt Alicia, I go to school in Scotland. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving there. I didn't have the day off, or that Friday as part of the weekend afterwards. There wouldn't have been time to get from here to there, and then spend a couple of hours together for dinner. I mean, if we had the time to spend together, that would make more sense. I even asked Papá about including you for Thanksgiving. We just couldn't do it."

Alicia nodded. "Understood." She sneered at Vlad. "What about Christmas and Easter?"

Vlad crossed his arms. "It's as I said."

The woman huffed. "That's awfully rich, comin' from a guy like you. It's not like I control the municipal government and can get indoor plumbing on a dime. That type of thing wouldn't just affect _me_. You'd have to take all of Spittoon into account. And there aren't enough people here to make the companies' while to hook us up."

Zeke chimed in. "There ain't enough money amongst the lot of us to call in a company ourselves. Ain't enough people here to qualify for a government subsidy to get things started."

He shook his head. "A few years back, I walked into Clarksville to ask about puttin' in a septic tank. They said that was all well and good, but when all we got is well water, and water from the creek, it ain't practical to set up a septic tank, when ya need running water to make it work."

Vlad covered his eyes. "Unbelievable. I can't…" He stopped and glared at Alicia and Ezekiel. "You don't have the money and the local municipality is truly useless. I…"

He sighed gustily. "I imagine that we could arrange meeting some time during Christmas, Easter, and summer break, like now. And perhaps you might enjoy meeting Daniel's friends and adopted family."

Alicia waved at the helicopter. "You've proved that you are more than capable of transportation here to there and back again. But it might be nice to see my nephew in my own house more often."

"I've explained why that's not an acceptable situation. Unless… hmm…"

"Papá?"

"The things I'm willing to do for you, child." Vlad stroked his short beard. "I imagine I can bring in a construction company under my employ. Zoning authorities will need to issue licenses. I'll need foremen, architects, construction workers, suppliers, accountants…"

Zeke cried, "Mr. Masters, are you seriously talkin', no, _thinkin'_ about single-handedly puttin' in indoor plumbin' and a whole sewer system into our little town, here?"

"Not single-handedly. There are hundreds, if not thousands of man-hours to make this work. You might need to expand the commercialism for a bit, as the people working here would need resources. It would make Spittoon more than just a hayseed hamlet. It would become a functioning town in every fashion. It would increase the local revenue, and the local government wouldn't be able to ignore…"

Alicia interrupted, "Vlad Masters, are you seriously telling us that you intend to change the whole make-up of this community just so you'd be more willing to bring Danny here more often?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Vlad tilted his head. "Because, Alicia, though you may be a bitter old bat, my son has expressed a desire to see you more frequently. Since you are his only living blood relative, and since I have no desire to deny my son any reasonable request, I see no reason to refuse him this, either. But I will _not_ allow for a situation where there's no bathroom inside, and no outhouse outside. With no infrastructure to have plumbing inside nor refuse removal on a scale to be useful to work with the number of outhouses needed to make this place sanitary, there is only one solution, if you want me to bring Daniel here more frequently. And that is to _install_ the infrastructure. I've also long held by the adage: if you want something done right, do it yourself.

"I have the means to do it, so I will."

"Just so you can be happy with the conditions so I can see my nephew more frequently?" Alicia pressed.

"That's what I said."

"Perhaps you're not as useless as I thought you were, Masters. Not useless at all."


End file.
